2006-08-11 20:40:25 · 13 answers · asked by pickle head 6 in Society & Culture ➔ Mythology & Folklore
Lakota Bob....you and your Garden Gnomes are in immediate, possibly life threatening danger! You must follow my instructions if you hope to have any chance to survive.
Don't hesitate....don't think about it. Just do it and do it now! If you delay, your Garden Gnomes will be really frightened.
1 - Activate your primary and secondary shields
2 - Hail the aliens on all channels using the Universal Translator to warn them to cease and desist
3 - Fire a photon torpedo across the bow of each UFO
4 - If they continue to frighten your Garden Gnomes then "fire all phasers" and destroy these trouble makers
Good luck and and the United Federation of Planets stands ready to assist you.
And don't froget that once you've done all the above, remember to take your meds and check yourself back into the nuthouse.
2006-08-11 21:45:19 · answer #1 · answered by iraq51 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, you're going to have to set up some crop circles a few neighborhoods down, and get rid of the ones on your lawn, because that's what is attracting them in the first place. It's probably best to put the crop circles in the yard of someone you hate. Especially if they rarely go outside, because they're less likely to get rid of them.
Secondly, keep the Gnomes a safe distance from your gazing ball. Even a Level 32 mage knows that! Make sure to store your gazing ball in a cool dry place where it's unlikely to chaffe. Keep the Garden Gnomes outside where they belong, and make sure to leave them fresh fruit every day so they can attract birds to eat. If you do this, the Gnomes will be able to put up with a few accidental frights because Gnomes are not known for their hunting prowess, and will enjoy the fact that you have the birds coming to them.
Best of luck! Cheers!
2006-08-12 03:57:01 · answer #2 · answered by Eri 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Finally a decent question!! It's easy just sit next to the blazing balls and the garden gnomosexuals,they will fly rite back where they come from,I personally guarantee this.
2006-08-12 03:47:27 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
garden gnomes are easily scarred..so there is no way ufo's woundn't put the fear of god into them. your gazing balls on the other hand, get rid of them. they attract UFOs. you are probably next on their list to be abducted.
2006-08-12 15:18:06 · answer #4 · answered by LongAgo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Buy those cute gnomes that moon people; aliens will think they're hostile and steer clear away from them.
2006-08-12 03:46:17 · answer #5 · answered by Mr. Wizard 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
give me your address and i will send round the trolls
they are specially trained to handle aliens but they do have a bad habit of eating gnomes
2006-08-12 03:45:01 · answer #6 · answered by gwaz 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Fashion yourself a cone out of aluminum foil, and wear it on your head always, even in public. also, wrap the foil around your arms and chest and duct tape it on real good, so they won't see you, or read your mind!!!
2006-08-12 03:46:21 · answer #7 · answered by snafu22bohica 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hit it with a rock
2006-08-12 03:48:06 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why, by putting up that tin foil roof of course!
2006-08-12 03:43:17 · answer #9 · answered by dreamcatweaver 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
put a lifesize cut out of captian james t. kirk in your garden......
even the aliens are tired of him!!!
2006-08-12 03:45:04 · answer #10 · answered by rock 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋