My girlfriend has a habit of talking to my mom about arguements that we have. Whenever they have these talks, she always makes me out to be the bad guy and only shares her side of the story. So whenever I get wind of these conversations, I get so f*ckin irritated that I blow up at my girlfriend to the point where she starts crying. Am I wrong for wanting our business to be just our business? I know that its good to get things off your chest, but why try to turn my mother against me? Or better yet, why not talk with me? Should I stop the conversations between the two? Maybe I'm just venting, but I would definitly appreciate any advise if there is some to give. Thanks.
2006-08-11 17:11:10 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
You are right and wrong. As we all know there is 3 sides to every story - Her side, your side, and the truth. I think she may be going to ur mom for insight into how she can make things better between you two. Your mom knows best how to keep u happy and what ticks you off. If i liked my husband's mom i would do the same. I don't think she's intentionally making you look bad. She is telling the story from her perspective and that's may be how you seem to her. If that's true you two do need to talk and express how u feel in a much more calm fashion. She goes elsewhere because she may not feel comfortable with approaching you because of your explosive reaction. You cant have it both ways. This may have a long term effect on her self worth and eventually cause bigger probs. with the relationship. Be patient and try to tell her again (calmly) that you don't like her talking to your mom. If after that she continues then do what u gotta. By the way you are bringing your business to the entire world, so is that any worse than her talking to ur mom? Besides, she is ur mom and she already knows what your capable of!
2006-08-11 17:32:18 · answer #1 · answered by Sheena 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that it is kinda wrong that shes talkin to your mother about it and making you seem so bad. But maybe she just needs a friend thats not you so she can express her feelings or how she sees the whole situation. And no i think your right for wanting to keep your business your business everybody dont have to know what goes on between you two.
2006-08-11 17:16:54 · answer #2 · answered by bxshorty064 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are the arguments resolved ones or ongoing ones? I believe that if you are having an ongoing argument that someone in the family is never the best person to go to for a talk. We all like to have a party on our side but morally it should be someone impartial. You can not make her stop talking to your mother but you are right in getting mad--but not in blowing up on her. Talk to her and explain to her that you do not like your arguments becoming ammo for your mother to use against you. If that doesn't work you may talk to your mother and see if you can get her to take the initiative to tell your girlfriend that she doesn't wish to be involved. Good luck
2006-08-11 17:16:43 · answer #3 · answered by freshstart_newbeginning 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to give your girlfriend to understand that if she insists on discussing matters you consider private, that you can not trust her and the relationship is over. Because without trust there can not be the type of relationship you can both be honored by.
Of course she will paint you as the bad guy, after all in her eyes you are the bad guy in this situation, you are not caving into her will or point of view. It's not going to get any better in this respect regardless of whom she talks to.
2006-08-11 17:36:48 · answer #4 · answered by Back Porch Willy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One thing is, you need to learn to control your anger. Maybe she is seeking help to try to make things better for you and her, all you are doing is dragging her down and she will eventually leave you because of the anger. She does have a right to talk about things, especially things she is seeking help about. Maybe you need to get help with this serious anger problem.
2006-08-11 17:17:45 · answer #5 · answered by kf4wwe 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO ur not wrong to get irritated. Your girlfriend should keep ur arguments between the two of you. If she has to vent then it should be to one of her gfs, not YOUR mother!
2006-08-11 17:16:01 · answer #6 · answered by Hilllbilly_gal 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should be irritated. Sounds to me the reason she does that, is because she's guilty of whatever you guys argue about, and she's trying to make you look bad to your mother, because she thinks your're gonna tell your mother something bad about her. It's all about insecurities.
2006-08-11 17:19:44 · answer #7 · answered by keepingitreal 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe she is just talkin to ur mom because she knows that your mom knows you better then her and that she might provide some insight she might have over looked...i mean its normal i used to do it all the time and he did not mind a bit. i guess its just some times things make us so mad that we just cant talk to a person who they concern and gettin an insight from some one who knows that person is better..besides its not like ur mom would think ur bad cuz of ur gf...... thats stupid. ur her son....any way i think that ur gf thinks of ur mom sort of a role model person
2006-08-11 18:04:55 · answer #8 · answered by Love Exists? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she obviously goes to your mom becuz she listens to her rather tahn blowing up. it sounds like you are just difficult to talk to.
Even though what she says you may not agee with you STILL have to listen to stop her from going to other people.
you are going to have to win her trust back cuz communication is very important to a relationship you wanna keep
2006-08-11 17:16:51 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds to me like she just needs someone to talk to or shes tellin ur mom so ur mom will get on ur case about it
2006-08-11 17:19:53 · answer #10 · answered by cowboy76360 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋