What should I do to help her or him get help? He lost his job 2 yrs. ago and has started drinking and druggin. I think he has lost his confidence in himself and doesn't know what to do to get out of the boat he is in.They are borderline of loosing their home and they have two kids (one is handicap)
2006-08-11 20:09:59 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Other - Society & Culture
On 7/31/06 I took my friend to MCV because her hands were numb and she had retained 6lbs. of fluid.The doc's said that her potassium was extremely high and she has carpulsyndrome in both hands,10% in one and 45% usage in the other.That night her husband found a beer in the car that she had let a friend drive to the store.The friend is in AA and is staing w/ them for a month til she gets on her feet again.He was screaming and breaking stuff in the house and his wife said she was leaving(not going to listen to it) he started pushing her around and had her on the floor in the head lock.I tried to pull him off and he knocked me down.Then their son was crying(stop it) he then kicked him in the stomache still w/ her in the head lock,so I picked up a bar stool and wacked him over the head w/ the legs and busted his head open.He came at me and punched me in the head and I fell to the floor.Once he realized that he was bleeding I ran to my car and went to her father's and told him.
2006-08-11 20:31:59 · update #1
call the cops the next time it happens.
Whack him over the head with a frying pan.
Wait till he goes to sleep and then you got him .
2006-08-11 20:14:19 · answer #1 · answered by chris p 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
That's sad to hear.. Maybe you can try to help him find a job ... But, he shouldn't be beating his wife no matter what, that's not right. You can talk to them and see if there is anything you can help them with. The husband can also go to see a counselor .....Also, what is the reason that cause him to start drinking and drugging? They can sell their home for a higher price than they bought in the first place and that will help pay off the mortgage and stuff and even make some profit and then they can move to a cheaper place. The wife can also try to look for jobs and work. You can help them find jobs or if they need financial help, you can offer your help to them temporarily until they can find jobs...
If it's just difficult to find jobs where they are at, then they should consider relocate to a bigger city where there are more jobs.
But, the husband seems to be pretty violent....
2006-08-11 20:28:13 · answer #2 · answered by Raines 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a very sad situation. Your firend needs your emotional support now more than ever. The fact that there are children in this dangerous situation is even worse, esepcailly when one is diabled. I would have a word with your local community police officer. Most police stations have an officer who deals with domestic violences case and they could pay him a visit. He definitely needs help, drug and alcohol rehabilitiation. Violent men rarely change though, unless they are prepared to adress the problem and attend couselling or psycotherapy. If he is unprepared to address his problems she should leave him for the sake of the children. Her immediate problem is impending homelessness so she has to see a scoial worker asap. Also talk to her bank manager or court.
You would be surprised how lenient they can be when they understand the circumstances and if she offers to make some regular payments howvever small. Communication is vital. Her most immediate problem is to get rid of the loser in her life. He does sound beyond redemption, a selfish drug taking violent man is not only damaging to her heatlh and sanity but also to her children.
2006-08-11 20:23:00 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
with no job and a handicapped child there is obviously a lot of strain in this marriage, but beating someone up is not excusable.
Get your friend or maybe you can help find respite care for the handicap child and maybe another relative will look after the other child, then both husband and wife need some couple time together and some counselling to see if the marriage can be saved. Having a regular night out together to renew their relationship might also help. Even if the husband has no job, maybe he can volunteer to help with either the charity associated with his childs handicapped or counselling other drug users, he needs to feel worthwhile, not just another burden for his wife
hope they sort it out#
2006-08-11 20:19:47 · answer #4 · answered by Breeze 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
have a 3 some.
2006-08-11 20:17:37 · answer #5 · answered by kurleylovescheese 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Offer her (and her kids) a place to stay and report the husband. There is no excuse for beating another human... especially your family. He needs to open his eyes and see that he is not only hurting himself through the drugs and alcohol, but he is dramatically effecting his family. He needs to wake-up and see the bigger picture. Rehab and some serious penalties for abuse will do the trick! Sure he may still love his family very much, but that doesn't mean that they need to sit there and subject themselves to his abusive, drunken, drugged behavior. They deserve better then that and if they love him then they will get him help... some serious corrective help. If he really and truly loves them he will accept the help with open arms! This is mostly up to your friend to see through. The most you can do is suggest these options to her... the rest is completely up to her. Remind her that she isn't only making the decision for herself, but also for her children. If he is hitting her today, but she decides that she'd rather let him deal with this his own way and not get help for him, then who's to say that tomorrow he wont be hitting the children, event he handicapped one?! People on drugs and alcohol don't stop to think about these things, they just do them.
~God bless
2006-08-11 20:24:33 · answer #6 · answered by Girl 4 God 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
TIME invested in ANY relationship should NOT affect ones safety and health....Comfort your friend for life. Encourage HELP for the abuser...if HE accepts help, GREAT, but if he doesn't...keep encouraging but don't over do it cause it's their choice your just being there for your love and comfort, anyones health and well being should be protected as much as possible...don't let the "years of being Married" be a question on what to do...it's sad to hear yes, after those many years but..they both need help but they BOTH need to realize it and be grown up about it!
2006-08-11 20:28:34 · answer #7 · answered by Cherries 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just try to help your friend in every way you can & try to get your friends husband to go to counsiling just for him,then suggest marriage counsling or maybe for the entire family bcuz it's got to have some kind of emotional stress on the children as well.As for the job situation i would tell him to take anything for right now just to have some kind of money coming & in the mean time he can always look for something better---'cuz u know every little bit helps!!!!!
2006-08-11 20:26:06 · answer #8 · answered by Carebear 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is only what i would do.. I think you should talk to her about it..and see if she'll leave.. if he beats her... and has lost control, what about the children? are they beat? she may not even know he is hurting them.. He needs rehab, and they need to get out of there, or it will get worse, and something terrible could happen to those kids, and her.. and you know about it.. you have to turn him in and turn to someone if she wont walk away.
2006-08-11 20:14:14 · answer #9 · answered by GreenEyedCountryGurl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A nasty situation. There is not much that you can do except be there for emotional support. But the problems you describe they will have to work out for themselves.
2006-08-11 20:13:15 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
When a friend is suffering from Physical violence, it is okay to help her stay clear of the perpetrator. You should encourage your friend to leave. He may get home on his own.
2006-08-11 20:13:49 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋