i am very worried. i am in mumbai n she is in delhi. v have never stayed wid each other. i lied 2 my parents n got married 2 her. now she abuses my mother calling her a whore n me son of a whore. she has physically abused me. she has been divorced be4 n is 6 yrs elder n has a **** load of health problems. i try my best 2 leave her but somehow she gets her way back. now is very demanding n wants me 2 leave my mom 4 good. plzzz suggest 4 god's sake wat shud i do??? i feel suicidal also?? i have a nice business also. my parents r very worried 4 me.
2006-08-11 21:03:09 · 16 answers · asked by raving_metal 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well, in some measure it depends on local law. In some countries, husbands and wives are allowed to do whatever they like to each other (except killing them), and the police can do nothing. If that is your situation, then you need to fix your relationship legally, with separation or divorce, so that if she gets physically abusive, you can get the police involved.
That having been said, you did marry her and unless she is also cheating on you, your relationship with her remains unbroken in God's eyes, whether or not you are divorced 'on paper'. So you need to be faithful.
And yes, you need to somehow love her, if only as an enemy. Start by remembering that she is a human being and has her dignity given to her by God (even if she makes bad use of it). Then try to understand what her thinking is, what place her abusive behavior occupies in it. It may be her family 'solved' all their problems by violence and she simply absorbed that and doesn't have a better way to deal with her problems. At any rate, remain calm and try to find out what is really bothering her.
Another thing: understand where the line of responsibility is. She is not responsible for your bad feelings, and you are not responsible for hers. Your feelings come from the way you think about and look at the situation. You may need to come up with ways of thinking about the situation which are less hurtful to you.
Another thing: when you get married, you are supposed to leave father and mother. This does not at all mean that you disappear from their lives, or don't take care of them if they are in need. Of course, you stay in their lives and take care of them.
However, it does mean you put your wife first - before anyone except God. Regardless of how she treats you. And it sounds like she may perceive you as putting your Mom first, and that may be why she wants you to leave her.
So, yeah, you might need to make some changes in your relationship with your mother, and make that effort to show your wife that you put her first. Find out what she thinks the best way to say 'I love you' is.
Above all, remember that your wife has absolutely nothing to say about your value as a person - no matter what she says, you are a precious creature of God. It is possible to find your happiness in Him regardless of the situation. People even manage to do it when they are put in prison and tortured for their faith.
For that matter, my father is married to a very difficult woman (not my biological mother). He still loves his wife after nearly 40 years of being together, and he once told me what his secret is: he is simply grateful for what he has, whatever good he finds in her.
Here are some verses you may find helpful:
On marriage: Genesis 2:24; Matthew 19:3-6; 1 Corinthians 7:10-16
On love (part 1): Genesis 1:27-28; Isaiah 53 (all); John 3:16; Isaiah 56:1-8; John 10:14-16; Matthew 19:11-12; Hebrews 3:7-4:11; Isaiah 61:1-3; Luke 4:14-21; Jeremiah 31:3; Lamentations 3:22-23
On love (part 2): Deuteronomy 6:5; Leviticus 19:18; Matthew 5:21-26, 38-48; Matthew 7:12; Matthew 25:31-40; John 15:9-13; Romans 12:14-21; 1 Corinthians 13 (all)
Hope this helps - may God bless you!
2006-08-11 22:19:32 · answer #1 · answered by songkaila 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have never experienced this with anyone personally or myself, but I do know a few women that I imagine are difficult to live with and I am sure are verbally abusive. Its very hard to prove though. I suppose that is part of the reason why it is not seen as damaging as physical abuse. To me it is just as harmful, both to the person and the relationship (and any children involved) and is grounds for leaving the relationship. Best of luck. No one deserves to be in a relationship like this.
2016-03-26 22:45:08 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey honey, ya know this isn't healthy. Get out of that relationship. Definitely better people out there to be around. Why settle for the worst. Get a divorce and move on. Why let her do that to you? Do you actually feel that you love her even though she treats you like that? And you don't live together? That makes it even easier! Dont answer her calls or messages. There are how many women in this world? Isn't like you wont find someone else.
2006-08-12 02:15:14 · answer #3 · answered by furbee_4 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you have a very weak personality? I can never treat my man like that! Wives are supposed to submit to their husbands not the other way around. If you have already left her, how was she able to get back? Because she convinced you that she has changed? Once you leave her, leave her for good, no turning back whatever happens... Of course, if you have principles like she's your wife now and forever, don't ever expect that peace will come instantly. Peace in your home can come but it will be a long wait... God bless you...
2006-08-11 21:16:39 · answer #4 · answered by Ai 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all please do not commet suicide that is never the answer. It may get you out of the situation your in but it would hurt the ones that love you very much. As far as your wife goes you have to decide what most important for you. The abuse or your happiness. Take it from someone who has been in a simular situation it's not going to get any better. Love yourself brother
2006-08-11 21:22:50 · answer #5 · answered by D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Any woman worth a **** wouldn't do any of those things. Call the police when she hits you and tell her you will not tolerate her disrespecting your parents or you like that. And remember no one is worth taking your life for, NO ONE!!! Things always get better, you just have to make the right decisions for them to get better. Staying with her is not going to make life better for you. Do not tolerate her behavior! You could get a restraining order so she cant weasel her way back in anymore. I would love to say slap that %itch to the ground but then that would make you like her. Just get away from her. Life is to short to live like that
2006-08-11 21:15:21 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
LOL...dude leave her ***!!! At least make sure you document everything she does and say. Even record it if you can and have witnesses. Just in case you leave her you have the perfect reason. If not you guys will be playing "he said she said" game. Anyways leave her ***!!!!
2006-08-11 21:12:45 · answer #7 · answered by *ICE* 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please no matter what leave her!! No one will treat you worse than YOU ALLOW them to treat you!! Tell who ever you can and who ever will listen to you , get help and get out of there!! Before some one gets really hurt or dies because of the abuse.
2006-08-11 21:10:10 · answer #8 · answered by sugarsweeteegrl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just get rid of her by divorcing her.
2006-08-11 21:14:22 · answer #9 · answered by Awais 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Divorce her...she maybe suffering from mental illness...
2006-08-11 21:11:27 · answer #10 · answered by chona a 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋