Please Help Me!?

Question

I feel that I am starting to self destruct myself I got out of Job Corp May 30th of this year and I quit smoking while in job corp but now started back I have noticed that it has lowered my self confidence, also I am starting to drink alot and it is starting to disrupt my work I am calling into work alot and that is making me feel very bad about myself. I start college Monday and I don't know if I am going to stick with it if I contiune to do these things to myself. Also there is a voice inside my head, now note I am not crazy but this voice says you are stupiud every time I make a fail at something. I just got out of a mentally abuse and also physically abuse home and my parents which are the the people that have done this to me seems like they want me to fail because they have fail in there life. My mother which is an alcoholic and smokes pot comes over to my apartment and offers me beer and she just seems as if she is wanting me to fail. I really dont know what to do please Help

Answer 1

I hate to say this to you, but the healthiest thing for you to do is to cut off all contact with your parents.
A simple rule of life is that you will be most like the people you surround yourself with.

I know it sounds harsh, but you need to realize that your parents are living a type of life that you do not want for yourself. You need to surround yourself with people who want to live clean, healthy, successful lives; people who are happy with themselves and avoid things that damage their lives. Unfortunately, your parents are something that will damage your life, and you need to push them away from you.
Later in your life - like 10 years from now - when you have established a life that is independant of your parents, you have a good job, good self-esteem, and a strong sence of self, you can invite your parents back into your life. You will need to set rules & bounderies when they come over, such as no drinking & no smoking, and thier visits will be nothing more than "visits". They will not be active participants in your life. They will be visitors who come for a while, abide by the house rules, and then leave.

good luck. you've got a tough road ahead, but it can be done.

Answer 2

The best revenge to someone that wants too see you fail is success. If everyone in you life told you were nothing and you wasnt every going to be anything, how wonderful would it be to turn around years later and say you were wrong! The couldn't say anything, then who would look like the dumb one! Unfortanley some people are angry with the choices that they have made in life, and don't want other people around them to be successful either. That's why they put them down so much, in order to make them selves feel better about there self. Let that pain be a fuel for success, and prove to the world and your self, that you are worth more than that. Believe me you are a lot stronger than you think! Never give in to someones hatred for there own life, make a better life for your self. Just because your parents chose not to do right, dont become them, be better than them. Just be you, the best person you can be! Parents weren't meant to be perfect, there only human unfortunately you got the short end of the stick, when it came out to who was going to raise you, but any how its never too late! Just remember you are who you surround your self by. Having negative people in your life brings negativity to your life. Only surround your self with positive people. Other whys you might end up every unhappy! But I wish the best of luck for you! Good luck!

Answer 3

Stop and think. You know what the drinking is doing to you. If you need help stopping, look in the phone book and find an alcoholics anonymous meeting in your area. Set some rules for your apartment. This is your home. You must be strong about this. If mom comes over with drugs or booze, she must leave. She wants you to be her drinking buddy. Tell her no. She can visit sober. You are a good person, and have good goals, don't let this stop you from succeeding. You can overcome this. Surround yourself with good people that will support you, emotionally. Go to school, go to work. Don't call in sick. you can do this. My dad was an alcoholic too. I understand where you came from. Get the help you need. I have confidence in you.

Answer 4

Your only a failure if you let yourself believe you are. Given the background that you came from, you need to make a clean break from it all, your parents included, especially your mother. You have lost your self esteem for yourself because you have been led to believe that you are worthless all your life, this is not your fault. That is the first thing that you have to realize. Find a good counselor or therapist to talk these things out with, so that you can sort them and in your mind and take all the negative things that have happened to you and turn them into positive things. Start changing your behavior first, get out and enjoy things that bring you happiness, become a volunteer where you are helping other people. This will start to boost your confidence in yourself. You can do this, let go of the past and start with a fresh beginning in your life. Best of luck.

Answer 5

It sounds to me like you already know what your problems are, you just have to take control of them. If your mother, or anyone else is a problem, stay away from her until you get through this. You're right about the abuse and wanting you to fail because of their own failure. Counseling could help. Does your college have a counseling service? Take advantage of it if they do. If the smoking and drinking are causing these problems, you must give them up. You are not stupid, everyone fails sometimes. That's just the devil trying to keep you from being the person God made you to be. I believe in you, and am praying for you.

Answer 6

Listen, you have accomplished alot from being in the job corp. it is very good that you quit smoking,but not good that you started drinking. lay off of the drink and start smoking if you have to sub something for drinking. if your mother keeps offering you beer tell her that you don,t need to pick up that habit and that you would appreate if she wouldn't offer anymore. If you are determined to go to collage you can do it,just don't get overwhelmed with it take it easy for a while till you get into the swing of things. even though you came from a messed up life you can change yourself! only you can do it!

Answer 7

Can you remember a moment that your mind was clear? Wasn't it amazing and freeing? It was enlightenment, not from any other source but myself. When your mind and body and emotions and spirit were not hurting in anyway. You were not afraid. You were not a victium. You were so delighted because the way was clear. Sometimes we have to want this so much that we have to declutter. No news, no tv, no answering the door and unplugging the phone. Everyday, spend 20 mins or more just remembering that 'clearness'. That freedom. You will enjoy more 20 min. of enlightenment. Let go of those fears and the pain will go... I know. My pain was from a little low grade temp from my teeth. A physical pain, not an emotional one but it went on for years. Like corruption... but I did endure the pain until one day, I got a glimpse of the clarity I needed. We then got my teeth fixed and the dark cloud on my mind just lifted. Old toxins of our former lives, well, just let them go. Free yourself. chuckle. My toxins, I blessed them when I chanced upon them like I was a saint and they soon got tired of the blessings and dispersed. I thanked them for driving me to sainthood, sincerely. I'm a great actress. It's the 'kill them with kindness' but stand away. When you need people, go to the clean places, regardless of their doctrines. Sing in their choirs. You don't have to belong. I don't like the stick method of AA. I like the carrot method. It is the most cleansing thing and It feels so delightful to have this clarity. Declutter. Don't open the door: Sign on door: Golden Silence in Session. Please Observe. She'll think your nuts and avoid you but even trickery is allowed. You are a warrior for yourself and must not be detered from your success at clarity. go for it.

Answer 8

To get answers: Right before you go to sleep ask your Self 'Why am I limiting my Self?' Every time you do this you have some sort of answer in the morning.

To empower your Self to have freedom: Go to a mirror and look deep into your eyes(not at your eyes) and tell your Self 'I love you, and I honor who you are and what you are'. Do this right before you go to bed and right when you get up. In a few weeks you will see and feel amazing changes.

That is if you choose to do this, or you can stay where you are at now.

Answer 9

Your in spiritual bondage. The voices you head and the negative thoughts and feelings are attacks from the devil. He is a liar and wants you to fail. Don't listen. Read "the bondage breaker" by Neil Anderson. Trust me on this, and read this book!!!!

Answer 10

best thing to do is stop weed alchole etc. thats whats making you self destruct trust me do thisd for yourself and everything will fall into place. i know you want somehting good for yourself ... i mean your in school.thtas good. try hard to stay with it and quit and let your mom know how you feel and dont take what she offers. good luck