After a whoke morning of breaking my balls cleaning my boyfriends flat ready for a viewing this afternoon (were selling to buy a place together), I find that my boyfriend has been downloading and watching porn. He knows I have a real problem with this and find it abhorrant. I was so disgusted that I dug out his old porn collection (along with new) and snapped all the dvds into little tiny pieces. Im going to dump them in the living room ready for when he arrives home later today and go shopping with a male friend of mine. Ha ha ha ha!
What would you have done?
2006-08-11 23:36:07 · 23 answers · asked by Squiddly Diddly 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
In response to just peachy, it is 'our' flat as i do live here and everything is paid for 50/50.
Furthermore, I understand everyone has different tastes but surely if you said to your girlfriend 'I hate macaroni cheese' and everyday she served up macaroni cheese for dinner, wouldnt you start to question why and ask if she really gives a **** about what you like/dislike? In a relationship, you generally try to avoid what makes your partner physically sick!
2006-08-12 00:14:32 · update #1
This question is for women anyway so keep your big nose out, 'SAD bob'.
The biatch x x
2006-08-12 00:47:01 · update #2
its a tricky one, while i realise that men do watch porn, i also found a mag in my bedroom obviously not belonging to me, i was gutted my husband and i had been getting on so well, and he had always said he wasnt into porn, even when a neighbour said to me all men are into porn i said not my husband, when i told him what she said he acted like how dare she, i was so upst i seperated all the pages and spread them over the dining room table, i saw him walking down the road from work with a smile on his face, then when he walked in he smiled at me and then his smile was wiped off his face when he saw the pictures, his excuse was all the lads at work have them they are stacked high i dont know why i brought it home i forgot all about it. Because of the nature of the mag i knew it was his thing and i said to him never ask me to do those things again now, i felt like i couldnt be in that situation with him again after hed been looking at other women like that, i said to him that i did it out of love for him even if it had in the past made me uncomfortable, not because it was degrading or anything like that but because i have always been uncomfortable with my body and he knew that, and the girls in the pictures were perfect looking with great bodies, anyway i couldnt look at him for days he apologised, i couldnt get undressed in front of him, i felt so infearior, i got over it ive even managed a joke about it, but he was sorry and never wanted to hurt me, but i think you shoul do your plan he will be sick when he gets back. ha ha
2006-08-12 01:50:35 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hi, I can certainly empathize with you. We all go thru this at some point in our lives. I left a man because of this sort of thing. He fell asleep watching ten on tv. My son had come home from morning kindergarten and I was outside watering my roses. My son went in the house and my boyfriend was aleep on the couch. I went in about 30 seconds after my son went in. I saw him just standing in front of the tv watching some woman on top of a man going ohhhh, yeah,, uh huh, you know what I mean. I was totally disgusted. My poor son is ten years old now, and he still cannot get that image out of his mind. It has caused him some confusion and it has raised his sexual curiosity when before this he did not have any, as this sort is not normal at his age. So, I agree, and I feel it belittles a woman. I feel sexuality should be between you and your partner. Also, there is a time and a place for everything. If a couple enjoys porn together, (and she really enjoys it and is not just pretending to for his sake) then I think that is great. I know, in all of my years on this earth, usually men who watch porn, also cheat. Now, there are exceptions. I know a couple who watch porn and they do it together, and they are so in love and very committed to one another. But, they have reached a level of maturity, most couples never reach even after 30 years of marriage. Mostly it all boils down to respecting one anothers limits.
2006-08-12 08:11:41 · answer #2 · answered by sweetsubmissiveangel 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
OK i have a different view on this if he wants to watch porn when your not there that should be ok with you at least hes not going to find some whore to sleep with in other words hes just looking at the menu hes not ordering any thing he already has what he wanted if hes selling his place to buy a home together and about you going shopping with you male friend that's some thing you have to find out on your own if that's a good idea
2006-08-12 06:44:51 · answer #3 · answered by ~♥~Nay~♥~ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's none of my business if he has a porn collection. i would have break up with him in d first place coz he already knew that i hate this kind of stuff but he's still into it. do u think he'll be sorry 4 what u did & he'll regret d porn stuff? u can always take everything in a calmest possible way. pls remember that every person has his/her own dark secrets. im sure u have urs.
so next time that u'll have a bf, dont do that again. being insane is d last thing that u shud do in a relationship. trust shud come first.
2006-08-12 06:47:58 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He already knows your feelings on the matter, so a 'quiet chat' wouln't be good enough. Good for you, I say.
As for the 'random male' comment made by someone else - there's nothing wrong (or random) about having a male friend.
I would be concerned about sorting issues that REALLY bother you before moving in together. Getting out of a mortgage and property is more difficult than divorce... beware!
2006-08-12 06:48:26 · answer #5 · answered by Vix 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ouch...
Noting all guys into porn...
Sweet submiss above... classic example of why you should have given your kid sex ed lessons years ago and explained what porn was... then if he came accross it he would not be shocked but goon yuuuck boring grown up kissy video
and turned it off.
Maybe what you need to do is get stuff togther that both like... maybe with fit firemaen for you...
Or he can have porn but with you two in it only...
2006-08-12 14:26:45 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
so it is ok for you to go shopping with some random male but when he's looking at women he's never going to meet or even talk to that is a problem. maybe you have a few moral issues you want to look at yourself before just blazing into your man.
I'm not saying going against your wishes and doing it anyway is right but to be honest if any girl told me i couldnt look at porn ever again I would be gone.
I don't think your a prude but maybe you should just remember we are all human and everyone has little sides of them that maybe considered to others to be imorral or even wrong. Just becausde you may not agree doesnt mean it is wrong!
2006-08-12 06:41:56 · answer #7 · answered by lango_faldo_the_barefoot_dr 2 · 0⤊ 3⤋
I'd have taken his porn off him too. Me and my boyfriend have argued over porn. He watched porn and fell asleep instead of waiting for me to finish work and us have sex. I was upset about it. Sadly, men are simple. They love porn and you'll never find one that doesn't like it. If you are lucky and they give it up for you, well done. If not, ask him to be less obvious about it.
2006-08-12 06:42:06 · answer #8 · answered by Elise 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Most men like porn i dislike it but if hes discrete about it i don't see what the problem is
2006-08-12 07:12:02 · answer #9 · answered by Sassylady 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have 2 answers for this my first is that why is he looking at it what is missing at home, but on the the other hand i think well at least it's looking on the net and not in reality grrr this is a hard one................
2006-08-12 07:26:41 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋