I tried explaining to my boyfriend that we rarely passionately kiss, it's always pecks and I'm tired of it. He said it's not me, he just doesnt think about it. We got into a big fight about it because he said it's my problem and if he doesnt think about it like when we're watching a movie or cuddling then I should remind him. He says I should be doing something about it. I disagree and think he should be doing something about it. I tried to express to him how unhappy I am because of this and I feel that if he wanted to make me happy he would just do something about it on his own to make it better. If I already expressed my issue and I feel he's not doing something that makes me happy, shouldn't it be up to him to take action and be more involved and more attentive to the issue? Or is it up to me to remind him to passionately kiss me if he's not thinking about it?
2006-08-12 10:13:57 · 30 answers · asked by vane7997 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
sounds like you should find someone that likes to kiss... I would dump him.
2006-08-12 10:17:16 · answer #1 · answered by Guzzy 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
so you are going to fight him about it, be mean and nasty and unapproachable until he loves you, that is so American. Why don't you make love to him, give him the big hugs and kisses and do nice stuff for him. Men want to please there women and want to feel appreciated. We are also stupid enough to love somebody back, like a mutt would. The only thing that could go wrong, if you try loving him up, is if you have already been so bitchy for so long that he views your advances with mistrust, wondering what you are setting him up for. Nope you just stay upset and angry, some other woman will likely smile at him soon and get him to smile back, You are absolutely right, it is all his fault. Why should you be nice to him, he doesn't deserve it. The idea of nagging for a kiss is ridiculous beyond words, that is just dumb. start doing nice things, even just a little, It is your relationship, he can always find another woman, the world is full of them, just look around. Especially if he works in an office environment. But don't worry, when you have driven him off you can tell all your single girl friends about what a fool he was.
2006-08-12 10:30:20 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
it's NOT up to you. been there, done that. you need to cut him off to make your point. stop cuddling with him, stop initiating the kisses, etc., then when he finally DOES notice, probably after about a week or maybe even two, he'll more than likely be the one to initiate the kiss or the cuddle, and if it's not up to your needs, remind him once more. if he doesn't deliver, then it's time you started seriously considering just how much of your life you want to "devote" to this relationship. if he can't deliver, and you're the only one who does, then it's a pretty much one-sided love affair. if you want that, then stay. if not, (and i believe everyone deserves an equal relationship, where each partner gives as much as they take in the relationship) then give him his walking papers. you're too valuable to waste your life on someone who doesn't appreciate you.
2006-08-12 10:15:26 · answer #3 · answered by vrandolph62 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Movie and a passionate kiss is more unreal than dinner and a movie. Passion takes some serious cuddling. I can only suggest you keep your passionate moments in the bedroom with no TV or any other distraction.
2006-08-12 10:28:56 · answer #4 · answered by echiasso 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he doesn't know how to kiss passionately. Or maybe he just isn't passionate. Or maybe he doesn't feel passionately towards you. Not to sound mean. He sounds like a bore. Maybe you should find someone else to feel that passion. You can't make someone kiss you passionately. It just happens. It's either there or it isn't. Hope things work out for you. It's not much fun without the passion. I hope you find it.
2006-08-12 10:18:38 · answer #5 · answered by NORTH WEST 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
What a earth shattering problem!! The fact is if he were passionate about you, he would naturally kiss you passionately. Seems as though he isn't. Plus, he just might want to watch the movie. Most people do. Leave the smooches till after.
Chow!!
2006-08-12 10:19:19 · answer #6 · answered by No one 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's a two way street. If he cares about you, he will want to make you happy, prompting him to kiss you as you've specified.
Conversely, if you care about him, you will see it's a bit selfish to expect him to change to "make you happy". If you're the one with the problem, you act to fix it. It's like him getting mad at you because you never come up and spontaneously give him passionate oral sex. Would you try to remember this for him and not wait until asked?
Kiss him if you want a kiss.
2006-08-12 10:19:56 · answer #7 · answered by mightyart 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No, it's not up to you to remind him! Your boyfriend is either a closet homosexual or just lame. Find another one. I'm serious, he might be a nice guy but without the physical side, what's the point of being in a committed relationship?
2006-08-12 10:20:57 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I just exited a relationship where there were actual restrictions on touching and intimacy. Its amazing what we will lie to ourselves about when we love someone. You can't wait around for someone to catch up to your passion. You know what you can and cannot live with...just remember that life is short and there are plenty of people who will nurture these parts of you that you so rightfully deserve.
2006-08-12 10:25:29 · answer #9 · answered by aimee c 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you two are friends and don't know it.
Is the sex passionate? It may be a sign of a more significant
problem in the relationship.
That he thinks its up to YOU is not good either. However,
I am concerned that it doesn't happen spontaneously.
2006-08-12 10:16:54 · answer #10 · answered by Elana 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Boys are not really into these stuff as much as we are, unless they are gay (no offense). other than that it is in their nature not to care about the way a relationship is going. Now ... you can either emphases that these stuff are important for you in a relationship or you can just leave it and not care. Its up to you to make the choice.
2006-08-12 10:18:50 · answer #11 · answered by Know it all 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋