I have a 12 year old daughter who dresses like any other student at her school and she doesn't wear any make-up at all other than transparent lip gloss. She never wears short skirts to school but the kids always call her a slut. I don't get why the kids give my daughter that label when she has many friends and she's very kind and generous. Can someone help me??
2006-08-11 20:58:38 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
Ohh sorry yahoo blocks these things. **** is slu t.
2006-08-11 21:04:24 · update #1
There could be several reasons for this.
Just remember.....just because you "think" you're daughter isn't a certain way, doesn't mean she isn't. Remember you have to realize many kids are the opposite of what their parents think. Unforunately most parents will completely deny it, when it is, in fact true. You're daughter could be doing things with people you don't know about.
Or......maybe she's a flirty person. If she seems to "flirt" with a lot of guys.....all the time......then that could be a reason for being labeled a "slut".
Or..........it could be jealousy. If she truely is what you think she is, she might be and she might not be (always keep that in mind).....if she has a lot of friends, including guy friends.....other girls will get jealous of that and will start calling her names and spread rumors. If they aren't true (only your daughter knows if it's true or not).....then she shouldn't care. If nothing they say is true, she really should ignore it. Anyone who knows her will know what is or isn't true......and if they are all false....then that's one way to find out who your real friends are.
2006-08-11 21:39:08 · answer #1 · answered by £i£-ßrAt 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's just the stage of bully and labels will start. It can be jealousy, it can be the mouths of adults that children pick up and figure that is how they treat others, she could of done something and they now use that against her (even if it wasn't a big deal. It is just another way for them to take that situation and make her feel bad. Ex: first kiss. Now they will say she is the future make out queen. stupid stuff like that).
Your daughter could be very pretty and more developed than some of these girls too. That makes other girls insecure and jelouse. Girls will be girls when comes to boy competition. Young and still very immature. Your daughter might be mature about it and the girls don't know how to act towards that. Need to make sure your daughter appreciates her beauty and not shame it as some girls feel it is a "curse" and wish to cover it up to not get the attention.
What you don't see is what you don't know. What can be going on at school can be different than what you hear or view.
If it gets too out of hand. Investigate the situation and the kids who are calling her this. If it starts to affect her school work and her self esteem, I recommend discussing this with parent/teacher meeting encouraging awareness of improper behaviors.
You will find this. Whether you are 12 or 21 or 50 years of age. Teachers will also let you know this is a way of life and she needs to learn how to get through conflict. Which I agree. However, there is a line to be drawn too.
2006-08-12 04:09:16 · answer #2 · answered by Mutchkin 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think name calling doesn't always have to do with the actual name. If they call her a s**t it could be anything. It may not have anything to do with how she dresses. I have a friend that told me once that those that call eachother a s**t could be just jealous over other things. I had an ex-boyfriend that called me that just because I TALKED to other guys besides him.....Jealousy!
I think it's a generalized insult though. I think people say it without saying it the way it is meant to be said. Perhaps she did really good on a test, kids got jealous, and it's a simple name they could think of to call her. Kids are sooo cruel.
I think a lot of it could be jealosy. Help her build confidence in herself because I remember other girls teasing me just cause I was fun to tease and didn't stick up for myself. Those days sucked, but they pass eventually....some people never grow up...but perhaps you can help her get past it.
And if there really was any reason why she should be called that, the other kids I think are still immature for name calling like that.
2006-08-12 04:10:51 · answer #3 · answered by pizzagirl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, a lot of people seem to think it's jealousy... Which it could be... but how well do you know your daughter? I want you to honestly ask yourself that... She's 12... I know how young that sounds, but it is possible she's already had sex... The first girl in my grade at school to lose her virginity was 12 when she lost it... I'm not saying your daughter is having sex or anything at all like that, but I am letting you know girls can seem much more innocent than they are! (Trust me, I'd know, my mom has no idea) If your daughter has been drifting away a lot recently, that might be reason to be concerned... It could be as simple as she has a new bf and some girls are jealous, or it could be that she's sucking dick and having sex... I don't know your daughter so I can't say...
2006-08-12 04:17:59 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
yes perhaps shes leading too many guys on but doesnt even know it..also perhaps many guys are giving her atention and other girls are jealous..also, maybe some boy asked her out and she refused and so now hes trying to ruin her reputation..its also possible that perhaps you really dont know what your daughter is like in school (this is not meant to offend..its just a thing that really does happen, some parents know their kids, but they really dont..)
also anme calling now a days is pretty normal..kids are just cruel to ine another..its all a part of growing up..
2006-08-12 06:06:23 · answer #5 · answered by shana 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly kids are cruel to eachother and it happens. They gang up and prey on the meek (thinking they are weak). A lot of times it's about one or two kids who have self-esteem issues or come from bad homes and the rest of the kids just join in to belong. It's discouraging to see it happen and have nothing you can do to fix it. I grew up being one of the bullied girls and I have a son who is 2 1/2 and my goal is to teach him to be considerate of others and have the ability to protect himself if he has to while still maintaining his intellect.
Hmm...how you could remedy the situation? You might sit your daughter down and ask her if she could think of anything that might make this stop. She lives in this generation and coupled with your wisdom of life, you might come up with a solution. You can't make a fuss at school because it would only make it worse for her. You can't make her into what is accepted since it will only compromise her, since what is accepted is just wrong anymore. You may just have to be the one person who can listen to her and let her know that it's wrong and that she will just have to be strong and keep her intelligence about people and what they are capable of. If you have ever worked in an office situation, you know that there are adults who still pull this crap but you just have to rise above it and remember that you are the bigger person for doing so. It's discouraging to accept that you have to deal with people who have problems and be hurt in the process but you can't dwell on it because it will only bring you down. Good luck to you and your daughter.
2006-08-12 05:07:00 · answer #6 · answered by chrissy757 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps your daughter is naturally sensuois (sp?) and she innocently is not aware of this. This could be making her peers envious as your daughter could be attracting the attention of the boys.
Don't worry about it. As long as you and she knows she is not a ****.
2006-08-12 04:05:46 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
girls that are in my school call girls that because they are either upset with them because they might of stole their boyfriends or their best friends or just because there jealous. also my best friend is called one of them and that her fault because she flirts with every guy she sees and even when she is with her boyfriend.
also if that whats going on... she'll end up dating guys from other schools that dont really know her and dont really care as long as they have a bootie call waiting.
2006-08-12 06:30:27 · answer #8 · answered by loved "N" confused 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
people always said that about me in school too. which was totally not true. sometimes kids are just mean and they say things. she just needs to either ignore it or stand up for herself.
2006-08-12 04:46:55 · answer #9 · answered by tiffany228 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i know........they do that most of the time cuz the girls get jealous because the boys like her i know thats stupid.just telll her to not listen to them itll happen to a lot of ppl
2006-08-12 04:07:04 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋