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married divorced her a year ago. My question is why do l feel like I'm the one responsible? I thought our relationship was close enough that she could talk to me about this. How can I convience her she isn't a failure & she should stay in the hospital for a longer period of time?

2006-08-12 13:24:53 · 20 answers · asked by pmz 2 in Family & Relationships Other - Family & Relationships

20 answers

Why wouldn't you feel that way? Of course as a mother you would feel responsible. That is ours, as a Mother,a way of dealing with the way things happen in this world to our children. We need to see that our children are okay. Why do you feel responsible??? Whatever your part in this, I'm not getting that u r responsible, but I understand your feelings of guilt...your dtr. is her own person & chose her own temp. future. You are now here to see her through the hard times & "be there for her" If u thought ur relationship was close before, wait until after this passes, u will be so much closer! U as a mother cannot convince her she is not a failure, she needs that from within & her peers-not mommy like it or not-let her figure it out on her own,with ur support of course! let me know...

2006-08-12 13:49:49 · answer #1 · answered by cameo 2 · 0 0

Firstly you are not to blame as adults we all are responsible for our own decisions write or wrong. As a parent we don't want to see our children suffer but often times we do because they are learning the hard way, which at times we must all do. So don't beat yourself up over this you are no good to her if you do. Offer her support a parents love don't critisize her mistake or her husbands building resentment will not help the healing. Instead let her know what a wonderful person she is and that she has alot to offer the right man when he comes along and to be patient it only took my 2nd husband 2 divorces to find me and together we are very happy and she will be too. She will need professional help to get through this and offer what help you can but remember she is an adult and the soul person responsible for her own actions. I pray she will get through this ok. Good luck.

2006-08-12 13:37:38 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

I Think alot of the advice you have received here is quite varied so far. so be careful which you take.

but here is my advice:-

- the best thing you can do is firstly not blame yourself. if you start doing that then it will affect your behaviour and indirectly your attitude towards her. you need to be positive and confident that you are a good mother. just because she has not told you how she feels - does not mean she is cclose to you. love is a very strange feeling as the good is absolutely amazing and yet the bad can be worse than rockbottom. so understand that feelings of love need to be treated differently as they are an exception to the general rule.

as for your daughter - she may not want to talk. she probably feels embarassed that she has got herself into such a situation. but you need to show her that you are her ROCK that you will support her and help her. reassure her. don't pertend you know how she feels but explain that if she ever wants to talk you are there. sometimes such simple things are so overlooked in times of need.

but be firm - tell her you care for her and love her. and though she may disagree with certain things you do -she should stay in hospital and receive the care and help she needs.

focus on the positive aspects of her life - even though it might be hard to dig up you can eventually find them and she will accept them. she will need you now more than ever before so don't give up.

but most of all - don't give up on urself - this is your biggest challenge and after this your bond between the two will be far closer than you ever imagined.

2006-08-12 13:36:49 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

It's not your fault, people often like to blame themselves, I even to do it. Her ex husband probably emotionally abused her or mentally abused her in some way to make her feel that way. All you can do for her is be there for her, keep telling her she isn't a failure and that you love her very much. Tell her that you really want her to be happy and to get help and it would mean so much to you, maybe she will reconsider staying a little longer. I hope everything gets better for the both of you, God Bless You both!

2006-08-12 13:32:57 · answer #4 · answered by rulerofvenus21 2 · 0 0

first I'm sorry to hear of your painful situation. Your daughter and you will be in my prayers. I think as a mother I would feel similar to what you are now feeling... somehow responsible , questioning why she didn't or felt she couldn't reach out to you.When a person reaches the point of darkness and hopelessness your daughter reached it is not the answers she couldn't find outside of herself that drew her to this act. It was the lack of ability to find the answers inside of herself. There is light at the end of the tunnel. She has lived!!! Her attempt was not successful count that as a blessing. With good care and a watchful family and friends she can move through this darkness. I encourage you to look in your local yellow pages and seek support for yourself through a suicide crisis support . the hospital staff should be able to guide you as you move through this darkness in convincing her what is in her best interest to regain her mental health.. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your daughter. Love to you both.

2006-08-12 13:38:47 · answer #5 · answered by Brains & Beauty 6 · 0 0

Just be there for her...this is obviously a cry out that she's not happy with her life, it's not your fault...I would definitely stay with her until this passes if at all possible...Healing takes time, and she's not dealing with her emotions the correct way, so you or someone needs to be there to show her the right way...suicide is a permenent solution for usually a temporary problem...God bless you and her

2006-08-12 13:30:44 · answer #6 · answered by yoohoosusie 5 · 0 0

in case you incredibly wanted to die, you will have been able to finding a great way by utilising now. heavily, how no longer person-friendly is it to leap in front of a convention it incredibly is going 70mph or speedier (or another the two effectual potential of death)? i will assure you, you will no longer finally end up in a coma, nor be committed to the psych ward for 30 days. situation is, women normally do no longer decide for to surely kill themselves, and the certainty which you have assorted failed suicide tries proves this. i do no longer care which you have been in 2 comas and interior the ICU... you will have been ineffective by utilising now in case you wanted to die. So, get some help... shop taking the meds they prescribed you, shop seeing a counselor, etc. Make some existence targets that look available. artwork in the direction of them. discover some thing to stay for. Ditch any damaging people around you that drag you down. Or in spite of the fact that your difficulty is. do exactly some thing to restoration it and supply up 'attempting suicide'. EDIT: I basically observed your username... a minimum of attempt to get greater useful to your daughter, please.

2016-11-04 11:18:20 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0 0

It is awful when the person you love is lost and confuse and you feel responsible and can't do much. Here is what you need to do. Tell her your there for her. She needs your support. Say you love her give her hugs. Remind her why she is special. It's not her fault some jerk dumped her. Hope everything is alright with your daughter.

2006-08-12 13:29:35 · answer #8 · answered by Jason 3 · 1 0

I do not know your daughter but she is not a failure because her husband divorced her. Just continue to love and support your daughter no matter what.

2006-08-12 13:32:09 · answer #9 · answered by maxunn1234 2 · 0 0

its not your fault at all...just talk with her, and ask her to stay in the hospital for herself...that suicide is not the answer to any question...that it is a quick and irrational decision..that only leaves behind ppl who truly love and care about her...and that she doesn't know what tomorrow holds..that she could find true love...but if she kills herself, then she wont get to experience any of the things that could happen.

2006-08-12 13:42:17 · answer #10 · answered by ? 4 · 0 0

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