I have been married for many years but I recently met a girl on the other side of the country. I had a great time with her and think she is an amazing person. We didn't physically get together or anything but found it very easy to talk to each other. I have contacted her a few times since i got back and i am absolutely terrified by the strength of my feelings towards her. I know she feels the same way. I love my wife and our life together but i've never felt what i'm feeling right now for anyone. What's going on? What should I do?
2006-08-12 00:17:29 · 17 answers · asked by Harry M 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Think this through, and through and through. Think about it a million times over if you have to. You have two choices here and you have to know the consequences of each. If you chose to act upon your feelings with the other woman, be prepared to give up your "wonderful life with your wife" away. Ask yourself if this is a consequence you're willing to live with for the rest of your life. On the other hand, if you chose to renew your commitment with your wife, then you MUST cut all ties and communication with the other woman. Either way, someone will get hurt. Then, you take a closer look at your marriage to see what is "missing" that would cause you to feel infatuated with another. You mentioned that it was easy to talk to the other woman. Is it so hard to talk to your wife? Sometimes there isn't anything wrong in the marriage. Maybe you're just looking for some excitement, passion. Not knowing you or your situation, I'm in no position to know what you're feeling. This is something only you can know. Whichever path you choose, I just hope you won't come to regret your decision when all is said and done. Good luck!
2006-08-12 00:57:32 · answer #1 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You say you love your wife and your life together so it sounds to me that you are "infatuated" with another woman. That doesn't mean that you love her, just that it is exciting and new. It is normal to feel this way after many years of marriage, but you truly don't really KNOW this person and are probably fantasizing a lot. If you don't want to end your marriage, then you need to stop talking to the other woman. If you want to continue your "relationship" with the other woman, then your wife has a right to know. Only you know the answer to this, but since you stated that you love your wife, I think those are the feelings that will last and the other is just excitement. It feels great, but won't last!
2006-08-12 02:03:33 · answer #2 · answered by mab5096 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know what this is. Yup, infatuation. Now, you can be reasonable, or stupid. Do you throw away the life you've built with your wife, for a person you don't really know, on the basis of a weekend, or a few day meeting? Leaving the moral question aside, it's as silly as dumping a car you know, and can depend on, just cuz you took a short ride in a pretty shiny convertible. You love your wife and your life together. Every reason for your saying that is just as valid today, as they were before you met this other girl. Does your life lack drama and excitement? Are you so tired of being happy that you want to blow money on lawyers, lose at least half your assets, have to live with the knowledge that you betrayed your loving wife, harmed your children, and revealed yourself publicly to be shallow, immature, and silly? Life IS choices. Sadly, many choose stupidly, and pay a high price. Just cuz "the grass LOOKS greener", doesn't mean it IS greener.
2006-08-12 00:57:45 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to communicate with your wife more and maybe spice up your relationship in the bedroom? I really feel this is a phase you are going through and I hope for your sake nothing with the other woman has happened yet? If you keep pursuing the other woman, it will be only a matter of time before you do something you will regret later and seriously hurt your wife. Stop all contact with this other woman and explain to her that you are a married man. I hope she knows you are married and you did tell her, didn't you?
2006-08-12 00:58:13 · answer #4 · answered by Fox_ual 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You say you love your wife and life, I think not. This girl wouldn't make any difference to you if that where true. You maybe have the 7 year itch? Male "mental"pause?(that's what I call it) You like that feeling you get when you first love someone. That does fade, real love calms down, you don't get the butterflies in your tummy as much, or as severe. That is a mature love that has grown. I would think about separation from your wife. She deserves better than you,..if you could go and meet another female, your not worthy of her.
2006-08-12 00:26:06 · answer #5 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my gran mother always say the grass always look greener on the other side but that don't mean that it is, u know what u have are u willing 2 give that up for someone u just meet? the thing is some only show u what they want u 2 see when u just met them u have a family enjoy that, and date u wife again she and u will open up new binging life is 2 short 2 give up something good for something u don't even know what u getting your self into.
2006-08-12 00:43:58 · answer #6 · answered by Debra O 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What?? You think this is anything new?? Grow up fool. Marriage does not mean you will never be attracted to another. You're just a typical, bored, married person that misses the thrill of a new attraction.. You love your wife?? Enough to not betray her?
2006-08-12 00:24:08 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you love your wife and your life with her, you should stop contacting the other girl right now. No good will come of it and it will just leave you frustrated and hurt your wife when she finds out.
2006-08-12 00:22:06 · answer #8 · answered by Avid 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to stop and decide what you are going to do, please don't spend anymore time or emotions on this other woman, don't take that energy and time away from your marriage. If the other woman is what you REALLY want then be honest with yourself and your wife, don't hurt her even more by carrying on behind her back.
2006-08-12 00:25:14 · answer #9 · answered by Completly in love... 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
accept the fact you are married. If you love your wife like you say you do, you will end this other relationship before it gets you into a heap of trouble.
2006-08-12 01:19:02 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋