How do I respond?

Question

I really do not understand how to respond to my husband's way of talking to me. Whenever he wants to commit something that involves money he said that he does not need my approval. He just need to inform me and I have nothing to say to that. We are both working professional and the credit card bills are making worried sick. I don't feel good at all with his attitude and that very often he has been very careless and not think before spending. Please can someone give me some advice.. Just a month back he has betrayed me by seeing and having contacts wit other women although he said he was not looking for sex. I am still feeling depress at times....Help

Answer 1

You teach people how to treat you. He will continue to do this as long as you continue to put up with it. If you both work just withdraw your money from that which he has access too. Cancel any joint cards or accounts and open your own. When he pitches a fit tell him tough, you made it impossible for me to talk to you about it so YOU left me no choice. Especially if he's doing whatever with other women, do you really want your money being spent on them? Besides you better start preparing for when this marriage falls apart because its headed that way and if he refuses to negotiate he is forcing it in to a ditch. Its a control game, don't play and don't allow yourself to be controlled that way. You earn your own money, use it! He doesn't treat anything like its yours so why should you treat your money as though its his?

Answer 2

From your point of view, what do you think these actions of his could mean? Do you think he is acting like a normal, loving husband? How do you want to proceed?

A little sage advice: Start a savings or checking account (in your name only) at another bank. Don't automatically turn your paycheck over to him. Put some into this secret account so you will have something to fall back on. If he wants to know why you won't deposit your check into his account, just tell him you don't need his approval, you are just informing him. Its time to stand up to him and his controlling ways.

He will not like it, be prepared for a battle. Just stand your ground and don't let him talk down to you. You know that he is going to drag your credit into the gutter along with his. Put a stop to his flagrant spending or tell him he is on his own. He will not get your money to throw around.

You really need to consider getting away from him. He is showing that there is no respect for you. He was seeing other women. No wonder you feel depressed! Your best bet for a happy life is to get away from him. He is going to always try and control you with money or flaunt other women in front of you.

Answer 3

Dear Depressed
This guy is an asshole in desperate need of learning what the word marriage means. For starters sharing ones life also means sharing all things equally between each other. Like love, honesty, and all that other crap. Now the most important thing of any marriage is $$$$ it helps or destroys especially when one is selfish and unwise and doesn't seek approval from the other. We all work and like to enjoy the fruits of our labor but the best fruit is a sharing relationship. So in short you both should seek counsoling or dump the jerk and find a better man since he is already looking for a better woman ( this is not intended to put you down because he obviously doesn't realize he has the best woman he could hope for--good luck)

Answer 4

you have 2 way:first helping him.2nd:struggle with him and stay againts him.in the firs way try to talk wiyh him about saving money for the day you may need .or the money for emergency cases,or the pleasure of saving so that when he save many money at the end he can bye better thing instead of these not important things,or leading him to a doctor or proffesional.2nd:if the first doesnt answer,stop working and tell him if you are spending alone ,earn alone too.and at the end of the month pay his bills lonely.and for the second problem,be opptimistic,first make sure then tell him,but believe that all men are always looking for sex with differnt girls,but neccesarily doesnt mean that they hate their wife

Answer 5

If you are both working and both paying the bills then you should both be making decisions together about how to spend your money. It sounds like you could both benefit from marriage counseling, especially since you know he is already seeking out other women for companionship.
Talk to him about how you feel and try to straighten things out. Suggest counseling and start trying to move your marriage into a more positive direction.

Answer 6

set up another account and save up then leave him. you can never solve enough of others' problems. you can't help him unless he wants to help himself. besides, if he is doing anything unfaithful, he is not letting you have a say anyway. i hope your profession is not accountant. enough big corporate collapses.

Answer 7

He is a jerk. Hire a PI, with the evidence, get a divorce.

Answer 8

U REALLY NEED TO GET OUT OF THIS MARRIAGE OR SEEK HELP FOR BOTH OF U

Answer 9

u have every say in everything from money to other women, i'd be checking him out and seeing what he is hiding.