Is there such thing as happines after an affair???

Question

God knows I luv my hubbie and would love to spend the rest of my liife with him, but after finding out on dec 05 that he had had an affair on nov 04 through april 05, I have been devastated it's all I ever think about and 8 months later I still find myself crying. i mean I know that I wont trust him for a while but when DOES THIS PAIN GO AWAY, WHEN WILL MY HAPPINESS RETURN, or is it gone forever

Answer 1

you say you love him, love is unconditional. everyone has messed up in life. after all it's our first time living it. you live and learn. if he knows the mistake he made and learned from it, you should forget the past and move on.
if you hate this girl for being withhim in bed, how do you think you are going to feel if you let what she did, make you loose him forever.
guys are not like girls. good chance it was just for the sex. no different then if he would of masterbated on the ground. girls always thinks he.....gave his love to her...........when in fact all he did was bang her.
its a big world out there. and there are lots of people who would never do you that way. But they will never be him, or replace him.
love is hard to find.....that is the real thing....
ask yourself this.......
if i stopped by your house and had sex, would you love him any different after i left?
people **** up......
if you have never did anything that you dont later regret.......
then cast the first stone.

Answer 2

There was once a saying that said: "The pain never really goes away. It is like a weight ...very heavy at first, but overtime as you get used to carrying that weight around, it gets lighter and lighter until you become so strong that you could hardly feel the weight anymore. Do not ask for a lighter load, rather...ask for a stronger back."
I'm sorry you had to go through this but perhaps what you need is more time to heal. I guess it's like grieving for a beloved who has passed away. It needs time. The happiness is not gone. You just have to find it within yourself again.

Answer 3

The problem is that THERE WILL NEVER BE TRUST again in your relationship and that is almost 100% certain. Without trust, there are other issues that may prevent happiness from existing again. Will he do it again? Why did he do it? Am I not good enough? I'm sure these are some of the questions that went or go through your mind.

I'm sorry, but it will all depends on how much you're willing to forget, forgive and trust again.

Answer 4

Funny, so many in the same position, yet no one knows what the right answer is but you. I know I would never forget....
I like the get out of jail free card idea but 2 wrongs don't make a right. If its all you think about now, then you are not happy. You cant fall or stay in love with someones potential. Fall or stay based on the reality.

Answer 5

Husbanbs are bastards, mos't guys are not that bad,however there are those that are just son-of -a bitchas I just don't know how you are susposed to know the the difference. men think about sex all the time I,m pretty sure you don't but HE DOES move on or find someone that dos'nt expeccc bso mucht.sorry I drink some dose's he drink .is he abusive ? dose cause you any mental abuseWithin-reason because I'm suse that you caus him greafe too you know wghat marriage is right?

Answer 6

Janet you are right to mistrust him he might stray again and if he did would you be able to take him back one more time.
The true problem is that no matter how long passes every time you look into his eyes there will be his betrayal of your union together . He might stay faithful for all of your days now but you will doubt him every day . sorry for your pain , just love him I hope you can find the trust once again

Answer 7

Well that depends on how you look at it....My EX cheated on me for 21 years! I ended up kicking him to the curb and now I have long since remarried and am happier then I have ever been. So for me YES there was definate happiness after my EX cheated! My EX can't keep a woman now and continues to spiral downward in his life! Hey Karma is a Biatch! What goes around comes around! He got what he deserved and thank gawd so did I!! :)

Answer 8

I think it is gone forever with this person he took so much from you your security trust self esteem and respect I think after someone cheats your relationship will never be the way it was before the affair.

Answer 9

I have the same problem years ago ,,,

If I were u , i sterted to understand this important rull :

everyone who comes to our life has a time , let's try to get it and to do not insted to keep ppl around ourselve, it can be harnfull,
it means that as soon as u can realize that limited time , u can adapt urself with his/her leaving. it doesn't matter who is it , maybe a friend , bf/gf , or a family member ,

nothing last forever,

wish u luck and try to be patient

Answer 10

dont worry, happiness is with you. if your husband realized his fault and apologized to you , you may forgieve him and concentrate to strengthen the relationship with him stronger day by day. and definitely you can do it, as you have that urge from your heart, you said: you are ready to spend rest of your life with him. so be positive and work accordingly. you would be successful. show your husband such love so that he becomes your slave and never ever dare to look at another woman. both of you have discussions and let him know about your views.