My husband constantly complains about EVERYTHING. He goes to work then sits on computer playing online games then goes to bed. He complains that we are broke, I don't clean to his liking, I am the reason we are broke, I don't cook and don't fix the cars. (I really do hate to cook but do it anyways to feed him and the kids...I rarely eat.) He calls me fat and ugly, says I am stupid (I sometimes call him a retard). I know its not all him but he says this marriage sucks and that I can leave if I want. Should I just go. Am I being stupid trying to hold on to this marriage that he hates?
2006-08-12 03:53:42 · 23 answers · asked by Amy S 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Given that you have children, you have an obligation to try to make the marriage work. You two need to see a marriage/relationship counselor and start working on it now.
2006-08-12 03:59:08 · answer #1 · answered by Otis F 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's worth a try. Can't hurt, can it? Get some self-help books first. Much cheaper than therapy, and you can get some good advice. Try to pin point the biggest causes of stress in your marriage. Sounds like money. Can you move to a cheaper house? Can either of you take on another part time job to bring in even a little extra cash? Two house cleaning jobs for two hours on a saturday could pull in an extra $100 a week. That can be significant when you're broke. You don't have to do it forever, just until you catch up a bit. And you absolutely have to stop calling each other names. That's just a bad example for your kids. When he calls you fat an ugly, tell him this is unacceptable abusive behavior that you don't even let the children do. Don't nag him about online computer games. That's his boss's job. Instead, try to be supportive and complimentary. Try to be fun. It may be hard at first, but hopefully he'll soon respond in kind. Have a heart to heart with him about how you want your marriage to be, and ask if he's willing to help make the change. If he's not, divorce his *** fast.
2006-08-12 04:09:02 · answer #2 · answered by ungirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Holding on to this marriage IS stupid. That doesn't necessarily mean end the marriage, it means change things in the marriage, or end it. The most important things in any marriage are liking the spouse, respecting the spouse, and working as a team toward whatever goal you two share. Every marriage has ups and downs. BUT, name calling and fault finding can kill any marriage. Change things or divorce. Were you two ever friends? Try to focus on why you chose to be together originally. Day to day problems and frustrations can and do end marriages unnecessarily, when these type problems CAN be resolved if you can work together. Only you two can decide if this relationship is worth the work required to make it worthwhile.
2006-08-12 05:36:01 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes, letting go seems like the easiest thing to do. But think about this: you've invested so much of your time and energy into another person; you've made a solemn promise; and you still know there's love, even if it's hiding underneath the surface. This website will show you how to save a marriage and avoid divorce, even if you're the only one trying https://tr.im/Dl94N
2015-01-28 12:23:09 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
From experience do not stay together for the sake of the kids! It sounds like you are both at fault no offence but when he opens his mouth you fire back,. I know I did the same thing. Maybe therapy would help.
Above all don't lose yourself and your self esteme!
I was married for 21 years and it has taken me 11 years to get back what I lost in the marriage. Yes I have grown children that were young when I got divorced.
If you do kick him to the curb make sure you first have money hidden that he can't get to and get yourself a good lawyer and make him pay child support if you are planning on keeping the kids. Stop the name calling it only tarnishes you both in your children's eyes.
Good luck!
2006-08-12 04:09:36 · answer #5 · answered by couchP56 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not leave until you have try everthing.I was there and i still i'm working with my problems.I don't know if your husband farther was in his life.but i had a farther that was not their.and as for my step-farther for 32 yrs.whom never marry my mom,was not their.they did name calling like you guys.from the a work to the p work, for 32 yrs.this is what i learn.the same bahovior which my kids are now learning.I have same thing you have.somebody have to stop.and well now you are here so let it start with you.plan a date with no kids,well lets see where to go.Marriage counseling someone with kids and marry.you know my wife gave me some tickets to a farther day outing.and it was Less Brown from V-103 in Chicago,IL.It made me cryed.He spoke on Black farther and men are needed in black community.how men should take back the community from drug dealer to singel moms,not arguly with your wife let her know how beuatiful she is, do homework with your kids,help kid in the community,take him to a ball game or just be there for me.this my get scary for so men,go to chruch with your wife and pray with the your family.I still have my shore coming, but it can work.this may not be for you, but look at this like eatening catfish used what you can used and than result to the garbarge.I pray this can be useful.P.S.go to the web.for something like lessons on being a good farther and husband.I'll pray for you and your marriage you pray for me and my marriage.love you.it will get better!Willbe looking for a up date.
2006-08-12 05:30:49 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first thing you must know is if you want to save your marriage and if you find yourself alone in this desire, waiting for the other spouse to make the first move is the beginning of the end. Learn here https://bitly.im/aMmX7 If you are looking for someone to blame or someone else to put the emotional and physical work into saving the marriage, again, it's going to fail.
2016-05-18 03:28:54 · answer #7 · answered by Patricia 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe he just needs to know what it would feel like with out u. go away for a few days or maybe weeks when he as to do all the work himself and clean and when he comes home and the home is empty then he will realize how much he needs u. and if he doesnt then u r free to find some one who will every little thing u do and not call u fat and ugly
2006-08-12 04:01:03 · answer #8 · answered by in ur face 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
GO TO COUNCELING!!!! Any marriage can be saved it's just a matter of both of you wanting to save it. What brought you 2 together in the first place, what happened to that? Are you spending time together alone? Dedicate even just 1/2 hour each night to just sitting and talking to each other, communication is crutial to a marriage!
2006-08-12 04:16:10 · answer #9 · answered by dnmhbk 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes i believe a marriage is allways worth saving . listen to the things that he is unhappy about and try and fix them with getting an attitude first. you admit you dont like to cook all the time let him cook sometimes what he may want if you dont eat the family still has to and the both of you calling names is childish. no marriage is perfect try Hardertell him one way to save money is to get off the computor. find something to do with your man girl
2006-08-12 04:08:57 · answer #10 · answered by Cheryl T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋