My husband passed away in May of this year, after 47 years of being married, I feel so lost with out him.?

Question

The phone calls have stopped, the email also and letters. I only have my cat here with me. all family members except my younger son is here in the same town. He call 2 X a week and comes over every 3 weeks. I am not in good health myself, so I can't just get out and about the way most people can. I am still crying but not as much as I was. I don't know where to turn or even what to do, We spent so much time together and now I am alone and feel empty inside and so very lost. My heart is so very empty, and the nights and weekend are so very lonely. I find it so hard to even eat my diiner at the table any longer. We use to eat and just sit and talk for so very long, now he is gone and I am lost. Where do I go from here. No one can seem to answer this question.

Answer 1

I am terribly sorry for your loss.
Try getting a part time job. Get yourself out of the house for a few hours each day.
Or, you can volunteer your time somewhere. Your hospital, your local shelter, or soup kitchen. They can always use the help, and would appreciate a friendly face.
You will feel better, and move on, but you will always love him and miss him. It will just get a bit easier.
Remember, time heals all wounds, but they will leave a scar.

Answer 2

I can't tell you whre to go from here, either. I feel very sorry for you -- I can't even begin to imagine what you must be going through -- my partner and I have been together just over a year, and if I lost him, I'd be going crazy -- after forty-seven years, I think I'd be absolutely insane.

I have a rule of thumb -- after any relationship ends, for whatever reason -- one should allocate at least one half the duration of the relationship for mourning and healing time. If your husband passed away in May, according my rule of thumb -- you still havew about twenty-three years that you can use to mourn.

I suggest having dinner with friends, rather than alone. Find some activity that you enjoy, and find a group for it -- maybe you enjoy pottery, or cards . . . I'm sure you'll never stop missing your husband -- but, although you're dedicated to him, you still don't have to be alone. Draw support from your friends and family -- that's why they're there.

Answer 3

Goldie, so sorry to hear about your loss. We are going through a grieving process in our home also, step son died at age 25 followed one week later by our foster daughter's mother was killed in accident. Time will heal your pain. I know our children are so busy in their own lives that they put us on the back burner.Do you attend church? I understand that your health is not good, but you need to reach out to someone else be it church or contact hospice, they have group for people dealing with loss of loved one. I understand they will even come to your home. Prayer and God is what is giving us our strength and comfort. God bless you.

Answer 4

I'm so sorry for your loss. It must be really hard for you. You should do something that will help you relax and maybe enjoy..a hobby...like knitting or painting or something like that. Also maybe you should have friends come over to talk (like a get together) once a week or so. I hope this helps somehow.

Answer 5

Dear lady, I hope you can tide over this phase as soon as possible. My only suggestion would be engage yourself in something that takes your mind off these sad thoughts. You could possibly try out a new hobby, go to music classes or take up teaching or anything that occupies your spare time.
God bless you!

Answer 6

I am sorry to hear that..Unfortunately, this is fact of life. Only time will wash off your pian. You will just have to hang in there..

Answer 7

I can't answer it either, but I am so sorry. I am dreading the day something happens to my boyfriend... God I hope it never does...

Answer 8

When I first read your post I felt I needed to respond. I too often think, what will I do or what will happen to me if in similar circumstances such as yours. Actually many people at present may be passing through the deep waters of sorrow. Many may be experiencing the heartache of separation, overwhelmed with a sense of emtiness. Wondering how they will ever cope with the lonely hours that lie ahead and often times feel like giving up. In fact, wishing that it would have them to have passed instead. I often think back to my mother and now I seem to understand what she went through and how she must have felt too after my father passed on.
But you know, friend, that you can triumph over your grief and overcome the hardships that usually follow after losing someone that we love dearly. When we have the privilege of loving another person deeply involves the risk of separation. We cannot love richly without facing this risk.
To comfort you, try to remember the blessings of the past. Reflect with thankfulness to God upon those good times you and your loved one shared together, the golden days when the children were younger and brought you so much delight, and those tender moments which belong to the two of you alone. And yes, even those trials which, although difficult at the time, brought you two closer together. Reminiscing about the past, I know, may cause the tears to flow. But there's nothing wrong with that. In fact, it may very well give you the emotional release you desperately need. Grief is slow work but it needs to be worked through. In accepting the pain and readjusting to living without our loved one, we need to face and deal with our memories and it helps to share these with people we can trust, who care for us. Yes, remember those times you enjoyed with one another and express your gratitude to the Lord for allowing you to walk life's pathway with your husband for as long as you did.
Also be comforted by the fact that your husband is in the presence of Christ in Heaven Your beloved husband was transported to Glory when he passed and now is enjoying the delights of Heaven. Sure, you feel an emptiness in your heart and home and the pain is real right now. But the hurt will be lessened and your burden lightened when you remember the present reality about your husband in glory. Keep in mind that, if we are truly unselfish, we could never wish them back to this sin-cursed world, rather look ahead to the day when you shall join him once more, never again to part. Remember too, that all his struggles are over, no more disappointments, no more pain, all these have been replaced with the wonders of heaven. Also, death does not separate believers forever, the prospect of reunion and everlasting blessedness lies ahead for every person who has been born again through faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. I know that it hurts to lose a loved one and no one can take his place. I know that your world suddenly feels so empty and the ache in your heart is unbearable. But friend, think about that glorious time of reunion, and of an eternity of Heaven's glories that await you in the presence of Christ. You shall see and be with your loved one again, the separation that gives you so much distress now will not last forever.
One of the greatest signs of God's love for us is His comfort to us in times of loss. He surrounds us with grace and mercy to soothe our grief. His love sustains us through to the other side, otherwise we might not ever make it.
The compassion and mercy of the Lord are best seen in the story of Job. He was a Godly, worshiping man who suffered tremendous loss,not the least of which was his family and his health. He had done nothing wrong. He didn't deserve it. Even his friends tried to convince him that these things had happened because he had sinned. But Job knew better. The Lord called him, " a blameless and up-right man, one who feared God and shunned evil" ( Job 1:8).
He could have blamed God, but he didn't. He trusted Him instead. His reaction to his loss was to humble himself and worship God. Job endured that terrible time without wavering in his worship, and his life was eventually restored. The Bible says to, " count them blessed who endure." Through Job's perseverance the end result was God's compassion and mercy. ( James 5:11). No matter what difficult time we go through, there will be a time when life will be good again.
Don't give up in the midst of your loss, friend, or you will miss the greatest miracle of your life. If you praise God through it, you will see something new and good come out of it all. While going through this time in your life, friend, keep praising God, refuse to let your sorrow silence your praise, and you will see how He will sustain you. He will wrok something great in you and your circumstances if you keep close to Him. In your darkest time, God will give you a song in the night ( Job 35:10). It will be a song of worship and praise, and your heart will sing once more. It doesn't matter how terrible or difficult your situation is. Every time you praise God, He will move into the situation to redeem and transform it in some way. Dear friend, I hope this helps you in some way and also note that you are not alone in your suffering. God Bless.