first of all, i work 7days a week every morning i wake up at 4am to be able to get to work on time.. anyways last nite my step kids kept being loud and waking me up constantly and i didnt get to go to sleep until 1am so i only had 3hrs sleep... so i am very exhausted, plus on weekends im home by 8am...so 8am this morning i came home which my stepkids were sleeping in the living room..i was loud as i could possibly could be... i turned the surround sound on w/ the tv and then i turned on the radio...i know i pissed off the oldest....then my husband asked if i was mad???? what the H3LL does he not understand... what do they disrespect you??? plus after i wake up i cant go back to sleep... im the type of person treat peeps the way they treat you... do anyone else go through this and how do you deal w/ it...
2006-08-12 03:35:33 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
also my hubby is on disablility and he gets a little more than me a mnth but not much...and if i quit paying bills he would be stuck in the whole...
2006-08-12 04:06:33 · update #1
This isn't an answer but just some FYI,, I'm a grown woman with grand kids, but, my dad was married 6 times before I turned 15 so I KNOW about step mothers,,1st you need to let your husband know what the problem is ,if he's there when the kids are being rude and loud then treat him like he allows his kids to treat you, or at least give him a "taste" of the rudeness you deal with, 2nd,, cut those kids off of any "extras" they get from you working so hard and long hours even if its their favorite breakfast cereal , and when they start in about how "its not fair" then is the time to explain to them about "fairness" and the give and take between members in a household where someone is working to put food on the table and pay the bills so they can watch TV and play a surround sound stereo,,those kids need some tough love from you only then will they learn to respect you .....
2006-08-12 04:35:29 · answer #1 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are stooping to their level and acting like another sibling. That is why they are not respecting you as an adult caretaker. You need to lay down the law and say absolute silence after 10 p.m. on the days you have to work. If they break this, you start taking their CDs until they can comply. If the noise still continues, you take the TV away. The computer. The car keys. Keep going until they get it that they have to be quiet. Discipline them. But respect them, too. Don't be punitive. Be calm and rational and fair. (Hard to do when you're exhausted and pissed off, I know.) By all means, wake them up at a decent hour. Maybe not 8 a.m., but definitely by 9:30. If they sleep all day, of course they won't be tired at night. Make a chore chart. If you are working your tail off, you should be coming home to a clean house. Even young kids can pitch in. They can do dishes and take out trash, and dust. These are easy things to do. Communicate what is expected of everyone. And your husband needs to shoulder some of the responsibility on this. ESPECIALLY making sure they are quiet when you need to be sleeping. He needs to be a parent.
2006-08-12 04:20:09 · answer #2 · answered by ungirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am a mother and a step mother, and it is really hard! I can handle my son better than I can handle my stepdaughter. But I think what you did when you came home would have been something that I would have done too!! LOL! Why doesnt your hubby step in and make the kids be quite? I would open a can on them and put them in their place, you are the parent that is working her butt off and they dont even have the common courtisy to let you sleep, not cool!!! I just wouldnt deal with that well at all, I would have a heated discussion with them and let them know that this crap is not going to be delt with, and completely not accepted, but make sure that you and the hubby talk about it first so you both can sit with them and the kids know that you both are on the same page and then they wont be able to get away with anything!
2006-08-12 04:13:30 · answer #3 · answered by dnmhbk 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't say how old the kids are but no matter what they need to learn that when someone is trying to sleep that they need to respect that. Tell your husband why you are mad and tell the kids. You have every right to be upset. I would tell all of them if they can't quieten down when I have to sleep then we can go to a bedtime in the house for everyone. I don't think it is as much disrespecting as they are being kids and to them they can sleep all day so whats the big deal? Just remember though you aren't the parent and more than likely anything you say will go straight to dad so tell him and get him to back you up first.
2006-08-12 04:13:26 · answer #4 · answered by Martha S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I go through the same thing every day with my three step-kids. As a matter of fact.. they are doing all they can to bother me right now. I had a long talk about respect with my husband. I told him that if I was expected to work and help raise his kids then they have to understand that I will be respected in my own home or either me or them would be gone. I know it sounds drastic... but it was the only thing that worked.
2006-08-12 04:09:58 · answer #5 · answered by kathylovis 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
IF i were you i would ask dad to look into it first then if nothing happens i would call a family meeting and ask each child what do they think the problem is and everyone try and work on their timing so that you can rest iam sure each one benefits from your work and they need to be a little more considerate of your needs even dad.just dont fall into acting like a fool like them you are the ADULT.
2006-08-12 04:01:37 · answer #6 · answered by Cheryl T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOu did good. Bravo.
Don't let them walk all over you.
2006-08-12 07:27:19 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
cpmplain to your husband let him be the one to tell them.
2006-08-12 04:07:36 · answer #8 · answered by nicole l 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋