I don't know what to do?

Question

We've been married for 2 years now. We have 2 little boys, ages 2 and 2 months I'm 25 and my wife is 24. I told her I wanted a divorce today. She is childish and defintely lazy. Always whining and hollering around at me over little things. She doesn't like to cook or clean.She doesn't even have any friends because of her attitude.I put up with this for 3.5 years thinking she would get a little better but no I think it got worse. We work at the same place and I try to tell her we need a break from each other every once and awhile but no. She doesn't like anyone in my family and some don't like her.I don't get along with her mom at all.Damn! don't get me started on that. I really don't think if my wife was typing this she would have much things to say. I think i'm a very good husband and dad not just because i'm the one typing this. My question is should I get a divorce? If so then how do I get to at least see my kids? I would love to have full custody of them.

Answer 1

dude if i were you i would try to get mairrage counseling and then try to see if you want a divorce now if you want full custody take it to court

Answer 2

It seems that divorce is very common these days. Its basically the easy way out. But a person can only put up with so much. The ages of your boys are quiet young and can be more of a handful for a mother than a father sometimes. Mothers can be more leniant than fathers. Which can make the children mind the fathers more than the mothers. Which can make the mother very worn out. Your baby is only 2 months old. Speaking from experience her body is not fully back to normal. She may just completely lack energy. Im not sticking up for your wife. I dont know exactly the way she is. But I just want you to realize that theres a difference between just plain out tired and lazy. The best thing to do is try to remember why you fell in love with her in the first place. And think about how she was before you had children. Was her attitude always as bad as it is now? Do you just NOT love her anymore? If you do get a divorce, there is a possiblitly of you getting custody or at least fifty fifty placement. You need an attorney and you need to fight for full custody upfront. If they recommend a guardian ad litem for the children , then do so. The guardian will represent the children. Although your youngest child is only 2 months old, if she is breast feeding then most likely you will not get custody. See if you can put up with her until the baby is at least over a year and she isnt breast feeding anymore. Keep a complete record of anything that may be disturbing for the children. I speak from experience, I have four children and am recently going through a divorce with my husband. If your from Oshkosh, WI try to get the guardian at litem Kathleen Dietrich she is a byist and will always take the mans side. Good luck.............

Answer 3

The first thing you should do is ask yourself is there anything that you can do to stay in the situation - because honesty dictates that you knew how she was before you tied the knot with her. It sounds like to me that you are frustrated with yourself more than her for committing to a long term relationship knowing that she lacked qualities that you were looking for. A famous poet by the name of Maya Angelou said these words, "If a person shows you who the really are - BELEIVE THEM. If there is no way you can stay in the situation you need to get your affairs in order because the court system will not simply award you full custody of your children just because your wife is childish and lazy - that doesn't dictate that she is an unfit mom - perhaps just not ready for marriage. Again, divorce should be a last resort to the situation if you can work it out - have you ever tried to actually ask her why she doesn't like to cook or clean - It could be a result of the way that she was raised - are her parents lazy and nasty - if so she's a product of her environment - Also what is your view on cooking and cleaning? Are you viewing it from the stand that she is the only one responsible for doing it? If so she may be resentful because she feels as if she is being treated like a maid instead of a spouse - why is it her responsibility to clean up after everybody if she is not the only one making messes - the children are the exception to the rule since the are not old enough to pick up after themselves but you have the ability to help her -nobody wants to feel unappreciated in their relationship on any level - take a good look at the situation before you make any decisions

Answer 4

You should totally get a divorce. Though I think you should have done your homework better on seeing what type of person she was, but that is neither here nor there. And I think you could get your kids if you can prove that she is too lazy to even take care of them. She would be viewed as a danger to them if she doens't know how to cook and provide and take care of them. But if they don't award you custody because of that, then you'll have to come up with an agrangement for you can see your boys and have them spend time with you so she isn't around when you see them. Good luck if you decide to take this to court.

Answer 5

I think you should talk to your wife and offer and compromise her needs with yours. If you don't chances are your kids will call someone else Daddy. You owe it to your kids to make things work. If you look for solutions you can find them. Marriage is hard and well as wonderful. I think most people are quick to look at there needs, sounds like your wife was pampered. Why not buy her the proper care and feeding of husbands by Dr. Laura Schelsinger ask her to read it and ask her what you can do it return. Kids deserve to know we always try and hardest and love them best. Divorce hurts kids.

Answer 6

I am kinda going thru this myself right now. I want to stay with him b/c of our daughter but then again I am sooo bored and I want to do things he is not into and vice versa. I am 24 and we have been together since we were 17. I guess it all comes down to are you going to be happy? is this what you want out of life? I wish there was an easy solution to all this but in the end it is your life and you should really think about if you will be happy with thids decision in the long run? Do you really want to go thru custody battles and sharing your kids? E-mail me b/c I think we have similar issues and I would like to talk to you more...

Answer 7

If you can stay close get divorced take her to court be the first to file. Dont put you want full custody cause that aint gunna happen unless you got proof of her being unfit. The courts wanna see that you want whats best for your kids. Trust me been there donee that.... Good luck!

Answer 8

Yeah isn't this always the way?
Didn't you see all of the "caution" signs before the marriage and the two kids?
Have you tried marriage counseling?
Do you realize what you are subjecting your children to besides another broken home, and a bunch of emotional problems when they grow up?
I'd try counseling for a while and learn to relate and realize that both of you cannot possibly meet ALL of each others' needs.

Answer 9

contact a lawyer and go for full custody. They should send someone out to observer both of you with the children to see where they should be. Fight for them. If she really is as lazy as you say, then she would not be a good role model for your children.

Answer 10

My husband and I have been married for 27 years, and of course we've had many ups and downs. Marriage is a growing and learning process for both of you. Please don't give up on it yet. Think of everything at stake and your children. I urge both of you to go to a good marriage counseler, and really try to make things work. Marriage is work, and it's a lot of give and take. I hope this advice helps. Please love each other and try to work things out.