When I say hate, I mean hate with a fury. She is the kindest most loving person on one hand, but then lets the pressures of life past and present fester into an explosion of cursing God, work, renters, her life, her son, me, etc. Screaming how she hates each, and wants to just kill herself. I know her pressures are real. I know she's mad at God for being a widow, I know what ever the perticular "trigger" is that day is something anoying. I also know a long running list of bad dicisions is slowly bleeding the life out of her. What I don't know is why she is admired and loved (as wonderful) by so many people at her job putting on one face and attitude and then comes home and is a holy terror to herself and family when she gets home. The customers and coworkers are just shallow aquaintinces, but the ones at home that love and support her (reguardless) are the very ones she is hurting (other than herself). Fortunately she isn't physical with her violence. I'm at my witts end, please help!
2006-08-12 05:27:01 · 11 answers · asked by Love is the principle thing 4 in Social Science ➔ Gender Studies
It is easier to show your anger and take out your frustrations on your loved ones that you are close to and trust, than to do so with strangers. That is very true, yet unfair. You need to know that she does not hate you or her son really. You both are the ones getting the verbal abuse, but she thinks she can do that b/c you love and accept her. You need to sit down with her and explain that you know that she is going through a rough time and then tell her how she is verbally abusing you and her son. Offer to help her get into counseling. If she refuses help and continues telling her son that she hates him, then you need to stand up to her before her son starts believing that. It is abuse and neither one of you deserve that. I think it is normal to have problems and hatred but she is saying some extreme things to hurt you both, so she really needs help. Do whatever it takes to get help for her- and in the long run she will appreciate your effort. Plus let her son know that she does not mean the things she says about him. He may need counseling as well. ---Pius yourself. You can read that book--" I hate you,-Don't leave me." But now, you need to get help with this. You must really care about her and her son to still be with her. wow
-- and yes she is very depressed
2006-08-12 05:48:14 · answer #1 · answered by just julie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like she is either *WITHHOLDING something from YOU or from someone.
People withhold THINGS and then blow out at everyone around them...
Also she might have committed an **OVERT , meaning she has done something unethical, thus withholding THAT...
they go together.
*withhold: an overt a person has committed but is not talking about; an unspoken, unannounced transgression against a moral code by which a person was bound. Any withhold comes after an overt. See also overt in this glossary.
**overt: a harmful act or a transgression against the moral code of a group. When a person does something that is contrary to the moral code he has agreed to, or when he omits to do something that he should have done per that moral code, he has committed an overt. An overt violates what was agreed upon. An overt can be intentional or unintentional.
2006-08-12 05:35:19 · answer #2 · answered by Samuella BurrowShire 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-10-01 23:55:46 · answer #3 · answered by ribbs 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She bottles everything up. She puts on one face to world and takes it off when she comes home. She knows that despite her behavior at home, you will be there. If she acted like that at work she would lose her job. I know what it is like to bottle up emotions. I just let one little thing after another get to me and then its the explosion of tears and anger. It sounds to be like she is suffering from some type of depression or Post Traumatic Stress Disorder or Anxiety disorder. She needs to talk with a psychiatrist. Sometimes losing a loved one, especially a husband can be a very traumatic thing. If she says she wants to hurt herself she definitely needs help. She needs to stop bottling everything up and its easier said than done but she does need to seek some help and you should be there to help her and support her. Try talking to her daily or get her a journal so she can get all of those feelings out on paper. There are options but you need to seek them out. Good luck and I hope your wife gets the help she needs.
2006-08-12 05:37:53 · answer #4 · answered by Sarah J 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
they say you hurt the ones you love the most! Maybe she just has way to much on her plate and feels unappreciated! Have you tried telling her you understand her pressures are real? maybe that will give her some kind of a validation and will help her calm down.
2006-08-12 05:36:21 · answer #5 · answered by cee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Her job might be driving her crazy, amongst all the other pressures of life. She needs a therapist. A GOOD one. I'll pray for her and her family (you included). Get her to a therapist ASAP!
2006-08-12 06:42:59 · answer #6 · answered by Sebastian 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like your wife or girlfriend (that confuses me) is depressed and overwhelmed and stressed. She needs a knew outlet to vent it seems your safe to have her vent to but she needs a positive way to vent and calm down like exercise or punching a bag sounds like she keeps it in until its triggered. She needs to get to the doctor with you to help say what you see and to a counsler. If you dont take the steps to help the ones you love then no one else will. if she refuses the ball is in your court.
2006-08-12 05:35:19 · answer #7 · answered by whirlwind_123 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
depression and she's trying to hide it from the outside world and she doesnt feel that she has to hide it behind closed doors, maybe you should down with her and ask her how you can make things better for her if it aint something you can do i mean if its all in her head she needs to get some help seek a proffesional, theres no need to verbally abuse you and the kids.
2006-08-12 05:33:44 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She knows you and loves you and so feels comfortable enough with you to show her true feelings. She has probably been holding it in all day!
Sit down with her and explain your feelings and tell her you love her and don't want her to feel this way anymore. Have her see a counselor/therapist to help her deal with her issues.
If she is defensive and gets upset with you, tell her if she doesn't get help, it will destroy your marriage. Hopefully that will get her to seek help.
2006-08-12 06:21:12 · answer #9 · answered by mynickname 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She doesn't love her Self unconditionally.
What is going on internally is being played out in Life.
Also how you view her also adds energy to what she is being.
Shift your focus and you will change what you see and feel.
Get the book.
2006-08-12 06:52:26 · answer #10 · answered by aldiaz2wheare 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋