Why should he buy the cow when he gets the milk for free
2006-08-11 16:58:15
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answer #1
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answered by TOPKICK 3
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This is an awful situation. Maybe if you got your butt out of the picture he could attempt to work things out with his wife. At this point he doesn't have a chance because you're always right there. Back off and give his family a chance.
Most people have enough common sense to know that staying together for the sake of the kids is not a smart move. Kids are not stupid. My guess is that your man is using that an excuse because he doesn't want to leave his family. I'm also guessing he isn't really sleeping separately from his wife.
If by some miracle he did leave and you guys were able to be together it probably wouldn't last long. It would no longer be this taboo relationship. The longing would be gone because you got what you'd been wanting. He'd probably find someone else to cheat with.
Give him up and move on for everyone involved.
2006-08-11 17:02:21
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answer #2
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answered by Amelia 5
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Love doesn't absolve someone of their responsibilities. No matter how much he loves you or not, he has a responsibility to his children (until they reach 18, or 21 at the latest), and he shouldn't neglect them.
If you need a father for your own children (I have no idea how old they are), you should look elsewhere because he probably won't be able to treat your children as they should be treated. If you're not looking for a father for your children, what do you hope to gain by wanting your boyfriend to leave his family? If he's already your boyfriend, and your children don't need a father, what more do you want from him?
As long as you're getting what you need from the relationship, then by all means, you can keep "hanging on" indefinitely because it'll never be too long. If you find yourself becoming neurotic over the situation, however, do talk to him first, but you should probably move on. Figure out what you need and figure out what you can do without, and then talk to him about what you're going through. However, discuss it reasonably. Don't give him an ultimatum. That will only weaken whatever relationship you have.
2006-08-11 17:20:29
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answer #3
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answered by Muralasa 3
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Someone that can do that to someone they supposedly loved once doesn't understand love. i don't think he is capable of loving you because he's not even smart enough to love him self he just love his for the moment selfish desires you fufill. You help him escape his family like someone who drinks or does drugs your just an addiction for him which he confuses as love and because he runs from his problems in his marriage he is a coward. Are you really so desperate to let yourself fall for a married man! and don't belive his bull i'm sure my ex filled his mistress full of wrong ideas so they wouldn't feel bad about what they were doing but he was still trying to have sex with me . This guy is a liar and the fact that he has kids should make you back off after all your 38 don't you see he doesn't care for anyone! your in for a lot of suffering if you go with this guy you will remember this email one day After all it is very true that we reap what we sow Just because you lonely or whatever doesn't give you the rite to hurt others so you can feel better especially kids and they will pay and miss there dad they always do so don't kid yourself i wouldn't want that on my concious. you should start praying and ask God to reveal how satan is using you to destry a family i hope you see the truth and are so discusted by yourself that when you see him you run in fear before you do something you will regret! Godbless you
2006-08-11 17:20:36
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answer #4
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answered by Anonymous
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At 38 you should know this already, but here goes. He is with his wife because he wants to be, he is with you because its easy.
You could give him an ultimatum, but why would you do that, If he did leave his wife and marry you, you would be the wife that got cheated on the next time someone easy came along.
Falling for the I don't sleep with my wife, I only stay for the kids, and any other bull that you are swallowing is exactly why dogs like him get away with the sh*t that he does.
What you need to do is stop seeing that looser and tell his wife on him.
2006-08-11 17:05:21
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answer #5
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answered by Joy 5
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well he needs to be seperated from her,more so living in the same house,but he can't leave his kids behind just like you wouldn't with your children,if they are at the right age being around 16-18 depending of where you live they can either make the choice for themselves whether they want to stay or leave with you's if you can't kick her out without to much hassel,but don't make him make a decision as you probaly love your kids just like he probaly loves his. If it is to hard to deal with all of this,maybe it is not meant to be,but you can't also just throw away 2 years of a relationship if you are happy besides this.It's your choice so think about all that and make a choice yourself,don't ask others as I have seen a lot of different answers which also in one reply they contridickted themselves in a way by pretty much saying females are always right and never have any faults that they will admit to.
2006-08-11 17:10:02
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answer #6
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answered by s_d_wadham 3
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For one....you should have never gotten involved with a married man. You need to find one of your own. For Two he is not going to leave her. I think that he's having his cake and eating it. If he was going to leave her he would have done it by now. I really don't see how you can say that you've never known love like this...how can you say that it's love period? He's married and he's stringing you like a cat chasing a mouse. I don't think that you should give him the ultimatum...I think that you need to move on and accept that there is someone out there that will love you and only you. There is someone that you don't have to share with anyone. I personally have no respect for people who cheat and wonder why they are so heartless as to not caring who they hurt. You need to move on and gain new respect for yourself and once you do that, your world will open up again.
2006-08-11 17:11:22
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answer #7
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answered by Moon 5
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Hm, wow, well you are on equal terms I suppose - but it is understandable that he does not want to hurt the kids being the caring father he sounds, and its completely understandable he does not want to lose the house either as it was probably originally his and his only asset.
I doubt that you should 'force' him to leave his wife as such as that would be breaking a home and there is enough of that going on/ but then if he is no longer getting along with his wife then he should ideally divorce her and go with someone he loves like you.
Have you offered him the option of moving in with you?
2006-08-11 17:00:48
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answer #8
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answered by Anonymous
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definitely yes , just leave this family alone. its none of your business whether he is sleeping separate or not. ask yourself, as a divorced person with kids do you want to apart this family and maker other woman divorced?? i dont have the answer, i just feel bizzarre that what type of human being are you!
as you are in his life (ur so called bf) he is not concentrating in his own family and not trying to fix the family problems because he has access to you.
if you cannot live alone for the sake of your own kids and you really need men just hang in their and try different way and leave this man immediately.
dont act like a selfish and break other's family. concentrate in your own life, think about your own kids , raise them well.
2006-08-11 17:03:58
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answer #9
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answered by Deepthoughts 2
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rather or not they are in seperate beds they are still married so it is still a sin. Wy would you want him to leave her, what you know of his marriage iswhat he tells you. doesn't mean that, that is want is really going on. and if he is willing to leave he and his kids what makes you think he won one day do it to you.
If he really loves you as much as he says he does r you feel he does then him staying around for a house shouldn't be he only thing keeping you teo apart. it sound like there is a lot ore to their relationship then you might know. Marrige is very sacred and should not be interffered with, if they hve been in seperate bed for 2 years but are still together as he has told you then their is more keeping themtogether and their marraige can probbly still be saved you being in the picture can be hindering that. how would you feel if you where hend those where you kids.
remember,you don't live in their home you dont spend countless hours with him and her together so what really goes on between them you dont really know, and hat he tells you when it comes down to it is hear say........ do yourself a favor let it go it will hurst but it is best for everyone, if it is meant to be when he is single and able to give 100% of himself it will be. fo youlftheontou eme tobe with, not everything that feels good is good fo yo are meant to be......good luclk and god bless
2006-08-11 17:28:57
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answer #10
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answered by LoTs2ShArE 2
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I'm sorry, but you shouldn't be a homewrecker. Those children are completely innocent and do not deserve your intrusion. Yes, they have big problems in their relationship, but you make it impossible for them to find their way back together so the children can have the best family life possible (mom and dad). Please think about what you are doing to them. If he won't divorce her on his own accord, then you should find something else. Being someone's side dish is not true love. JMO.
2006-08-11 17:01:57
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answer #11
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answered by SinatraLover 2
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