(I'm 17 and she's 16 but only because my birthday was yesterday. She turns 17 in 3 weeks.)
I've been with the same beautiful, wonderful girl for four years now -we were friends in preschool and started dating at 13- but now she wants to have sex and I'm not sure about it.
I guess it's not a typical guy thing but I'm really happy to just snuggle on a couch and go to movies and the beach and stuff. We french kiss a lot and I really love her but I think I want to wait. The first time only happens once and I want to make sure I'm ready.
Then yesterday she said she wanted to give me oral but I said no, I didn't want her to and she gave me this really weird look but said okay.
Am I being a sissy about this? Should I go out and get some condoms and do what she wants me to do?
I don't think our relationship is in danger but this has been straining it lately.
2006-08-12 08:04:35 · 29 answers · asked by micky_baxter 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Other - Society & Culture
I think you are being manly. The sex act is sacred and belongs within the confines of marriage. To rush it is to degrade it and each other. You need to talk to her about how you feel about sex and about her. And as serious as you are about each other it wouldn't hurt to go talk with your pastor about the benefits of waiting for marriage. Sex outside of marriage breaks the trust of marriage. And breaks something of the wonder and beauty of getting to know each other that way in a fully committed relationship.
You may be rare, but you are no sissy. Stick by your instincts on this one. You may be one of the few real men left.
2006-08-12 08:12:01 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
We the surfers of cyber world meet with so many people every day. Surfing the net is the best pastime one can ever develop, as internet has the most knowledge, a surfer will never have to wait for a answer. The vast knowledge of cyber world is nothing as compared to the cyber society that it gives. Internet is a community but so vast that we need a place to make conversation easy. What more can be better than a chat room for this purpose, well a chat room and a message board along with a forum is the best combination really. I was actually looking for a place where we can find all these things with a profile and photo brouse option. Finally I got this site, this place is a very nice community where we can share every thing online. And also about the leader board, I must tell it is great. The thought of the leader board is unique, as not to many people has thought about this thing. And the method of getting the leader is very different and one must check out this site once. The cyber culture is growing, and it is about time that we find our club and that to a very different club, which is not a part of any big website house like the yahoo and google. This site am talking about has every thing that a cyber surfer ever wants. This is the website address, http://www.friendscyberclub.com/ Features of this site is: 1) chatting 2) view profiles and photos 3) upload your photos and make a cool profile. 4) your message board 5) forum 6) See your name on the leader board. There are also many more features available in the site, free to join.
2006-08-12 22:47:25 · answer #2 · answered by traffic to website, earn money, 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're not being a sissy. You are using much more common sense and restraint than the majority of guys your age.
Girls have become so much more the aggressor in the past few years. Don't do anything that you aren't sure you're ready to do.
Talk to her about why she's in such a hurry, and explain why you're not. Whether it's because of respect for her, fear of pregnancy - just good moral values - wanting to wait til marriage.
ANY reason that makes you feel you're not ready is reason enough not to have sex. Once you do - you can't undo it.
Good luck.
2006-08-12 08:20:38 · answer #3 · answered by kids and cats 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
from what I remember from being a kid its more typical for this to be the other way around.
you have to make the choice, if you want to go for it, if you don't, then don't.
either way, make sure she is on the pill and you use a condom. the two together and you shouldn't have any problems with baby's or STD's
just know no mater what you do there is always still a possibility of her becoming prego, just an FYI
only the two of you can make this decision. just be smart and safe when ever you want to and you will be good.
most tell ya though, its great lol you think jerkin off is good, just wait, that's nothing lol
2006-08-12 08:14:53 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to her. Tell her you want to wait. Tell her you love her and don't want to ruin what you have by starting to have sex. Let me tell you, it does change the relationship. I was in the same boat once, I was 17 and he was 16. After giving it up, we might as well have gotten married right then because I felt as though I belonged to him. We did end up getting married but I have always regretted that we did it in the wrong order. We HAD friends that thought we were getting married just because I was pregant and they never realized how much we really loved each other. If it is true love you can wait, tell her that much. Make sure she knows that it isn't because you wouldn't like it.. just that you are not ready to cross that bridge yet. It sounds like you are being very mature and I'm proud of you!
2006-08-12 08:14:36 · answer #5 · answered by isellpc 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Your old enough to make your own decisions and you should just tell her how you feel and your not ready yet. If she really loves you then she will except this.I think your making a wise decision myself. Maybe she feels it's time because her friends have done it already or she is curious. Her hormones maybe running wild but do talk about this so your both on the same page of understanding each other and maybe compromise.
2006-08-12 08:14:32 · answer #6 · answered by Linda R 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your ages aren't a concern. It's best to communicate how you feel about sex. Waiting isn't a bad thing. Neither is oral. Make sure you use protection though. STD's and unexpected pregnancies are things I'm sure things you don't want to deal with. Just be open and honest.
2006-08-12 09:16:11 · answer #7 · answered by d2c3p0 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust me you need to wait till you are both at least 19 or 20 to be having sex. You want to be sure she is the right one. If you are having doubts about it don't do it please wait. There is a reason some people save it for marriage. You don't want to be giving yourself this soon. She will respect you for not wanting to untill your ready. Waiting is hard but the right thing to do. You don't want to regret something that is suposto be special. Plus there is the added stress of pregnancy even when you use a condom or birth control there is still a slim chance of pregnancy and STD'S.
2006-08-12 08:17:14 · answer #8 · answered by pinkbunnylol 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Don't do anything you don't want to do. This is the most important thing.
Just take it slow. Sex is not just about the actual act of penetration. Just talk with her about it and tell her that you are not ready. Just experiment a little. Do a little more than just kissing when the mood is right. Don't push it, just see how it feels and take it easy.
Little steps. And everything before the actual act can be just as good.
2006-08-12 08:11:37 · answer #9 · answered by stella maris 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Personally, I believe in waiting for marriage. I'm 18, and I'm saving myself for my husband... I think it shows respect for your future spouse to wait for them.
The fact that you are asking yourself this, rather than just jumping into it, shows that you obviously respect yourself and those you love. As far as I see it, your relationship has lasted this long... you don't need to add sex to the mix now. We live in a world that tells us "just do it", but I think waiting can be a positive thing in a relationship; it allows you to focus on other aspects of your relationship.
It's ultimately your choice... I just hope you don't get pressured into something you're not ready for. You obviously love this girl a lot. You'll find other ways to show her. Best of luck, with whatever you decide!
2006-08-12 08:18:49 · answer #10 · answered by Phoenix Lumbre 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋