Her friend was murdered and she is really having a hard time trying to cope with it. The girl was her best friend. I'm trying to comfort her and I'm there for her now and I'm doing everything that I can think of to comfort her and make her feel better. I asked her if she wants to be alone and she said no and she won't let go of me. Don't get me wrong I don't mind her holding on to me but I was just woundering if there was anything else that I can do to help her get throug this. Thanks in advanced for your help.
2006-08-11 16:37:19 · 11 answers · asked by Andy 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I have to say that I applaud you for standing by her in this time of need and the fact that you want to find other ways to comfort her just makes my heart melt. She's lucky to have you. It takes time to deal with a loss...especially when this loss was sudden. Be there, Listen to her and let her cry and get it out. Time is what heals and having you by her side will just make it a tiny bit easier to cope. It sounds like you are a wonderful and a caring person and really care for her a lot. She will let you know when she is ready to face the world without having her face planted on your chest. Even when she is ready she'll still need you. Continue to be caring and I hope all goes well.
2006-08-11 16:54:01 · answer #1 · answered by Moon 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When someone dies that is that close to you there is really nothing anyone can do or say unfortunately. I know I lost my sister not to long ago. Being there and comforting her which it sounds like you are already doing is the best thing. It is a scarry moment when you finaly relize how short life is. But her life is still going on and i am sure her best friend loved her and wanted her to be happy not sad. Tell her for me that talking to someone that has lost someone helps because you dont feel so alone and like no one understands. Try to seek out someone for her to talk to that has experienced a similar loss. My philosophy about a loss is take good from the bad events in your life and if you think you cant find the good look harder- My sister was hit by a drunk driver while she was walking- everyone i can get my hands on I tell them about this so that they are aware of the effects of drinking and driving - my "good" is that maybe I can help someone else because thats what she would have wanted to do if it were me that had been in the accident. I dont know the circumstances of the murder so I cant give you any specific advice but I hope you get the general idea. I still think about her every single day and still cry alot about it but I try to stay strong infront of other people because as much as it hurt me it hurt my mother more, so you may also want to tell her to think about her friends family and try to be strong for them because just imagine what they are going through it always hurts me to hear how upset people are and then i end up comforting them. Good luck.
2006-08-11 23:59:48 · answer #2 · answered by drea2892 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ooh...this is a tough situation. u want to be there for her, but u don't really know what she wants. i would suggest trying to be more sensitive to her words and actions... try to sense whether or not she needs u to hold her, just needs u to listen, or just needs u to be around. make sure she knows u are thinking about her and want to be with her. talk about anything and everything that She wants to talk about. she might just need to cry and just sit or lay with you, for a long time, and even tho u don't know what to say, sometimes just being there is enough. she may feel extremely scared, shocked, and like it's not real. u need to help her keep her feet on the ground... in a positive way. always emphasize positive, healthy things for her. if at any time she becomes negative, sad, depressed, u have to be observant and watch her. she may need to talk to a counselor. not because she's "crazy", but because talking is a great way to get thru tough times. or maybe get her a journal, so she can write some thoughts down?
remember to be patient.. even if u feel she's too listless or quiet, or doesn't really want to do anything, she does need you to be there. even if u sit in silence. so be loving, caring, and be in tune w/ her needs. good luck
2006-08-11 23:45:54 · answer #3 · answered by sasmallworld 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a terrible thing to happen. Just be there for her and understand that this may take a long time for her to get over. She might want to consider grief counseling later. Or you could always do what my husband did for me when I suffered a great loss...he bought me a precious puppy for me to hold and love on. God bless both of you!
2006-08-11 23:43:57 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you're doing everything you can already. Just keep doing what you're doing. If she has to go to counseling, go with her. Just be patient and give her some time. Losing a close friend can be devastating to anyone, just do what ever you'd want her to do for you if you were in her place (not that you'd want to be.) Good luck to you!
2006-08-11 23:50:22 · answer #5 · answered by Jenna 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dude, sounds like a bum situation. That'd be hard for anybody. Find a copy of the Dianetics DVD. It shows you how to help someone with a heavy loss. No kidding, it really works!
2006-08-11 23:43:16 · answer #6 · answered by John C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just try listening to her and comforting her, try to do stuff to get her mind off of being depressed. when my grandma died(i was EXTREMELY close) all i did for weeks was cry and try to let the pain out, but it stays... it will go to the back of her mind, with the other memories, just be patient and give her lots of love...
2006-08-11 23:44:57 · answer #7 · answered by Jackie Diane 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just always try to be there for her as much as you can and be extremely patient. Those sort of things are impossible to get over quickly.
2006-08-11 23:40:50 · answer #8 · answered by Mikeo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you just have to give it time eventually she will get over it, but you cant rush it. just be there for her and do what you can but in the long run time will heal her pain.
2006-08-11 23:41:59 · answer #9 · answered by lizzie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are doing everything that you can do. Just being there for her is about all you can do.
2006-08-11 23:42:38 · answer #10 · answered by ♥dream_angel♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋