I've known Dave for four years, since we were freshmen. He's smart, majoring in biology, wanting to go on to med school. He's a straight A student--and I mean it, a 3.98 GPA. For the first two years of college, he always said he wanted to go to Harvard or Johns Hopkins or another top med school. However, his third year, he met a girl, which is normal, I guess. But this girl (who's staying for a fifth year) wants him to stay also, and pursuaded Dave to stay at the same school for med school as well. The school we're at is not top-ranked, and I really feel he's doing it just because she's pressuring him to do so. He also got a 98 percentile on his MCATs. Seriously, he can go to any med school he wants. When do you tell a good friend that he's making a bad decision? While I know that "it's his life" and I should support him about it, I know he gave up his dream for a girl, and as his friend, feel like I have an obligation to talk to him about it.
2006-08-12 15:17:09 · 19 answers · asked by euges116 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
As a friend you have an obligation to give him your opinion on the situation. Sit him down and have a serious talk. However, after he makes his decision, don't press the issue. Dave is not that freshman anymore, but an adult. He will have to deal with the decisions he makes in the long run.
2006-08-12 15:19:54 · answer #1 · answered by thesweetestthings24 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ya. If its like you say, he's being a fool for a pretty face. Use his on biology/premed schooling against him and remind him he is being tricked by nature, not so much the winch, and if she's the one she would support his need to go to the better school to attain the better training.
Key points to use:
Letting small head do crucial decision making
Why can't she go to the other school with him
Another smart young man gets derailed by feminine powers
Remind him that when or if he goes to Jhopkins and has that sheepskin hanging on his office wall in a few years, bitches that won't give him the time of day now will be grabbing their ankles for him then!
There is just too many available women for him to settle on one now.
2006-08-12 15:31:53 · answer #2 · answered by ricosuarve 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should approach it fr a diff't pt of view. Ask him if he'd tell you if you were making a bad decision. Maybe you could even ask him if he'd like it if HE did the same for him. You could let him know that girls come & go. What if their rel ends ? Even peeps who love each other move to other COUNTRIES. There's this young couple who are fr Slovakia & the guy moved here (he got a job online) & they interviewed him on the phone. He went back to Slovakia just to marry her & came right back. He was living here for 1.5 YRS b/f she came to Canada !!! They lived here a for not even a yr (she didn't get to take holidays) & then they moved to Calgary, Alberta, Canada.
Sure your friend & his gf may not be getting married but my story just goes to show that peeps who live on the other side of the WORLD can make it if they really love each other & try to make the rel work. Don't let him give up on a really good school. Tell him that you just don't want him to do something he may regret later on. Good luck !!! I hope that he doesn't stay just for her also. He's lucky to have a friend like you. You can tell him this story &/or show him this Q (or my A) too if you want.
2006-08-12 15:26:11 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should tell him all of this. I also agree completely with you (and I'm a chick, go figure). She's pressuring him to compromise his dreams, and who knows? She could dump him or they mutually break - up, and he'll regret that he didn't go to Harvard / John Hopkins for the rest of his life. He shouldn't ruin his potential for this girl, and you need to convince him of that. Careers are very important to the overall success of a person. Think if he was to go and become a top-doctor... He could support his GIRLFRIEND, who could become his wife, who could later - on become a mother, and he'd have a family to provide for. Then he could pamper them and come home satisfied.
One girl shouldn't cause him to remorse for the rest of his life. Tell him to embrace his potential and opportunities that may come.
He should at least apply to these colleges. :) Good luck!
2006-08-12 15:23:06 · answer #4 · answered by Slippers 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You cannot make your friend's decisions for him. That's just not how things are done. Wouldn't you resent him interfering in your life? You've only known him for four years - it's not like you're lifelong buddies, so back off and let him do his thing. For him, it's the right decision, but if it backfires, he has to live with it. And if he took any advice from you, and it backfired, he would blame you.
2006-08-12 15:21:40 · answer #5 · answered by theophilus 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can talk to him about it however it is ultimately his decision. I have to agree giving up his dream for a girl that he might not be with this time next year is a bad idea. He may end up resenting her for it. Talk to him but in a non judgemental way. Good luck.
2006-08-12 15:21:58 · answer #6 · answered by Medical and Business Information 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure he will regret it for the rest of his life, and you'll share it with him, so I suggest you take him aside and tell him what you think, the good and the bad, tell him to think of his next 10 or 20 years, will he be happy? this is a big step in you friendship, so don't jump over it, pass by it.
Good Luck.
2006-08-12 15:25:22 · answer #7 · answered by Not a happy bunny 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the two of you have been good friends for 4 years, you should be able to discuss your concerns about his choice. Your entitled to your opinion. But, ultimately, its his life and his choice.
2006-08-12 15:23:59 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Explain him the situation.
Show him SWOT analysis (Strength, Weakness, Opportunity, Threat) for his present situation. Do same analysis for the action you like him to do.
Compare them.
He surely would listen to a friend.
2006-08-12 15:22:33 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well ya know ppl give up dreams 4 theyre kids an they come out great an u never know u parents may have givin up their dreams 4 each other or even u
2006-08-12 15:19:47 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋