should i leave my husband of 2 yrs, been together for 7 yrs with two kids?

Question

i love my husband but the man needs to grow up....just about everything that goes on with us he needs his mom approval....his mom already treats him like **** and and she tries to treat me the same way....this guy has us living with his mom becasue he had me thinking that we had a place to go after we let go of the house my parents were renting out since i was 12....now im in this damn women house who wont talk to me and she dont even talk to her grandchildren that much....i tell him this crying and everything and he cant even be man enough to tell his mom or attempt to try to get all of us together...im always nice to her though, ikeep her house clean and i speak and we pay our part i dont know what the problem is.....its more to this but i dont have enough space and you wouldnt want to read all of it lol this is long already

Answer 1

Tell him again, this time not crying but serious," I do not want to live here any longer, get with the program and get us out of here or I will leave myself." Sounds like he is a moma's boy, Just be ready because he might let you go. Good luck.

Answer 2

OK, as a counselor, I can answer this question fairly well. My sister was in a relationship with my nephew's father. They were going to get married, and he was a real Momma's boy. Before it went too far, once they moved in together, he would leave work, 2 miles away from where they lived, and go an additional 8 miles to bud his mother goodnight. He was 27! She dropped him.

When a guy is so close to his mother, you become a distractor. You will always be third in the equation, and three people within a couple is one too many people...unless ALL are in agreement that this is what they all want.

You have the option to teach his mother how you want to be treated. If she does not know, that is the way it should be. He may have had you thinking that you had a place to go after you left your parents' house, but he does not have you thinking that anymore! You may not be in an easy situation, but with a clear mind, suc is the case. He may not change. Maybe you need to leave. If he's got no courage, you may need to instill that in him by leaving the situation (not necessarily him, but the situation). If you stay in that situation, things will not change. The problem is not you. It is between him and her. You must remove yourself from that. Not easy, as I said, but healthier for you, and for your children. And thinking that you don't want to take the children away for their sake (not that this is the case) would be ludicrous, as they only become a way to keep you from moving forward and being true to yourself. They need strong parents to model themselves after. If you're despondent, and he's weak, and the grandmother is not interested in them, all three of you are hurting them. If you leave the relationship (which does not mean divorcing and leaving your husband necessarily), they will at least have someone to rely on. What do you think?

Answer 3

This is unsatisfactory, plain and simple. He married you, not his mom. Yet he chooses to put his mom first.
I say you need to let him know exactly how you feel. Let him know that you won't tolerate be made to feel second fiddle to his mom anymore. If he comes around, and realizes the error of his ways - then you two can come to an agreement together, and then get away from the mother. I doubt she is going to be happy with any agreement you and her son make, as it seems she probably has some serious dependency issues and needs to seek counseling. Your husband should also seek counseling, so that he may learn how his relationship with his mother is not normal, and not healthy for anyone involved - especially your children.
If he decided to do nothing, and is unwilling to put you, your marriage, and your children first - then it is time that you do it yourself, and pack your bags. Would you want your children thinking this is a normal relationship - well, by accepting it, that is basically what you are telling them.

Answer 4

If your marriage is worth saving,then have a heart to heart serious talk with your husband and tell him the way you feel, and/or give him the ultimate choice; his mom or you and only give him 24 hrs to reply at most. You will have to be able to back this up if he calls your bluff. The other side is to continue the way things are and just keepgoing. If you decide to leave just make sure hes knows that you and the kids are going to sue him for everything you are legally entitled. I have a similar situation but my mil lives withus but I let it go on too long and dont want to lose my wife and family so I just hope my mil passes on soon. If you need more assistance, please feel free to email me

Answer 5

Obviously living with your mother in law isn't very healthy for your marriage or your family. Talk to your husband about how you feel and start looking for a place to live. He has to understand that you can't deal with living the way you are living and that you want to have your own family and not be living with his mom. He needs to know you are serious about moving - so offer to start looking for a job and a place to rent.

Answer 6

Its time to pack your things and go, Girl! The warning signs are all over.

I know its tough but you've wasted enough time already. And it certainly wouldnt do you any good to keep on holding unto something which really isnt there in the first place.

....Take heart, been there, done that... And I've never been better.

Answer 7

I would leave if he wouldn't make his mom treat me right. However when your living in her house you have to kind of suck it up. But I would get a job and get the hell out and leave his *** stuck up under mommy. Tell that momma's boy to take a hike and get a real man that can take care of his own business. He doesn't have to live with momma and he can pull his own weight. Good luck.

Answer 8

Leave and collect child support. You are married to a guy who is still married to his mommy. She has not yet shown him how to be a real man. He is more afraid of the responsibility of being your husband than he cares about you.
Think about your kids first. They live what they learn, and what kind of example is this to them? Do you want them to think that this is how normal, responsible adults live?
get put of there FAST!
If he won't step up, then dump him. Require more from your partenrs and yourself. Raise your standards...Find a partner that you can brag about, not figure out how to deal with on Yahoo Answers.....

Answer 9

It sounds like it would benefit you, your husband, your relationship, and your kids to get out of there. Work together to find other options before you think about leaving him. If he still doesn't make an effort to do better by you and your family, it may be time to leave.

Answer 10

Give him an ultimatum to develop a plan to move out or else let him now you are leaving without him. Just like any family situation you have over stayed your welcome and it's time to go. He can choose is mamma or his wife that up to him. However you have to , you must get on with your life and that of your kids.