child custody help!!!?

Question

if you have custody of your child since he was born and now hes 15. the father is on a 10 yr probation for back child support and is currently paying child support and your son wants to go live with the father, because he wants privacy and cant stand living at home.would you have any rights to prevent this from happening? will you loose all the child support that is owed to you for all theyears the dad wasnt around?

Answer 1

1) The deadbeat will still owe all the back child support no matter what.

2) The custody change would have to be approved by a judge. If you fight it, I think you would win. (It sounds like your son thinks he will have less supervision if he lives with his "father".)

Answer 2

He will still owe you the back child support even if your son does live with him. That money is owed for the period you had sole custody and has nothing to do with the current situation. He will have to go back to court to get the judge's permission to stop his CURRENT payments once your son moves in with him. Until he does this - in the eyes of the court the old order still applies. If he simply stops paying it without going back to the court - they will count it toward the back child support obligations. You can't stop your son from moving in with his dad at this age unles there is some mitigating factor such as your ex cannot provide a safe and suitable place to live. Take my advice and let your son do this if he wants. I will be willing to bet money once he moves in with dad they will both find out the grass isn't always greener on the other side! I mean it's not like your ex has been into fatherhood. He will soon find out what it is like to have a teenage son and it probably won't be pleasant. Look at it as a short vacation for you. After a month or two - your son will probably be begging to come back home.

Answer 3

1. Your son, if over 14, has the right to be heard about his preference on where he wants to live. You can argue your own case -- for example if the father is a felon, or on drugs, or a sex abuser . . . and even if he's not, you can argue that a change in schools will be bad, or the kid won't take his meds, or the father is an atheist and never goes to church, or an alcoholic or chronically unemployed, or won't get the kid to school on time, or keeps a dirty house or is living with a loose or underage woman or a gay man, etc. Whatever works, in other words.

2. You do not lose your right to collect back child support just because you can't get future child support. But you probably should sue (small claims court OK if the amount is right) to reduce it to judgment. Even bankruptcy doesn't end the obligation to pay.

Answer 4

obviously laws differ from country to country and even province/state to province/state. I can only speak from my experience in Canada. If you have sole custody, it is unlikely that the courts would approve an application from your son or his father to change his residence unless you supported the application or it was quite evident that there had been a major change in your circumstances and your ability to parent. Courts are usually quite set n leaving kids where they are unless there is a problem there... they are not big into taking chances on a "possibley reformed" parent being a better choice. our son is 15 though and many places do indicate that after age 16 the child is allowed some say in where he chooses to live.
I completely empathize with your situation but suggest it may be a case of the grass is always greener. Many many kids wish to leave home when they are 15 (whether their parents are together or not) and often the ones that do leave find there way back quite quickly when they realize what they thought looked so attractive wasn't near as nice up close.
Regardless of his living arrangements in the future, you would still be entitled to receive all the back child support owed to you. That is a debt that cannot be erased easily... bankruptcy does not erase it either - generally it can only be erased by court order if the defendant proves it causes undo hardship on him. This is extremely rare. A child changing residence would not erase this debt. If your son did move in with Dad, yoiu may be responsible for paying child support to dad. Because he already owes you money, it would likely be looked at as your payments being applied against his arrears. Because you say he owes you ten years of back support, he would still owe you money at the end of it all.
I literally spent hours reading cases and researching custody and child support cases online prior to my own court date. Not ony did the reading give me great comfort, I became armed with the knowledge I needed to prepare myself for the rough times that I did need to endure. Fortunateyfor my family, justice prevailed with littel trouble and all my worrying was for not.
Take a deep breath and try not too worry. My grandma used to say worry was like a rocking chair - it didn't get you anywhere but sure could keep you busy. Trust in the law - good people with good sense made it.

Answer 5

The child support is your childs, not yours. A court will in some cases take the childs wishes into account. You did not mention the distance of this move. I would think that at this point, unless dad is going to poney up for an attorney (which it sounds like he cannot afford) you should be ok until he is 18. Good luck, being a responsible parent in this situation is made difficult by the threat of legal action. By the way have you talked to dad about this? He may not want this to happen either, the two of you working something out will be the best possible way to deal with this.

Answer 6

Don't think you'll lose the child support if it is due you from the past. Why would you let your 15 year old live with a guy who is on probation? No 15 year old can stand living at home but you're the parent and therefore the boss. That's especially true if there is an absent parent which he can turn into a paragon of virtue in his mind without reality intruding. You may need help from a counselor if he's difficult to handle. Children, even at 15, need rules, guidance, and limits, and directions.

Answer 7

Sounds like you have a angst teenager ! 15 is a tough age. Maybe he REALLY just wants to know his father ?
I don't think you can lose the child support owed you but before you allow your son to move in with the father I'd check with your lawyer and ask those questions.

Have you talked to the father about this arrangement ?

Have you had real conversations with your son about this ? Maybe he just needs to spend time with his father, does he visit regularly ?

Good Luck. My son is now 21 and still has "issues" with his father that will never be resolved but they have come to find that they can have a "relationship" since the courts are no longer "forcing" the issue.

Answer 8

My mom went through this with my brother. And NO, he can't just take him from you. You will give a good aruement in court, if it goes that far. The judge will look at him like he is a clown. You are just having a hard time with your son because he is hitting that age. Just stay on his ***. If you don't he may end up like his father, and I'm sure youdon't want that. You will not loose your back child supprt, it is owed to you, that will never get taken away. And another thing, the father decides to take you to court, the most he will get is visitation, every other weekend... hope this helped a little. If you need some help, I can .tamrasluv@yahooo....

Answer 9

No, that back support is always going to be owed to you.. and...yes you have rights.. the child is in your custudy and the father would have to take you to court to get custudy.. and if he has a record that bad.. he will never win.. courts in WI go by the best interest of the child.. the child is just using emotional black mail.. a game kids play.. trust me.. been there...

The child also want to know the missing parent and more than likely wants to feel loved by the parent.

Answer 10

Your whole question depends on the state you live in. I would say that most states would allow your son to go live with his father, because he is currently paying child support, and yes you will lose any more child support once your ex takes you to court.