Hi! I have been with a guy for over a year, I started seeing him when I was 17 and he was 50. He is mean to me and won't let me talk to other guys, go out without him, he calls me names and doesn't work only lives off of me. He gets social assistance. We share an apartment and all the furniture is bought and paid for by me. He pushes me but has stopped really hurting me the past few months. I want out of the relationship but have a puppy and all my heavy furniture that I cant leave and I cant afford an apartment. I wont stay at the shelter because it will not coincide with my job and I hate it. So I called the cops and they didn't think I should press charges because I have no bruises. So he left for the day but is able to come back whenever he wants. As*hole! I want to lock him out forever but the lease is in both our names. WHAT AM I GOING TO DO?
2006-08-12 04:16:56 · 27 answers · asked by catanomicsunset 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Do you have any relatives that you can turn to? Or friends? Go and live with a trusted friend or family member.
You will definitely have to stop thinking about the puppy and the furniture and worry more about your safety. That's more important.
2006-08-12 04:19:52 · answer #1 · answered by The First Lady 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you don't want to leave the apartment:
First of all, change the locks on the doors. Don't wait for the apartment manager to do it, do it yourself. It's easily done and instructions are on the back of the new package. (Save the old one in case the manager doesn't like the idea. You can always give it to them if they don't agree with the change).
Secondly: Get an Order of Protection. This means he has to stay X amount of feet from you and can not be in the same area where you are. Don't get cocky, a piece of paper will not protect you from him physically, but it will give you the right to call the police and have him removed from the area, including the apartment. And it'll force the police to deal with him.
If you have somewhere to stay, but just don't want to leave the furniture: Rent a storage space and have a few friends over to help you move it out, preferably while he's out for the day. Or borrow some ones basement to store it in.
Go to the manager and see if they'll remove your name from the lease and explain that HE's staying. I'm not sure about the legalities of this, how to remove your name, but I'm sure some one out there can help you.
As far as the puppy, you may have to prepare yourself to give it up. Some people might let you move in with one, but some others may not. You might try boarding it or having some one dog-sit, and see if that works until you get resettled.
Good Luck and I hope this helped a little at least.
2006-08-12 04:47:38 · answer #2 · answered by Lucianna 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Money, apartments, etc - come and go. Never stay in a relationship that is abusive for lack of a place to live, etc.
If in fact you pay all the bills then money shouldnt be the problem. If you are paying for two. Paying for one will only be easier.
move out. Get a different place and get on with your life. Sell the furniture when he is out. Which will give you more money and rid you of leaving him with all your stuff or having to move it!
Write the apartment manager a letter and let him know you are no longer in the apartment and will no longer be responsible for it. Talk to someone about your lease and find out what you can do to get out of it.
Oh and take the puppy with you if you can. He will get over it or not. If he is abusive to you a puppy would be an easy victim. Even if you can not take the puppy with you give it to a good home. That would be the loving thing to do.
Kathy
2006-08-12 04:26:48 · answer #3 · answered by c2god2 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You really need to make a important decision about your life or puppy and the furniture. Think which is important to you. If you are really wants to leave this idiot move on girl. Go to shelter or your parents. If police don't believe you doesn't matter. Can't you ask them that you don't like to live him anymore here.. and he wanna move out from your place? Or send him an eviction notice if that apartment lease is on your name. Or not find a new place with your another girl friends or what about your parents house?
There is lot of ways to live if you decide to live your life. No one can stop. So it's up to you . This is the time you should make a decision about your life and where you start it from. Take care! GOOD LUCK!!
2006-08-12 04:27:24 · answer #4 · answered by mswathi1025 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is there a friend or family member that can take you in for a few weeks? If not, check with a local church in your area. Lots of times they will help out and maybe even arrange for people to help move your stuff out of the apartment. You can not stay in a bad situation just because of fear of the unknown. YOU CAN MAKE IT on your own! You can put the puppy in a kenel or let a friend keep it for you until you get things sorted out. Your safety is #1 though. You're not married to this man, so get out while you can. You can seek a restraining order against him to keep him away from you. Start documenting everything abusive that he does so you will have a record if you have to go before a judge. And now, the real question on my mind - why would a young lady your age want to be with someone old enough to be her father? I am 37 and my husband is 52, and that's a huge gap for us, I can't imagine being with someone his age when I was 18. You seriously need to search deep within yourself for what it is you want from life. Make a decision about what you expect for yourself and don't be willing to back down from it just because someone gives you the time of day. You'll never be happy if you settle for less than you deserve!
2006-08-12 04:29:15 · answer #5 · answered by heartforhelping 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i really feel sorry for u i would be soooo freaked out i want to help but i cant why dont u move to ur momas if he doesnt know where ur moma lives or like sneek out at night and leave ur furniture take ur puppy and go somewhere or go to judge judy or to a normal lwayer and tell them the whole trth and from the begening why would u date a 50 years old im 13 date me jk if u had sex with him hide a camera and show it to the police he will be caught for raping u hes bad hey go to Dr.Phil hes cool or hey get ur dad to kick him and punch him and a lot more moves oh and write hm a letter before u leave say:bye sucker i hope u have fun in jail hahaha> then he will get real angry and after he gets out of jail he might find u but then u will have a new bf so he can save u or maybe "PLAN B" this is how it goes while hes gone move as fast as u can to ur momas and then when he comes back he will have no idea what happend then he will have no job or shelter so...he will be a bumb then u can give him 104 if he has a bucket and a sign that ses"I NEED MONEY" or maybe "Plan C" hmmm......this might work u can pray to god and ask him to help u and to save u and to be ur saviour or.....maybe PLAN D ......im out of ideas sorry and good luck i hope i have the best ansewer look im only 13 what can i think of plz choose me as the best answere and good luck ill be praying about u
2006-08-12 04:22:51 · answer #6 · answered by МɨҞҾ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a pickle. If you can prove the furniture is paid for by you, the police can help you collect it if you can find a place to stay. And if you can afford to support the two of you, you can afford to stay alone. You just need to lower your standards for a while and live in something smaller until you can save money to get something better. The idea is, get out of there quick by any means necessary and whereever you move, chances are, it'll be better than a shelter.
2006-08-12 04:22:57 · answer #7 · answered by Chris D 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh my God, I read the first line and stopped. GET OUT of this relationship. Go to the apartment and break the lease - leave. This is a very sick realationship. He is a pervert using a 17 year old girl, which btw is rape - you are under 18! Get out! NOW!
2006-08-12 04:19:23 · answer #8 · answered by 'Barn 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to your landlord and explain what is going on and they may let you get out of the lease. Can you move back in with your parents or maybe a friend until you are able to get back (financially) on your feet? Maybe even consider getting a room mate? Good luck to you!
2006-08-12 04:20:47 · answer #9 · answered by Maymie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its no longer ur fault in any respect n abuse is complicated to coach police officials ned to c it take position or some variety of information previously they could do some thing n they likely made ur mom go away for her secure practices n the guy likely is conscious of wht to say from adventure
2016-11-29 23:41:23 · answer #10 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋