Is it wrong to talk to guys online if you are married?

Question

I have been talking to a guy online in German, my husband doesnt speak the language and couldnt know what we talk about if he tried. i havent told him that I talk to this guy cuz he does get kinda jelous. Im not really doing nothing wrong, only talking in a language that we are both fluent in. Ya know the city i live in doesnt have alot of people who speak german, so this kinda helps me not lose the fluency.

What do oyu guys think? Woudl you be pissed off if your spouse was chatting in a langguage you csnt read nor speak?

no its not cyber sex, we talk about normal every days things. I also talk to females from Germany. But the man and I have alot in common and hes really nice, no feelings towrds him or anything like that. Just strikly friends.

Answer 1

you are doing something wrong, you are not telling your husband about what you are doing so you know it is wrong. this is the kind of things that cause divorce. you should be ashamed of yourself.

Answer 2

I would say yes. Although you say you do it to stay fluent in German, I think it's and excuse. If your husband is already a jealous man, it will put you in some dangerous circumstances. It sounds like you have some issues at home with your spouse and talking to the other guys fulfills something that you may think is missing. I am sure there are places where you live where you can talk to German speaking people. Have you tried becoming and interpreter, or teach some children a secondary language, seek out German speaking people you can interact with along with your husband, if you have children speak to them in German. It's OK, to have multi languages in a household. I would be pissed, because I feel there is nothing I can't talk over with my spouse and not be able to work out.

Answer 3

While I usually have zero patience for folks who flirt on-line, I was ALMOST ready to say that in this case, it's harmless. BUT, you said "not really doing nothing wrong" You busted yourself. You ARE doing something wrong, even if you two are never on the same continent. When I was in Germany, I noticed lots of women. They live there. AND, they speak German. I'm willing to bet that somewhere near 50% of Germans are females. So, you are choosing to chat with a man, not just a person who speaks German. Now, quit, or deal with the consequences. These games kill marriages.

Answer 4

I think deep down, you already know the answer to your question. It doesn't matter if you are just chatting about the weather with this man....the idea is that you are chatting with another man. This is not only going to make your husband feel a little insecure, but it's going to put a wedge between the two of you that doesn't need to be there. If you are worried about losing the fluency of German, take a class with your husband to teach him the language. Not only will it be a fun way for the two of you to bond, but it gives the both of you your own little language that nobody around you understands.

Answer 5

I think if you are sharing more time with this person that you do any of your other friends - then yes you are. You might not think it, but you are putting energy, time, and thoughts into someone else. And guess what - If you have to ask to the question - then yes you probably are.
There are many more forms of cheating than just physical - it could be financial, emotional, and even fantasy. If it takes away even a little bit from putting your husband first in your life, then yes. And especially so that it is a guy, that you haven't told him it was a guy, and that your husband can't understand what you are saying.
Start putting that time and energy back into your marriage, before he starts to wander too. If he is the jealous type, he probably wouldn't be if he knew he was number one.

Answer 6

I wouldn't be pissed, but of course I have alot of trust in my relationship. It is always based upon the person and upon the relationship. As a guy, of course, I would wonder what my wife was talking about because that is just natural curiousity. If she could translate a bit for me, or just told me what they were talking about every once in a while, i wouldn't have a problem. If she put up a front of secrecy, i may be a little suspicious as to what they were talking about... but again, if you don't feel you are doing anything wrong, and you haven't given your husband any reason to not trust you - I wouldn't think it would cause problems. I would, however, tell your husband the same thing you told Yahoo!.. that you are just talking.

Answer 7

So in accordance to all the different solutions (aside from 1) that's outwardly against the regulation for a married woman to have a chum. i'm married besides and function been chatting online with a guy for a 12 months now. he's an extremely pal of mine and my husband is totally responsive to it and gentle with it. in certainty, he has a chum online that's lady and chats along with her each and every of the time. we don't have a subject with it by using fact we have confidence and love one yet another. i don't think of which you conversing on your pal is any distinctive from conversing to a woman pal. If the pal have been lady then no you may still have a subject with it. a guy or woman is a guy or woman no remember what gender they're. and you're superb suited, it somewhat is large to talk to a guy now and back. not all women desire to blab approximately nail polish and intense heels each and every of the time. Plus, having a guy's viewpoint has probable helped you resolve a lot of issues on your man or woman relationship. It has truthfully helped me. If I gave my husband a subject approximately conversing to a woman online i could in basic terms push him to desire to cheat on me. you will not be able to "very own" human beings. you may in basic terms love them and have confidence them and desire they do an identical. It sounds to me such as you're actually not any the place close to an affair or doing something you need to feel embarrassment approximately. Have your pal. appreciate your friendship. And tell your husband to recover from himself.

Answer 8

Honestly, just the simple fact that you have not told your husband about this new "friend" and just from the way you sound, just based on what I am reading here (which is obviously all I have to base my opinions on) you seem pretty content, even more so, due to your husband being unaware of your conversations with this person...

That is the only concern I would have about it.

I really don't see anything wrong with chatting online (just as friends) when you are married. Maybe I'm wrong, but I have the opinion that if you feel you can't tell your husband about it, or if you just rather he not know, beacause of his "jealousy" then that to me, signals that there is a potential problem going on.

Sure, you may have no intentions of anything else beyong having a new friend, that you can enjoy speaking German with. That's fine, nothing wrong with it at all. But just the fact that you feel this need to keep that to yourself, it makes me wonder what exactly you are discussing with this person, and what your (as well as his) intentions are.

You know, it's like they always say.. Would you do it with your spouse standing right there? (if he could read german, or if you were typing in english) If you cannot answer that question with a definate "yes" then I do believe there is a problem, and it needs to be taken care of, before it causes a much bigger issue in your life.

I know that it can be a little stressing, when your spouse seems a bit jealous over whoever you talk to, for whatever the reason.. But if you start to just exclude him, and not even bother telling him when you make a new friend, well.. that is only going to make him feel worse, and less secure.

I guess the best way for you to decide what to do about it would be to just think about it from the other side. How would you feel if your husband had this secret friend online, one he didn't feel the need to tell you about, simply because he thinks you would "get jealous" or something like that?? Would you be alright with knowing that your husband is sitting around, chatting with some woman on here, and in a language you cannot even understand?? If you can honestly say that it would not bother you, even if it was something you found out on your own, and with the knowledge that your own spouse didn't even bother to let you know about it (which to me, is a sign that there is something to hide..), if that does not bother you, then sure.. continue with the way things are.

I think you already know that there are better ways to handle this situation.. Speaking as a married woman myself, and one who does have male friends online.. I do tell my husband about these people, and he even knows some of them himself. I don't see any reason to hide anything, regardless of whatever misunderstands might occur (although we have not had to deal with anything like that). I just feel that if you have a friend online, especially one of the opposite sex, then unless there is more to the story than you let on, there would be no reason to keep your husband in the dark about it.

I hope you will do the mature thing, and let your husband know about your friend. If it's really how you say, and you're only enjoying the company of chatting with someone with whom you share a second language with.. and it's not something more, even if it's just "playing around" then yes, tell him about it. I would think that you would want to share that with your husband.. and who knows, maybe it would make him interested in learning the language, not so he can read your conversations, but so it can be something the two of you can share.. that is, if you really are just enjoying speaking the language, and nothing more...

Yea, my opinion is very strong about this issue, and I know I can get a bit on the rambling side, so I think I will just stop there.

I really do hope you make the right decision, and tell your husband.

Take care, and God bless!

Answer 9

If by chatting, you mean cyber sex...then yes it is wrong. If you mean you are just talking about the weather, then yes it is wrong. Intentionally doing something that you know would hurt the person you love (even if you think it is unreasonable) is wrong. I am supposing you knew he was jealous when you married him and you chose to marry him anyway. And it is doubly wrong if you get jealous when/if he speaks to other women. I am sure there are a few million German women you could chat with.

Answer 10

I do not think it is a good idea. I would suggest finding a woman that you can have converstions with in German.
There are a few reasons for this. One being that if you can not tell your husband about it then it is something you should not be doing. The second being that a married woman should not be having a close friendship with a man that is not her husband.

Answer 11

You should not feel guilty because you are chatting with another man in another language. It's not like you are engaging in infidelity. If you want to continue chatting with him there shouldn't be any problems. If you wouldn't get jealous if your husband spoke to another woman in a language you don't understand, then you husband shouldn't feel jealous. After all, the Internet has allowed us to communicate with different people around the world, so we should take the opportunity to do so.