hes cheated on me 3 times last time 6 years and i still cant get over it
2006-08-12 05:14:20 · 39 answers · asked by ADI A 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Give him a taste of his own medicine and see how he likes that!
2006-08-12 05:17:56 · answer #1 · answered by little_friend 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Those odds are not good. Obviously he does not respect you or your marriage. I believe it may be time for something drastic. You can try marriage counselling, but the trust factor would be hard to overcome. You may just have to separate for a bit, to see if he is really serious about the marriage or using you for convenience. Besides there could be a health risk for you, you dont know who these partners are or whether they are using protection. They could carriers of STD. Protect yourself, if you are having sex with your husband. But I think for the short term moving out or having him move out, may be a drastic but necessary step to show that you are not going to tolerate that behaviour any more.
2006-08-12 05:28:57 · answer #2 · answered by Gilligan W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if the trust has gone out the window,and its gone for this long,i think it about time you called it a day. And tell him to leave. I've been there and got the t-shirt it don't get any better. Doing it 3 times doesn't that tell you something.
2006-08-12 07:47:41 · answer #3 · answered by lovableleachy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know from personal experience, once the trust has gone, its very very hard to build up again. However if he is willing to be loyal to you and you are willing to trust again, that's a good start. There is no miracle answer here, as I am sure you well know. Take care Hun I wish you all the best XX
2006-08-12 06:19:26 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I see it this way, you allowed him to cheat on you for a reason, maybe it's because you are insecure within yourself. Maybe you have just become so wrapped up in him that you forgot about yourself. You have to ask yourself if you really want to go thru this yet another time??? If he has done this three times (that you know of) then who's to say that he won't do it again? I think that you are afraid to start over and many of us are, but we have to think of our own happiness every now and then. Good luck to you.
2006-08-12 05:25:48 · answer #5 · answered by mommyof6 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I read a book called Christ-Centered Marriage. In the case of a cheating spouse it recommends the following:
1. Forgive him and give the hurt to God. (failing to forgive builds up bitterness and will kill your relationship with everyone, not just your husband)
2. If it didnt happen 6 years ago when he cheated last, make him accountable. Tell him as uncomfortable and restraining as it may be, if he wants the relationship to continue he must agree to being accountable to you for who he talks to and sees. He brought mistrust upon himself when he cheated, now he must earn it back.
3. Don't bring up the adultery in any other argument or disagreement to use as ammunition against him. You gave the offense to God to deal with.
4. Don't stop loving him and being affectionate with him. Continue to treat him the way you did in your younger years of marriage. Make special dates, make it a habit to look attractive to him.
Forgiveness is the answer if you want to continue your relationship with him. It is the most powerful and gracious gift anyone can be given. Most of us have committed adultery, maybe not in the flesh, but to God because of what we have thought ( not to make light of it as Jesus was crucified for us for those sins), so we all owe a sin debt to God. The same forgiveness that He died to give us is the forgiveness that He calls us to give to others.
I will be praying for you.
God bless
2006-08-12 05:31:26 · answer #6 · answered by lilmissy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a good lawyer and get on with a divorce and your life. Speaking from experience if there is no trust left the marriage is doomed. Another thing I learned the hard way, if he cheated before he will do it again...again...again. Good luck.
2006-08-12 05:21:29 · answer #7 · answered by dotrut2001 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with lilmissy, i do find it easy to forgive its forgetting thats the problem but you need to put it behind you don't keep throwing it in his face if you argue.
If the marriage is worth saving then learn to move on and get past it, or the marriage wont work.
Good luck, dont take the advice to leave him, some people haven't been in the situation to judge.
2006-08-12 07:01:04 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's not worth trusting. He's proven this 3 times already. Yes you can get over it. Lifes goes on with or without him.
2006-08-12 05:17:49 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello Ai,
You must feel really awful, all that trust thrown down the pan in the last year :( (((((poor you)))))) I hope you have everything in your name as well e.g. bank account n stuff, mortgage so that if you do split up you get the things you have a right to.
2006-08-12 07:30:00 · answer #10 · answered by : 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once a cheater always a cheater. You can't change his bad habits so you can either stay or go make a new life for yourself with someone who would treat you like the Queen you are. Good luck girl.
2006-08-12 05:19:44 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋