I have been told that when I married it was for better or worse, but no one specified as to how bad I am suppose to let it get before it is beyond worse. And then there is that death do us part thing? Where is it okay to draw the line?
2006-08-11 16:44:27 · 13 answers · asked by freshstart_newbeginning 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If I had known there was this kind of problem when I met him I would never have gotten involved with him. This all peaked thru once in a while, and I stuck with him for 10 years as it got worse and worse. When he admitted to wanting to kill me and to kill himself I stuck by him. When he was hospitalized twice for being a risk-I stuck by him. while he mentally abused my son-I stuck by him. When he kept getting worse on a daily basis I stuck by him. When we became the most visited house in town by the police-I stuck by him. When it turned to violence--I left.
2006-08-11 17:10:42 · update #1
You will not be dishonoring your vows. Don't let anyone tell you any different. God would not want you in a situation where your life is in danger. Till death do us part is man's words, not God's words. Man wrote the marriage vows, I've never seen them in the Bible.
2006-08-11 17:26:27 · answer #1 · answered by organic gardener 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I don't have enough details to really give a complete answer here. But if your husband is mentally ill and a danger to himself and others then i'm guessing you didn't realize this at the time of marriage. If that is the case then he misrepresented himself or something happened later to cause him to become mentally ill. Either way you didn't plan for this.
If there is no way for him to get better and it is too stressful for you to hang on and try to help him then I see no reason why you should stay married. That is a very stressful situation and why should you have to remain in it? If he were an abuser would you stay with him? I also took vows for better or for worse but if my husband starting beating me then I'd make no hesitation and leave.
You have to think of your own well being.
2006-08-11 16:49:59 · answer #2 · answered by Amelia 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is supposed to happen between two people who love each other and want to be together in such a formal relationship. Some people might withstand certain trials better than others, but that doesn't make them better people necessarily.
Consider this hypothetical scenario: I am in love with a nice woman who happens to be quadriplegic, yet I doubt if I really want to marry her. Am I in the wrong? Am I being selfish? No, I have the freedom to choose not to marry her. That does not make me a bad person and it does not make her an unloved or lesser woman. Love is about choice, not duty.
A good friend once told me: can't be a good samaritan in love (i.e., we can't love someone out of pity).
I think you stuck it out long enough. Divorce him already, don't let others make you feel guilty for that. Marriage for marriage's sake is as bad as any other fanatical endeavor.
2006-08-11 17:21:48 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you talking about a civil divorce as practiced in the courts of this land , or a divorce as described in the Bible.
A civil divorce voids the civil contract you entered into with the state and your husband, and has little to do with the Biblical concept of Marriage.
If you both stood before God and took a marriage vow and publicly proclaimed your intent to live in a Biblical style marriage, then I think God expects you to honor that vow. It is no small thing to break a vow you made before the God of all creation.
How bad?: no limit, only one Biblical way out, till death do you part, it's all part of the deal. The bad with the good. Anyone who tells you otherwise is not giving you Godly advice.
2006-08-11 17:01:53 · answer #4 · answered by Back Porch Willy 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Again and again in this area of the internet I see that women just do not know what marriage means.....
why did you get married in the first place?
My dumb wife thought marriage meant dating and after 60 days went back to her momma, putting together a budget and communicating her thoughts to someone else proved too dificult for her, as for you.
The line was drawn right in front of the wedding ceremony, regardless if it was a religious or purely a civil ceremony.
Well hey, if you dont like it you can always change your mind, right? What a piece of work
2006-08-11 16:56:56 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is a danger to himself and others then I hope your still not there!!! I lived with a girl who use to talk to herself if she got mad and would go in the bedroom and talk to herself and answer herself. She pulled a butcher knife on me because she didn`t like me going out to the store and getting a 12 pack of beer and I had my friend over when she got home from work. I left the next day and didnt look back!!!
2006-08-11 16:54:19 · answer #6 · answered by bren_jim 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well unfortunately god didnt draw a line in the vows, they are what they are.. so now its up to u , do u want to believe in your vows or walk away from them.. only u can decide, only u know how much u can take before u break..
2006-08-11 16:52:04 · answer #7 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
According to the bible you are only permitted to divorce under 2 circumstances. 1.) He commits adultery or 2.) He abandons you.
I don't know why abuse isn't included in there. I divorced my husband because I was not safe with him. I have broken bones because of him. There are circumstances where you just have to get away. Yours may be one of them.
2006-08-11 17:11:33 · answer #8 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yours vows might have said " for better or worse" but that does not mean you should put yourself in danger.
2006-08-11 16:52:16 · answer #9 · answered by VL MAN 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you draw the line at death do you part
you are dishonoring your vows
it is hard, I know, but you are not dead yet, and he didnt cheat on you
noone wants to be mental if they can help it
2006-08-11 16:49:54 · answer #10 · answered by ! 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋