How to take the pain away?

Question

Ive been in a roller coaster relationship with an older man for five years. Ive come to the conclusion that I need to leave him.
I want to get married and he obviously doesnt but wont tell me.
Five years is long enough to wait for a committment.
My problem is fear. Whenever I leave him alone, something happens to make me go back to him. My heart feels empty without him, I ache when I dont see or talk to him and when I do finally see him again, I get the butterfly feeling in my gut. I somehow feel complete again, once we have made up.
He is much older than I and sex is not a major factor (he has problems in that area)
Once we broke up and I got engage to someone else for 6 months. Someone how he managed to slip back into my life. The engagement was not broke because of him...there were other problems, BUT the point Im trying to make is How do I let go, And move on for good.

Answer 1

OK you are not in a healthy place.you have some things to fix in your own life. you must think and figure out what they are and be honest with your self when you do this or you'll never get better. as for him, leave now, and i mean LEAVE NOW!!!!!!!...... he will hold on to you as long as you let him, you must leave and not look back. the reason you get back with him is because of your own issues. your relation ship with this man is not a healthy one and you know this, so stop playing this game with him take control of you life and move on you know what you want so do it leave and heal your issues and fulfill you life desire to be a married woman.

PS please take stock of your self because an emotionally healthy woman will attract an emotionality healthy man. you deserve to be happy, the best thing you can do for your self is to heal your soul and you mind no man can do this for you only you can do this for you...

Answer 2

Gosh that sounds like a tough situation. Maybe you have a good thing going with him. Is marriage that important that you're willing to leave the man you love? Personally, I don't ever want to get married, but would love to have a long term relationship. Some guys will never be able to committ to marriage or are, like me, scared of it for whatever reason.

I don't think his reluctance to get married should automatically disqualify him from being part of your life.

You asked how to let go, so it sounds like you've made up your mind to leave. The only way you're going to be able to do it is to physically move away from him and take all your things. You have to make it impossible to go back to him by either distancing yourself geographically or telling yourself that when times get tough you won't go see him again. Time heals all wounds.

I kinda feel sorry for the guy. He has some sexual problems and is probably really underconfident that marriage would ever work. Maybe you need to take some time away for yourself and do some soul searching.

Good luck

Answer 3

Well, I was in a sorta similar situation. The most obvious thing I can tell you is that if you think you need to let go, then you should not marry this guy. Just the smallest doubt regarding marriage and it shouldn't be done. Now, maybe you'd want to check in with a therapist. Maybe. I just think that any doubt about marriage and you should back out. Maybe a therapist can better sort things out, though. Good Luck, and again, when in doubt, back out.

Answer 4

You need to believe you are stong enough to leave for good and mean it. This means not calling him or talking to him, so he can talk you into coming back. You deserve to get married if that is what you want, so don't waste the best years of your live on someone who doesnt have the same goal.

Answer 5

You have to break it off with him, for good. Do not allow him back into your life, for any reason. Yes, it will hurt. Change your phone number and unlist it, change your cell #, do what ever you have to do to make yourself inaccessible to him. You deserve a man who will make the commitment of marriage to you, you just have to tell yourself that, over and over. He's slipping back into your life all these other times because you let him, so don't let him!! Be strong, you'll be glad in the long run you were. You'll find someone who wants you for you, and will be willing to make that lifelong commitment to you. Best of luck to you!

Answer 6

i wont say that i have the cure for your dilema because im sure you have tried all possible way to removed him from your life well maybe your really in love w/ the guy asked him promptly like in your face that he better marry you because your absolutely in love w/ him other wise your gonna walk away & he wont find a woman who would be madly in love w/ him even though he has some problem in his manhood. this is called SHOCK TREATMENT im sure you would be shock upon hearing this but try it but you have to be decisive treat this as your last ace only use this if you fel that this is the last thing that you would do & after this "humuliation" your through w/ him.

Answer 7

Plain and simple he's not giving you what you want because he can't because he is probably married and therefore just a loser And anyway even if he was willing to comit to you and hurt someone els,wife kids ect, still what a loser!!!! i tell you to run!

Answer 8

well honey it sounds to me like your hooked maybe you dont need to move on it fate if you keep getting back with him something tells me that you dont really want to move on you just want a marriage but it sometimes it takes time.

Answer 9

Take a good disicion and select one way.

Answer 10

Find someone to take his place.