Here is the basic story...When I was real little and lived in NY (I was about 5-7) my mom had cheated on my dad more than once w/ more than one person (her excuse is she was depressed...lame right?) Well 2 of the people she did stuff with were 2 of my dad's so called "Best Friend's" ...I was kinbda hurt by this when i was little but didn't understand fully so never told anyone ....Then I moved to Florida when I was 8 w/ my family...Then as I got to be about 13 or 14 I confronted my mom that I knew what she did...She was shocked I knew ..Anyway, I told some people that I was close to and they think it's terrible becase she never told my dad anything about what she had done...
What makes this bad is one of his so called "best friend's" has moved in our house ..He says he's struggling and needed help and my dad let him in to stay..and he's using my car because he doesn't have his own..I feel like the guy is a**hole for even trying to stay here after betraying my dad.Should I tell my dad?
2006-08-12 14:26:21 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I think telling your father would depend on the situation now. It's rather obvious the guy isn't worth the air he breathes. Who does this to his best friend and then continues to rely on him for support years after stabbing him in the back with the ultimate betrayal? However, as bad as it was at the time, unless there is something going on now, I think sparing your father's feelings is far more important. He sounds like a good man who doesn't deserve any of this and although knowing might make you feel better to get rid of this terrible secret, it's not going to make him feel better. And at this point, I think it really needs to be about your father. As for your car, however, use your secret to your advantage. Pull this loser aside and tell him that you know what went on years ago and if he doesn't quit mooching off your family, s**t is going to hit the fan. I can almost guarantee he doesn't stick around long. Good luck honey.
2006-08-12 14:35:16 · answer #1 · answered by Hollynfaith 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
what a tangled web. i suggest letting sleeping dogs lie. frankly i'd be more inclined to want to tell him b/c he' still with your mother, not b/c of his best friend. but regardless, it will only serve to upset an apple cart that may have some pretty serious consequences. i would find it hard after all this time to believe that your dad has never had an inkling about his wife and 2 best friends, so consider the fact that either he may not want to know or he already knows and has made his peace with it somehow. but it is your parents business and it is over, so i don't see the point in hurting your dad with it now, even though it seems he should be told. just my opinion, but ask yourself what would be gained by telling him and what would be lost.
2006-08-12 14:33:02 · answer #2 · answered by hiddenhotty 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As much as your parent's marriage affects you, it is not your marriage to manage or destroy, and that could be what you do by telling your Dad. If you really need to do something, I would suggest that you put the screws to your mom and get her to do the right thing. Even if your Dad never knows about the tryst, your Mom should not be allowing this guy to stay there. More than anything thing else, a marriage is work and sacrifice. If she is going to continue to hide the truth or even lie to your dad for the sake of their marriage, your Mom still needs to do something about this.
2006-08-12 14:34:42 · answer #3 · answered by Johnny Canuck 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Friends, especially best friends, do not act this way...but it happens every day, sadly enough. You would like to tell your dad, but are you ready to face the consequences right now? I think you should not tell your dad, and let him find out on his own. He might already know, just getting the proof he needs before acting. The guy is a real a**hole, you're right about that!
2006-08-12 14:33:41 · answer #4 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. Put yourself in your Dad's shoes......do you think that if your dad knew what had happened, that he would ever even think of allowing that guy to sleep under the same roof as your mom? He has a right to know what his wife and supposed friend did. And definitely since the guy is living with you. And you should tell that guy that you don't want him touching your car, for the disgutsting, dirty and low thing that he did to his "friend." If it were you that was kept in the dark, wouldn't you want to know?
2006-08-12 14:32:59 · answer #5 · answered by stringemuphigh 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
holy crap. Dont know how to answer this one. Try this tell your mom you are going to tell your dad about this guy and see what comes of that. If she no and she does nothing then go to your dad and say something. Either way you might be destroying your family by saying something you know.
You have to look at it as the lesser of 2 evils. If something has to be said then say it but again realize you might ruin a family by saying something here.
2006-08-12 14:33:21 · answer #6 · answered by quikone2 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Staying in the house with your mom is one thing, him using your car is an entirely different story. If you do not want him to use your car and your mom doesn't listen and takes his side, tell your father.
2006-08-12 14:47:03 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No I would not tell your dad. Nothing good could come from that. Maybe you could confront this guy about it or tell your mom that you are uncomfortable with this situation
2006-08-12 14:38:41 · answer #8 · answered by bridget36 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is going to fire on you next. Tell your mom and dad he's trying to get into the bathroom while your in there. You might have to fight dirty to get you comfort zone back. That way you can keep things cool with mom & dads' relationship and gid rid of the nusance. I'm sure he will screw up shortly, just help it along.
2006-08-12 14:35:13 · answer #9 · answered by ricosuarve 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's up to u what u want to do. it happen so long ago and if i were u i would leave it alone. but if your mom is still doing it sit down and tell her how u feel about this. don't cause any drama if u can help it
2006-08-12 14:30:29 · answer #10 · answered by mrsx2u 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋