I have an (ex) girlfriend from the Philippines. She still loves me a bit, i still love her a bit. But i always think she's a huge faker. I can't understand things, even when i try hard to.
The reason we can't easily break up is cuz we have been penpails for over 2 years and share more words & ideas than any married couple...but in person she never speaks or is romantic, only in letters! The romantical illusion died when i i visited her for the 1st time after 1 year 8 months
How come she always told me how she respected virginity and all that (and i also do to..apparently more than her) and then when we are alone in a hotel she tries to have sex with me when i assumed (and told her) it was suposed to wait. Yet i can't even hug her affectionately in her father's house when no one is even home! Hypocrite? that is my only thought. On a bus ride i couldn't even put my arm around her, yet she could rest her head on my shoulder? How can i keep giving her love when she never returns it?
2006-08-12 04:07:30 · 33 answers · asked by ryan s 1 in Travel ➔ Asia Pacific ➔ Philippines
Dude, You are confused. You think no showing public affection has more to do with love than culture and up bringing. Anything she can do behind close doors should stay between you and her. She trust you. That is the only place she can truly show her desire. But in public, she feels she has to meet the expectations in the manner she was raised. It is scandalous to show affection in public in the Philippines and maintain a good reputation. Desire has nothing to do with it. Show a little understanding. Try to walk in her shoes for a while. English is her second language. How much time do you put into a letter, compared to her? Do you really believe that she sends you the first draft? If she spends hours on a letter hunting for the right phrase to express herself to you, How can you saw she never returns your love. Love is measured by the effort that she puts into communication and the relationship. Touch is just one small part.
2006-08-14 09:50:08 · answer #1 · answered by Mr Cellophane 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i'm a filipino, i don't think its a faker, its just the way filipinas brought up, it is mostly a misunderstanding. hotel is a secured place to show affection that's why she behave that way, a house isn't, no filipina will take the risk to be caught by an undecent event.
all women like romance in mental not physical. do you have a sister? i bet you don't.
lots of filipino-american relationship has the same problem. even more you'll find out when you'll get married. like i told you if you really love the girl, educate her to educate you. don't just simpy like her because you want something to take from her or to give for you. love is a constant work. quit if you doesn't like the job.
2006-08-12 04:28:18 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
The Philippine culture is still "conservative", thats why majority of Filipinas DONT want to display their affection in public. Majority still value virginity. I think (if you want to) you have to be with her, to get to know her, meet her family, go out .. I think the best way to get to know someone is to know how he/she treats her family.
She may be returning your love through other means other than physical .... think about it.
There are three reasons why she acted that way in the hotel room:
1. She probably loves you so much thats she's willing to give up her virginity for you prior to marriage.
2. She's just using you.
3. She's the "westernized" Filipina
2006-08-13 09:29:54 · answer #3 · answered by Keepingmycool 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ignorance of once culture and tradition spoil relationship. Before undertaking a relationship, one, especially Westerners must study these. You must not impose your beliefs in a different culture or tradition because first this is a disaster and second if you only think of yourself, your're in the wrong relationship in the first place. How could you maintain a relationship when you only visit whenever it pleases you. One year and 8 months, Filipinas are not that stupid to be waiting for such a long period of time. They are not like dogs who could wait for their master. They are also human being, (sorry for commenting this but I think it suit someone who only think of themselves)!
2006-08-12 12:22:29 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Thats the problem about inter-racial relationship. Culturally, both of you have diffrent backgrounds. Asian people in general have different views about public display of affection. They may be aloof in public but thats just because thats how they were raised, that also doesn't mean that they dont want to be affectionate with you.
It also differs in each person. Your girlfriend may be shy to be affectoinate in public. Just try to understand, you can tell her what's bothering you. Be frank.
It is also difficult to be affectionate to a person whom youve only been close through just by writing to them, give her more time. He he he. She'll warm up to you soon.
2006-08-12 04:18:42 · answer #5 · answered by ♠ENIGMA™ 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Many South East Asians consider showing affection openly in public to be shameful in some way and is generally discouraged, more so when the other person is a westerner.
Reading your other questions it would appear that your girlfriend is not interested in you at all, or has lost interest as your not satisfying her sexual desires.
2006-08-13 14:28:26 · answer #6 · answered by stefjeff 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You may be running up against some cultural or personal differences. If you have some feelings for her and wish to persue a deeper relationship give it some time to learn why she wants things to be the way they are. There may be valid reasons for this bahaviour or some problem with her that you need to discouver. When you know why she is acting this way you can decide if it is okay with you.
2006-08-12 04:17:57 · answer #7 · answered by Kenneth H 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I know some filipino culture. Filipino girls dont want to be caught locking lips in public. It looks gross for elders in that country. They don't want to be called "easy". So maybe she's the aggressive type (trying to look reserved) that's why in the hotel she acted that way. Not all filipinas are like that because i know some and they still carry the filipine culture with them and valued virginity so much.
2006-08-12 04:16:24 · answer #8 · answered by rassia 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
bcoz some of Filipina girls are like dat.,(but not me) Some of ur wanted to be very PDA ( public display of affection) some arent. some arent wanted to show that their love their partner in public but still very thoughtful and sweet specially when they are alone. Some are very showy but you see there are some oldied thata re looking ang judging you. If a person saw u they will think (""ahh this girl is a hooker"" coz most of the foreigner came in zambales and they had a bad image.,.,.,so pinay are trying to rid of this prejudging of people.,.,But dont worry i think she loves u .,,.,or maybe she just want to have fun and make u as one of her flings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2006-08-14 03:47:54 · answer #9 · answered by Emmanuel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm a filipina and i understand exactly what you mean. First i will ask you, are you really sure she is the one writing to you in email? i know many people who have penpals that the're not the one who really writes. that is because most country girls are shy or don't know how to express there feelings so they ask somebody to do it for them. i advise you must spend more time together in person rather than in emails because that is a BIG difference!
2006-08-12 12:39:36 · answer #10 · answered by ? viena ? 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋