I have alot of trouble meeting people and making friends, what is wrong with me?

Question

Whenever my parents tell me to go to youth group or go meet kids my age and hang out with them, I find it extremly difficult. I hate being around kids my age and I hate having to talk to them and be in the same room with them. I prefer hanging with the adults, I don't know why, and the adults treat me like a child. So therefore I can't even hang around the adults because.

Is this a specific disorder? I know it's not Anti-Social disorder because I've already looked that up. I do have OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) But I don't think my hatred for people my age is related to that. Way before puberty I was never like this, but gradually it started building up and now I just don't associate with anybody except my family and one friend.

Maybe it has to due with the fact that, when I was with kids they didn't treat me right or discluded me from their little "groups" and I got bullied quite a bit when I was younger. Please, do help me. Sorry I wrote so much.

Answer 1

First of all, you need to rid yourself from the inferiority complex. You need to do some confidence building and start getting out with your peer group.

Answer 2

I can relate to this question because I am a lot like you. I have never related to my peer group when I was growing up and didn't like being around adults that much either for the same reason that you stated. The adults also didn't take me seriously either even though I could hold an adult conversation with them.

So what I started doing was to find people with similar interests and this helped tremendously. I had the freedom to be with them and to not be with them.I am a loner pretty much but in a good way. It is not hard for me to entertain my own self and I really have no need to be around people that much. I have plenty of interests to keep me occupied.

I think that you do not have to expect that much from yourself and that you are quite normal. Don't push yourself to fit in with others or be something you are not designed to be. Just be yourself and do your thing. Don't try to make friends if it is too much stress for you just visit places where people hang out and show yourself friendly without putting yourself through any changes. Just smile ,be nice, talk or don't talk to people. No pressure. Observe what people are doing or interested in and make a comment or not. You know, just be cool! People will either engage you in conversation or they won't. Somebody will show themselves friendly if you are friendly in return.

Answer 3

There is nothing wrong with you or how you feel about people your own age. You are like me, actually. Too mature for your peers, but not quite an equal to a full fledged adult. What you need to find is older friends that are not quite adults. I don't know your exact age, but you will find that the more reserved people tend to be more mature. Those kind of people might be hard to 'find' because they don't do things that others might.
THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU.
As for the adults . . . they don't know how to act around someone such as yourself, so, you get the boot. Adults can be less mature also. But you must decide. got to a place you feel most comfortable(not your house!) go there on a regular basis so you start to feel comfortable enough to say hi and take note of the regulars. You will definitely find someone that you have a common interest with.
The best part about it, you can start your own group.

Answer 4

I don't know how to help you really, I was similar when I was younger and it is still a problem making friends. I feel the odd one out because I think family is important and being a good person, while others feel loving themselves and doing things that might hurt or injure others is more fun. I don't mind drinking but I don't care to be drunk. I don't mine mild sex talk but not like filth. I don't do illegal drugs or wife swapping. So I am left out pretty much.

I guess the only thing I would advise is perhaps join clubs that interest you, and trying to make friends based on shared interests. Such as an art, photography, chess, astrology,ect, clubs.

I don't believe you or I are that odd, I have observed that people call others friends when no relationship exists, except for a brief sharing of the usual weather chit chat.

Answer 5

It's ok Bro. I'm grown now but I had a similar experience when I was in Middle school. I don't know much about that disorder, but it may freak people out a little if they can tell by looking at you. Also, you're probably very mature for your age. I would advise you to try and treat people as individuals no matter what age they are, don't judge the future by the past, and be more outgoing; socialize with all kinds of people.

Answer 6

You know, I had the same problem. I stopped hanging out with people of my own age when I was in school. Obviously, adults treated me as a child then. When I finished school, I was smart and grown-up enough to make a lot of friends with old people. It went really well, and I felt at ease when communicating with people much older with me. I understood them, and they understood me. And then suddenly the whole thing cleared up. I just used the same communication skills with people of all ages, and everything was great! A lot of years passed, and now I am close to forgetting the problems I had like a bad dream.

Try to be social. Be confident that you are a winner, and that you know how to deal with all problems perfectly. You know what a perfect guy would do in your place, don't you?

Answer 7

To answer your initial question - there's probably nothing wrong with you. It sounds like you're still figuring out where you fit into the grand scheme of things socially. You're probably a bit more mature then the people your own age. I suggest that you try some different things in your area. Go to a rock climbing class or a photography class or something like that. You would meet people of all ages and get yourself out of you current social situation.

I had a similar situation to yours in high school. I still don't like most of the people that I knew and high school was some years ago for me. Things improve greatly in college and into adulthood but you should enjoy yourself now. Try not to worry so much about fitting in and concentrate on just getting through with the best grades possible. You'll have a lot better time in college - I promise.

Answer 8

Don't try to push to hard. You will meet friends in time. Allow your self to be OK without friends for a while, then try to join a nice club and find something that you are interested in and other people are interested in the same thing. This way you'll have much to talk about, then you'll find it easy to let friendship in. Also, maybe you might want to see a Doctor to get on something for your nerves.I hope this helps you out.

Answer 9

Heck child, stop appologising for who you are!

You don't need affirmation of your lifestyle choices from a bunch of no-hopers like us, get out there and have some fun with whoever you choose.
Live for the moment and become happier with yourself every day.
Take chances to build up the trust you have in yourself.

If you choose to be a victim, then nobody can help you.
If you choose to be a survivor, you don't need anybodies help.
Take care.xxxxx

Answer 10

hey. it's nothing horrible if you just don't like to hang out with people. but you can find people with the same interests as you by hanging out at places you love. do you like reading? hang out at borders. ask the guy standing next to you about the book he picked out? has he read the same one as you? if you are interested in making friends, you have to make an effort to care about other people and not focus on yourself. maybe you don't make friends easily because people think you are insecure. try saying hi to someboy you know next time you see them or holding the door open for a girl when you go to church.

Answer 11

okay, if you think that you have a social problem, then im sure talking to people makes you nervous because you know you aren't doing so well in the social area. just try not to think about it and dont let it bother you. after you make a few friends it will get easier and easier. be confident and people wont make fun of you. if you lack confidence in yourself people will notice, and that opens you up to bullying and teasing