Whos right & Whos wrong?

Question

Situation: My bf, 25, has a old HS buddy he met with on myspace. They don't exchange comments, etc. Yesterday he came home saying he was going to hang out with him sometime. I said no.

- The friend is single and goes to bars constantly
- His myspace profile is filled with girls and all that crap

So seeing that his friend is also 25, and going to bars I assume that he is just looking to get layed by someone new every weekend.

I told my bf no, and he said we'll talk about it later. Am I right or am I wrong?

*we live together, and are making plans to get engaged our next birthdays, so it's a serious relationship not a flimsy one*

Answer 1

You're actually both right AND wrong. Because it's a serious relationship as you described, your boyfriend should respect your wishes and either not go, or do you the courtesy of discussing it with you before he goes to put your fears to rest. That being said, you can no more forbid him to go anywhere than he could rightly forbid you from doing the same. Being boyfriend/ girlfriend or even husband/wife doesn't give you authority over them, nor they over you. It just means you've both made certain commitments to each other to honor each other's thoughts and feelings in matters concerning you both. In this case, your boyfriend should have recognized this because you have some real issues with this outing, and you may well be right. But at the same time, we guys are abnormally stubborn when we don't like the tone of what we hear, and we're sensitive to feeling "controlled", which sometimes makes us make dumb decisions if we feel we're backed into a corner. If he's truly the one and you proceed with the engagement, work together on your communication skills...(both of you), because I guarantee this is not the last time you will confront this issue. Good luck to you both.

Answer 2

OMG This is so my question to answer! I had the exactly same problem. My bf has this playboy friend who sleeps around everyday.When they go out I am extremely worried too. But keep in mind that you are not married yet,so don't let him have this feeling that you have already killed his social life. Men need "guys night". So here is how I deal with it:

1. It is much better for u to trust him than not.Think about it,when u r anxiously worrying about what is he doing, is he in a strip club, you are torturing yourselve and when he comes back you will be very upset and angry towards him. So just simply trust him. You are gonna marry him, and how can u marry someone u don't trust?He knows what to do and if he really loves you he will control himself well.

2.Find yourself something interesting to do. When my boyfriend is having a guys night out, I always go home to visit my parents,spend time with them. Just avoid staying alone in the apartment waiting for him to come back drunk. Or you can have a girls night out. What I do is when he tells me he's gonna go out with his friends, I will immediately make an appointment with my girl friends Funny thing is,one time my bf showed up at the club where I was dancing with my friends cuz he was worried about me!

Answer 3

Just because your b/f's friend does these things is no indication your b/f will do the same things. His friend may not have as much of an influence over him as you think. You need to trust your b/f.

Answer 4

As much as you may not like your boyfriend's decision, he has his own free will. You have to either trust him or move on, but you can't not allow him to do something.

Answer 5

# 1 never tell a man what to do he will always rebel and do exact;y the opposite. tell him u want to go with him and see what he says u will know his intentions

Answer 6

let him go if you dont have trust you really have NOTHING