i need some advice on my marrage.........?

Question

we have been married for 2 months and i just realized he is ocpd.......obsessive,compulsive,personality disorder........he's driving me nuts!!!!!!i love him with all my heart.......but the scheduals and perfection and lists and organizing everthing is taking over our marrage.......i have talk to him about it but he doesn't feel he needs help..........what do yall think? anything he does is color cordinated,alphabetical order measured or drawn out to a tee............i like to be neat and tidy too, but this is crazzzzzzzzzzzzy...........advice

Answer 1

I SAW A COUPLE OF ANSWERS TO YOUR QUESTION THAT I DID NOT FEEL WERE TOCCOMPASIONATE TO YOU. YOU ARE VERY IMPORTANT AND YOU ODVIOUSLY WERE IN LOVE TO MARRY. SOMEONE WHO HAS OCPD IS VERY HARD TO LIVE WITH . AND THIS IS NOT ONLY HIS PROBLEM, IT HAS NOT BECOME VERY MUCH YOUR PROBLEM. THE FACT THAT HE DOESNT SEE IT AS A BIG ENOUGH PROBLEM TO LOOK INTO IT MAKE IT EVEN HARDER FOR YOU. LIFE,LOVE AND MARRIAGE IS HARD ENOUGH ON ITS OWN. BUT, WITH THE PRESSURE OF THIS ON YOU JUST MAGNIFIES THIS SO EXTREMLY FOR YOU. I ONLY CAN SUGGEST YOU TO LOOK INTO THIS YOURSELF BECAUSE IF NOT IT WILL EVENTUALLY RUIN YOUR MARRIAGE AND I WOULD HATE THAT FOR YOU.
BUT YOUMUST THINK ABOUT YOURSELF MAYBE YOU CAN RESEARCH SOME ON THE NET AND SHOW SOME OF IT TO HIM. BE PREPARED WELL WHEN YOU SHOW HIM SOME OF THE INFO. YOU COME UP WITH. THE STRESS IS ODVIOUSLY OVERWELMING FOR YOU. IF NOT YET IT SEEMS IT WILL BE SOON.AND IF YOU LOVE YOUR PARTNER AND WANT TO SAVE THIS MARRIAGE, IT SEEMS THAT YOU WILL HAVE TO DO THE HARD WORK TO APPROACH HIM WITH THE RESULTS. MAYBE HE IS EMBARESSED AND DOES NOT WANT TO FACE IT. HE MUST KNOW HE IS DOING THESE THINGS. UNGORTUNATELY HE DIDI NOT SHARE THIS WITH YOU BEFORE YOUR MARRIAGE.MANY TIMES YOU DONT KNOW SOMEONE REALLY WELL UNTIL YOU LIVE WITH THEM. BUT,YOU WILL END UP UNHAPPY IF THIS IS NOT STOPED OR AT LEAST WAY TONED DOWN. REMEMBER YOUR FIST DUTY TO YOUR HAPPINESS BELONGS TO YOURSELF .I WISH YOU AND YOUR HAPPINESS ALL THE BEST AND YOU DONT DESERVE TO BE MISERABLE. BUT, IT DOES NOT MEAN IT CANT BE WORKED OUT BECAUSE YOU MARRIAGE IS ALSO IMPORTANT TO YOUR HAPPINESS. BEST OF LUCK TO YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND . REMEMBER, THERE IS ALWAYS HOPE. AND LOVE SHOULD BE ABLE TO CONQUR ALL WITH JUST A LTTLE CONSIDERATION TO YOUR HAPPINESS ALSO.PLEASE CHECK INTO OPTIONS FOR THIS BEHAVIOR.EVEN IF IT ME MEDS TO RELAX YOUR HUBBYS NERVES SOME. I BELEIVE HE MUST HAVE SOME TYPE OF NERVOUS COND. INVOLVED THAT CAN BE HELPED. HE CANT POSSIBLY THINK THIS IS NORMAL TO THIS EXTREME.PLEASE GATHER IFO ON THIS AND SHOW IT TO HIM INSIST HE READ IT, AT LEAST THE PARTS ABOUT HOW IT AFFECTS THE SPOUSE.YOU............... YOUR WORTH IT AND REMIND HIM OF THAT BEST OF UCK TO YOU. I WILL CROSS MY FINGERS FOR YOU.

Answer 2

He obviously doesn't see how it consumes his day to day life, and yours as well. Some of these habits come from not feeling like he is in control. This is his way to control the aspects of his life that he feels he can.
The best thing for you and your marriage is to be strong for him, with him, but not against him. I'm not saying give him total control of everything. Just be sure to communicate with him, but not in an accusing way, maybe even let him know that you dint feel in control of some things that he has already attended to. You may be surprised that he understands the feelings of no control, but don't expect these behaviors to change rapidly. This is sometimes a learned behavior, and may take some time to relearn a modified behavior.
Perhaps now you can be rest assured that the small details will be looked after, and that can be relaxing for you, and he can feel in control.

Answer 3

Why did you not know this before were you foolish and rushed into marriage without knowing him. i would say you made your bed lie in it don't take the easy way out because you made a mistake make your mistake right Even though he is very very annoying try to get along somehow with him divorce is overated people just leave at the drop of a hat. Next time you could get a cheater or violent man then you would be more miserable than you are now trust me. My husband is the same way about being organized so i know have patience and try to please him even if you can't try then if it does ever end you won't feel bad. But you might surprise yourself and end up being cleaner and more organized thats what happened to me even though my husband screams at me all the time to get my purse in the rite spot or brush my hair witha straight line down the middle deep down i kinda like it now as weird as that sounds because it has changed me for the better even when you want to kill him just remeber he thinks he is helping you i'm sure.

Answer 4

Sometimes the things that we think are cute while we're dating are the very things that drive us crazy the most after marriage. I think you should meet him halfway and try out some of his organizational skills. Some of it may actually be helpful to you. The other things that just annoy you and are "overboard" tell him that you'll try it that way, but that your way is much more familiar to you and easier to follow. If you've tried it his way, he'll be more likely to try things your way and maybe he'll give a little too. It's give and take, and the first 2 years are the hardest, by far. Don't give up yet! The best is yet to come...trust me.

Answer 5

we have been merried for 18 years and still need hepl on things , find a good councelor that you are both comfortable with an dit can save you marriage over and over.everyone has idiosycracies that have to be dealt with the sooner ryou learn to talk to each other the better, an independent party is always helpful. dont tell everyone that you are goingto a therapist, keep the trust between you two.

Answer 6

you should of known this before you got married, oh well I guess that if you really love him that you would just try and get threw this , you know that told saying , you don't know someone until you live with them, yes you have to take the good with the bad,,,I'm sure that you have faults of your own, trust me nobody is perfect I've been with my hubby for 13 1/2 years but only been married for 10 years, and well it was a challenge at first but we worked threw it , so give it a chance ,,, good luck...

Answer 7

i have a problem similar like you because my husband likes everything neat and i do to but he is crazy. if you are eating and you leave he think you are done and we wash your plate or if you wake up and wanto go to bed again he fixed the bed already. was your husband the way he was whe you start with him? may be doing the same things he does make him realize what he is doing. get help your own to find out a way to help him.

Answer 8

certain it ought to technically make your spouse a step sister yet there is not any shame in that. Is that why you want your Dad no longer tho marry her? if so, it is misguided. the idea for his or her marriage might want to be compatability and love. in the adventure that they have this, then thank your fortunate stars that your Dad has stumbled on happiness.

Answer 9

If you have talked to him about how it makes you feel, then move out for 3 or 4 days. That will wake him up. Maybe then and only then he will get the hint. Good luck!

Answer 10

You love him. Don't let it bother you. You vowed to love him in sickness and in health. If he's "sick", then try to help him get over it, but if that's him, then learn to love it. Don't get a divorce whatever you do. A marriage is much more than a temperary relationship.