i really need help so please answer?

Question

okay i have a 13 year old lil sis and i caught her and her boyfriend having sex and now she wont talk to me or even look at me i really need help on what to do i want her to talk to me again and i want to be able to talk to her about this incedent so what can i do ? Please Help Me and if you would like to then IM me so i can tell u exactly what happened with more details

Please i need real help

every time i try to talk to her she walk away from me or runs off to her room and plays the radio really loud so i can hear her crying and i know for sure that she is crying cuz i use to do the same thing when me and my bf got in a fight

this happened like a week ago

Answer 1

There really isn't much you can do, just let your sister know that you still love and respect her. You can leave her a letter under her bedroom door and tell her that you are not angry and that you won't tell on her. But she should know about the dangers of having sex at such a young age, as an older sibling you may be able to tell her better than most people. The important thing is that you respect each others feelings.

Answer 2

You are clearly upset by this incident and it won't help your feelings if I tell you that this is not uncommon amonsgt young teenagers. There are two things which you must deal with. The first is your feelings of being protective towards her, if when you are dealing with the other issue, the incident itself and being able to speak with her, you are likely to come across as over protective and interfering. She will then become alienated from you, making you task even harder. I think you must also accept that your efforts to resolve this may not work at all.

Perhaps you should start by not speaking about it, I feel you have to win her trust back, I;m sure she loves you, but may not trust you because of her own feelings of guilt that she doesn't want to face up to.

These guilty feelings are not constructive, they can inhibit and divert people from useful discussion.

So back to the strategy of talking about tv - you know a Big Brother incident or maybe music or just generally have a natter about something else, so that you both feel comfortable with each other. When relations between you are more easy and the tension is a little more relaxedm, then ask her if she is ok and if the sex was a good experience - it isn't always for the first time.

Also you need to know if she was pressured into it or she was consenting. Apart from the obvious issues concerning the boy, there is again the issue of how she feels.

Tread carefully!

Answer 3

Okay, so you caught her and her boyfriend at 13 years old. How old is the boy friend? I think you should definitely talk to her about all the things that can go wrong (HIV, STD's and pregnancy). However, if she's to embarrassed to talk to you, you need to go to your parents. You should go to them anyway. You're not ratting her out, you're just looking out for her best interests. She's 13 for God's sake. Sex should be the furthest thing from her mind. She does need to be aware of how to protect herself though if she is already participating in this activity. Good luck and remember, sometimes it's harder to tell your parents something than it is for them to learn the knowledge. If it was my daughter I would want to know so I could give her all the information she needed to make informed decisions concerning this activity. There is no way parents can be helpful in this situation if they don't know. If you're afraid of your parents reaction, go to a school counsilor or church representative and talk to them. Maybe they can point you in the right direction.

Answer 4

Try to talk to her and now that you know she is having sex take her to the clinic and put her on some birth control get her some condoms and let her know you are there for her. She is probably scared and doesn't have anyone to talk to and she feels you are going to react like mom or dad just be there for her i know u dont approve of it but shes going to be doing it anyway so help her do it the right SAFE way before you have a sister that has a baby or disease

Answer 5

She is probably embarrassed and is avoiding you cos you caught her red handed! OK so she is a minor but she went ahead and did it anyway...Let it rest for a few days or when she is ready to talk... She is just as afraid as anyone else and is probably confused too. Maybe a note tucked under her door saying, 'I'm here for you if you need me' along with a little gift might mellow her a little bit...But don't push it or be too hard on her! She needs time to think!

Answer 6

why in the 1st place r u feelin guily. she was the one doin somethin wrong and shud b ashamed of herself as u 2 can see she's too young for all this. u shud b the one actin the way she is, an make her realise that . i know ur trin to b unnerstaning but there's no need for u to b as she feels she needs no help. i supose ur the very good sis kind but u got to hold ur goodness back till the time she realises her fault and approaches u ! a little attitude does help at times.

Answer 7

shes afraid to talk to you thats cyrstal clear! dont let her run away from you, but dont scare her or grab her so she cant get away that will freak her out. you should try to confront her maybe when she goes into her room tell her right away that its ok you just want to talk that you understand shes scared...this will at least give you a little bit of a start. it may take a while for her to say something to you if you need to tell her she doesnt have to talk just listen and then go from there....i hope that she talks to you soon, and i hope everything goes well!! good luck to you...=)

Answer 8

2 points

Answer 9

rite i don't know how to help but i think u should just try and sit her down and talk to her if she runs of go after her cause u really need to talk about it and u should let her know that ur not mad at her but she shouldn't be having sex at her age i hope i helped a little bit

Answer 10

I have the same problem my sister is thirteen and she had sent naked pictures to boys she talks dirty to them and she has been doing drugs since she was 11 all I know is that they hate it when you blame them so instead of accusing ask simple questions so she feels like she has a chance to redeem herself and confront the boy personally I would be wooping his butt.......