I've been with my boyfriend for 1 year and 3 months. We argue constantly. I feel like he likes to feel powerful and in control by upsetting me. I can't have resonable conversation with him because he flies off the handle so easy. But despite all this, I love him to pieces. He is the most important thing in my life. I don't know what to do?
2006-08-11 23:24:05 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Problems like yours sadly often end in mass murder followed by suicide, do you have access to firearms?
2006-08-11 23:30:09 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Feeling upset when you are around your boyfriend is not love.
Not having reasonable conversations is not love.
He is not the most important thing in your life: you are!
It seems he has forgotten the 'friend' part of boyfriend and at the same time you have forgotten that you are allowed to find a boy who lets you be yourself.
Have a word with yourself: would a happy woman allow herself to stay in an upsetting relationship? The short answer is no!
Do it in the briefest and most honest way; "I no longer want to be your girlfriend. I am unhappy in this relationship and I am leaving you. Goodbye." Don't wait for a reply and don't accept or expect one. Save your energy to look for a better boyfriend and be happy being you for a while :o]
Good Luck!
2006-08-12 06:32:57 · answer #2 · answered by Neil_R 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This sounds very similar to my last relationship! The honeymoon period was soon over... My ex said he would change... lots of times... but it wasn't that easy - he couldn't undo the way he's been for 30 years. He wasn't prepared to get any help to change either, maybe yours would, but it's unlikely if he is so controlling. I split up with my partner and still love him so much, I miss him every day and I would have him back in a second if he could just sort himself out! But it's not likely to happen so I just get on with life and feel in general that missing him (although it feels awful some days) is better than how I used to feel when he used to shout and swear at me and make me feel small. I am slowly growing my confidence and self-esteem back. I hope you will do the same!!!
2006-08-12 07:34:30 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is the most important thing in your life because you have made him that.
Focus on other things for a while. Think about other friends who you really like, other things you really like doing. Your current boyfriend sounds like he is trying to own you and control you. But you have your own life, your own ideas and ways of thinking. You may love him to pieces, but ask yourself every day: how is he showing that he loves me? You deserve love and respect too and it seems to me that your boyfriend can't give that to you.
It will be unpleasant when you finally break it off with him - as you surely will - but just keep saying to yourself, he will never love me as I need to be loved. (And that's different from him needing you, which I expect is what he tells you all the time).
2006-08-12 06:34:31 · answer #4 · answered by granny2006 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's the hardest thing of all to leave someone you think you love. However, by the way he's treating you, the first thing you will feel is an immediate sense of relief and release. Move on, get out there and soon you won't think of him as being the most important thing in your life.
2006-08-12 06:32:56 · answer #5 · answered by freelance_artworker 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you cant talk about it with him so things can be changed then the only way is the hard way just leave find things to do all the time hang around with family and freinds keep your self busy it will ease the pain at night the worst watch a film every night till u fall asleep i found the best way to forget just keep your self busy you will soon forget about him if you choose to leave him which looks like you should good luck with everything
2006-08-12 06:30:56 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
trust me u will get over him if u have the treinght to leave him.their are much better guys out their to treat u better. u dont need constant anger. let me guess are you guys about the same age? thats what happens. u need to get with someone at least 4 yr. older than yourself. ask yourself can you do better? true personalities shows after 2 years with someone ur lucky u cought on quickly. u dont love him ur just use to him or a year. i know its hard but u gotta do it.
2006-08-12 06:33:40 · answer #7 · answered by experiance 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you really think you love him there is no point in automatically giving up give him a note telling him your feelings and walk away and don't answer him in any way for a wile and soon if he feels the same about you hell be begging for forgiveness and come crawling back!
2006-08-12 06:38:56 · answer #8 · answered by ~♥~Nay~♥~ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to sit him down and tell him what he is doing to your relationship, tell him if he isnt prepared to try and change for the better then you are gone.. and mean it too
dont mean to be a pessimest but people are usually who they are and changing is a difficult thing to do but if he loves you he will try his very best and if you do have to leave him at least you will know you gave him a chance. good luck xx
2006-08-12 06:38:59 · answer #9 · answered by missnikid 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think u need to sit him down and talk to him and tell him what u feel and hes do to the same. or maybe u both need time apart for few days to see how much u like one other
2006-08-12 06:33:14 · answer #10 · answered by zoe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In time your heart will heal. You should be the strong one by leaving him, if you think this relationship is going nowhere then there is no point in clinging to it.
2006-08-12 06:33:19 · answer #11 · answered by nononsense 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋