Please help, my wife has been chatting with an old high school friend (male) and she confides personal stuff?

Question

to him and not to me because she says I exhaust her when she tries to talk to me.She chats with him for hours a day at work as well as at home and also gets e-mails from him.She wants me to be ok with this and she says she still loves me for sure but on the other hand,she loves him as a friend and wants to be able to hang out with him.She says she would never cheat on me and I suppose I trust her,but I am not comfortable with this situation at all.She has a son from a previous relationship who is 9 years old now.I have been in his life for the most part since he was 1 1/2 yrs old.I did walk out on her with no explanation way before we ever got married and moved right in with another woman.I have no explanation on why I did this other than I did not communicate with her like I should have and I blame mostly myself for that.It never worked out with the other woman and we got back together and eventually married.We agreed we would be open and honest after we got back together.Help

Answer 1

Sure, you are going to have this feeling of jealousy, and rightfully so. But show her that you care and trust her, this is the key to most relationships.
When she talks to you are you talking while the TV is on or other activities are taking place? If you are then you must not be truely listening to her. Make time everyday, yes I said everyday to listen to what the other is trying to communicate to you. No matter how boring or trivial the conversation might be. She should in turn also listen to you. Dont make this time a b i t c h session between the two of you. This should be time between you two to work on the foundation of your relationship. Leave the sex out of this no matter what. Dont associate this conversation time with foreplay or sex time. If you have concerns about what is going on between the two of you this should be the time to talk about them. An also no matter what, do not raise your voice to her during the conversation time. This will only make her want close up this avenue that you are trying to open.
In the end, if she doesnt respect you for trying to make the change for her to be able to communicate with you freely, then the relationship is doomed.
Good luck with your heavy task at hand.

Answer 2

Hmm, I definitely think you have reason to be concerned. I mean...the relationship is probably completely platonic, but I think this would make anyone uncomfortable. I have a feeling that if you hooked up with some old high school female friend, she might not be so understanding.

I am trying to think of how I would handle this situation, but it is really hard to know. She is having an emotional affair whether she wants to admit it or not. I know that isn't what you wanted to hear, but that's what I would call it. I would confront her about it and call it what it is,..an emotional affair. I would tell her that you would be willing to go to marital therapy and do everything it takes to make this marriage work.

If she doesn't agree to go...then she atleast needs to hear how you are feeling about this. You might try asking her if it would be okay with her if you would start talking to an old friend...like I say, the reaction probably wouldn't be too good. It's always amazing how things are when the tables are turned. Sorry to hear you are going through this..stay strong. Good luck!

Answer 3

properly she is confiding in you and in case you eventually finally end up telling her mom approximately particularly some the themes she is telling then you definately specific that's incorrect. I propose till particularly some the failings are existence threathening. She is trusting you like a chum. i don't think of that that's incorrect you being there for this woman yet whilst the subject ought to be prevalent to her mom then possibly you may stress to her the cost of her conversing to her mom with regard to the subject. I propose kinda not hardship-free to answer by using fact i don't know what the themes are that she instructed you. i could say how could you experience in the experience that your daughter could be doing what she is doing?

Answer 4

Wife is committing what is called "emotional adultery". She needs to confide in YOU, as her husband and you have every right to be upset that she's doing this. It's not a good sign. I think you would both benefit from some counseling if you want this to work out. You have to learn to communicate. She's getting something out of this relationship she doesn't want to let go of....find out what it is. Good luck.

Answer 5

This is totally wrong and what Dr. Phil would call a "deal breaker".
Your wife has no business chatting it up w/an old flame of a personal nature.
When women do this, it usually means they're "fishing" or looking to get out of their present relationship.
I'd put my foot down and tell her no more communication, he already knows too much, or have her get out.

Answer 6

if this relationship is serious and both of you value each other just terminate any type of contact with that old school friend with your wife immediately. otherwise you would lose her soon. there is nothing to do with another man as a married woman. why cant she make you her best friend? and you also need to work on yourself to win her heart.
and know that , that guy is just playing your wife. and its easy to do so on internet, email. you need to stop this.
and from hearing both of your background i have littled doubt but i am hopeful if you are serious and work hard both of you would survive.

Answer 7

I think your wife should confide in you about things in your marriage/relationship. Why does she feel the need to talk to her friend and not you? Do you listen to her concerns and questions? Do you give her your undivided attention when she needs you to listen? Does she feel more comfortable talking to him, because there is no intimacy between them? Talk to her and let her know how you feel. Make her sit down and listen to your concerns. You may need marriage counseling if this does not work. GOOD LUCK and GOD Bless your marriage.

Answer 8

She needs to stop her friend ship with this guy. She is having an emotional affair. And it isn't fair to you. She is behaving like she is in junior high school.
Not sure how you can change it. I would help her find other things to keep her so busy that he won't matter anymore.

Good luck

Answer 9

No way is this ok! Totally distrespectful of your feelings and your personal life.

Answer 10

I think she is playing both of you. She has the best of both worlds. and you are allowing it! You fool.