What should I do? I have tried to talk to her and it goes through one ear and out the other?

Question

My sister hooked up with my boyfriends friend(which I didn't know about till months down the line) to be honest I didn't like the ideal but I did not saying anything about it. After coming from a relationship of 5 years because her boyfriend cheated on her. It has been two years and nothing about their relationship is healthy. They argue all the time and he has trust issues because she has done many things in the past to make him think this way. My boyfriend says that I need to leave them alone BUT he is always embrassing her when she is with friends and they are really worried about her. I have spoke to her and let her know that she is a beautiful girl and she does not need to settle for a person that will treat her this way she tells me yea I know and I can't take it anymore and it's over then the next day or two she's back at his house and acts like nothing didn't happen. I am tired of talking to her about the same situation but I don't want to not saying anything and it gets worse

Answer 1

Matters of the heart are areas where people should tread lightly. There is little rational thought. She will not listen to you. She may later say she wished she did. If you've gotten it off your chest once, that's the best you can do. At least she knew how you felt, and won't later say, "Why didn't you tell me he was a jerk?" instead of saying you were right. It's not about being right, but being supportive if necessary.

Answer 2

The only thing you can do is be ready with the Kleenex when she comes crying to you. My baby sister (18) thinks she knows it all. She has the worst taste in guys (worse than me and that's bad bad bad) but she will not listen to anything I tell her. She brings these losers to my house for me to meet but doesn't listen to anything I tell her after she asks me what I think. I know it's hard for you but you have to let her make her own mistakes. I try every day to be there for both of my sisters and that's all anyone can do. I wish my baby sis would look at my life and see all the things not to do. Her life is already on the wrong path as it is. Did I mention I have a 3 year old nephew? Yep and she's 18 now so you do the math. We had the sex talks and everything and she still got a kid. Just love her and be there for her. That's all you can do big sis. Good luck.

Answer 3

I am sorry for your troubles but you have to come with terms that she will not listen to anyone but herself. You are the sister and you love her and thats all you can do. Just be there if she needs you let her know that you are there to talk but that you will not hash over the same old same old. If you keep trying to get her to get out then she might want to get further in, sometimes helping her is worse then just sitting back and waiting for her to ask for help. If they embarrass you at all at functions and at outings, don't invite them to come along. I have been in four marriages and only one of them was good, my family told me right to my face that the other three at the time of each marriage was not wlcome to join and I had to honor their wishes. I would go to the family functions on my own or not at all depending on how important they were at the time. I got the message loud and clear and I got out of the relationship and moved on. I pick bad choices but I had learn from my own mistakes and maybe your sister has to do the same. It's called tough LOVE and every family goes through it some time in their life. Try to ingnore the issue for now and see what happens. Just give her one more sister to sister love talk and let it take it course.

Answer 4

There really isn't anything you can do other than to be supportive. As long as she knows she can talk to you and you'll be there for her that is all you should be doing. She's listening but she is also going to be defensive because she WANTs for you to be wrong about him. So just leave it alone and let her find out for herself. When you stop criticising him then she won't feel the need to defend him and then since she won't be so busy defending him, she will be able to see for herself what he is like.

Hope you understand what I mean and hope I have helped.

Answer 5

i'd tell her again...and that it's her choice...sometimes she needs to learn the lesson the hardway

for example....if you tell a kid not to put his hand on the stove or he'll get burned.....and he doesn't listen...he'll learn the hard way not to put his hand on the stove

the same would apply here....she'd learn the hard way that he isn't right for her....all you can do is tell her what you're thinking....how you feel...and that if she does make the wrong decision...that you'll be there for her and pick up the pieces...that's really all you can do

Answer 6

Well theres really nothing u can do. Just let her learn from her mistakes. Just keep on giving her advice.

Answer 7

Speak through the left ear and clog up the right one.Hope i could help

Answer 8

She's not going to stop till she really gets hurt but I really don't think she going to listen to you. How sisters actually listen to their parents or siblings....???...Friends....maybe.....Just pray she doesn't end up in damn bad situation...

Answer 9

Let her know your feelings and concerns. Tell her you'll support her in what she does and you'll be there for her. You know she can do better , she'll have to find out for herself.

Answer 10

some people have to learn from there own mistakes if you say something it will probably put a damper on your realtionship with her