My husband keeps asking me if I love him. I do Love him wouldn't want nothing to happen to him, be htere for him. But if he were to ask me if I am IN Love with him I would have to say NO.
2006-08-12 08:26:51 · 23 answers · asked by dori_619 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
adding to the info. Sex isn't the same 11yrs of marriage, 3 kids later ,and he says he loves me but actions speak loader than words and I definitly don't want to hear his verbal abuse. I want my heart to pitter patter when I see him but he has managed to have shattered it through out the years. He has to bargin with me to give him sex which should be making LOVE . I am seriously looking into divorce. Should I???
2006-08-12 08:49:43 · update #1
My husband just left me this week after 5 years of dating, and one month of marriage, because he said he "loves me but isn't in love with me". I found out two days later that I'm pregnant.
I love him and am in love with him still, which will probably fix later. I think being in love with someone means that you view them as your better half and you want them to always be there, even if it's hard sometimes, and even if something happens that should make you hate them.
2006-08-12 08:32:21 · answer #1 · answered by all_the_answers 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is most definitely a difference. Loving someone means you care about them, care about their welfare, their happiness. You can love your best friend or your sister. Being IN love with someone is something entirely different, but I'm not sure I have the words to describe it. But it has a lot to do with chemicals, really. It's like a high, and it's addicting. But I know how you feel. I've been there done that. I've been in and out of love with my husband over the years. I think that's very normal, actually.
2006-08-12 15:32:32 · answer #2 · answered by I'm just me 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have read that we fall in and out of love with spouses continuously, I think they said it occurs in 2 year cycles but don't hold me to it.
If you are in one of those troughs, the question is how badly do you and he want to pull through it. If you do love each other and have kids and generally respect each other, I think you owe it to your family to give it a shot.
I have been through a couple of these periods where the spark just isn't there. Sometimes I think external factors have also caused the unhappiness which then gets projected on those closest to us. I am glad we continue to work through the bad times. I hope she feels the same.
2006-08-14 20:07:28 · answer #3 · answered by kjbroom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK...you answered your own question. Your feelings of passionate love are no longer for your husband. You "care" about his well-being. I'd say you should do you both a favor and let him find someone else who will really be "in love" with him. You know the difference....you cant' think of anyone else, you're always wondering where that person is and feel incomplete without him. If you don't feel that way, let him go.
2006-08-12 15:30:54 · answer #4 · answered by Sassy OLD Broad 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Loving someone could either mean having a BIG crush on someone, or a different kind of love. Like sibling-sibling love, parent-child love, master-pet love, and a million different ones.
Being IN love usually means in the romantic sence. This usually means that a couple both has a crush on each other, and / or they are going out.
2006-08-12 15:31:02 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Loving someone: - gettin to know the person, starting to like something about him - his attitude, personality, etc. and finally being deeply attached to him BECAUSE of these qualities; and maybe also because he doesnt have certain qualities you don't approve of - smoking, etc.
In love with someone: - total unconditional love whatever his attitude is, IRRESPECTIVE of his likes/dislikes, behavior, etc.
If you are sensible, you should love someone, not be in love... being in love can cause a lot of hurt if it isnt a two way thing
2006-08-12 15:49:30 · answer #6 · answered by babydoll 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think being in love is romantic love, while loving someone is more platonic.
You still care for them deeply (possibly even deeper than romantic love), but it's not that sweeping "must touch you now!" kinda love.
Loving someone is the basis for a good solid relationship, but there should be at least some romantic love in there somewhere.
Or at least, this is what I think.
2006-08-12 15:32:30 · answer #7 · answered by mikah_smiles 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
.....and that's why he's asking; he can sense that.
Men do not want a wife who chooses to love them, they want a wife that they have won their heart. How boring and depressing is that, for both of you?
Men need an adventure, a quest, and women need men to bring them alongside that quest, and men want women who couldn't imagine a more fitting person to take them on that quest.
Basically, your love for him right now is worth about as much to him as the love of a sister, and that's not what he is looking for in a wife. Maybe you're ok with that as a wife, but he's certainly not ok with it as a husband. Unless you want either of you to end up comforting yourselves in another person's arms (if it hasn't already happened), you need to recapture the magic. Now.
2006-08-12 15:32:48 · answer #8 · answered by You'll Never Outfox the Fox 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Loving someone is an act (actually, a series of acts) of service done for that person. Being in love with someone is an emotional infatuation. May God bless and keep you.
2006-08-12 15:29:41 · answer #9 · answered by blowry007 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well if you love someone it's like you love them as your best friend or your family or your pet or something. but when you're in love with someone its when you know they are the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. if you aren't in love with your husband then its not fair for you to stay with him, because both of you could find other people that you'll fall in love with. and i think maybe you just love him as a best friend.
2006-08-12 15:31:14 · answer #10 · answered by cstr81190 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋