How do you over come someone Cheating on you?

Question

My husband has been cheating on me for 1 1/2 and had a baby with her I gave him the Second Chance and we were trying to fix our marriage but he does not know if that is what he wants now that I moved to be with him I have 3 kids with him and we have been together 14 years. What Can I do?

Answer 1

Why allow yourself to continue to be treated this way?? I mean, come on..... Its obvious that you are not on the top of his priority list...... Seriously, you need to move on, and make a new life for you and your children.. Find someone who is gonna respect & love you, the way you deserve to be.

Answer 2

Marriage is a life long committment between two people and marriage is a constant struggle to maintain. Maybe you should look deep within your self and ask yourself if this is the kind of marriage that you want. No wife or husband should have to or be expected to share their partner with someone else. Unfortunately life is not fair, people don't play by the rules, and nothing is constant but change. Maybe both of you need time apart to decide if your marriage is worth fighting for at this point. Second chances only work when both partners agree wholeheartedly to rebuild the structure of their marriage. Otherwise if only one agrees wholeheartedly then it will continue to crumble away. And in your case, there are children involved that need to be shielded from all of this pain. The road to recovery after an affair is not an easy one and may take awhile to truely overcome but in time it can be done.Try to always take the negative, reverse it to positive, and create happiness and share that happiness with others. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family.

Answer 3

Honey, he's got some nerve in acting like this is not what he wants now. He should be thankful that someone like you was willing to give him another chance. My ex-husband cheated on me and I can tell you that after that, no matter how I tried, I could not trust him. Once the trust is gone, you have nothing. Take it from me, don't sell yourself short. Plan out your next move and do it!

Best of luck and my prayers are with you.

Answer 4

You take him to the cleaners..that is step one. See a lawyer immediately, sue for separation, alimony, and child support...he will not have enough money left over each week to play big shot and mess around with anyone else for years. You are wasting your time here, nothing is ever going to work out again to your satisfaction. You gave him a chance (more than what most would do) and he has blown it away.NOW it is time to protect the children's future. Make him move out immediately and start paying by court ordered payments. You might want to have the court handle the payments. Seems that some dads "forget" to send child support payments when they are not reminded to do so...a check to the court system is a good reminder monthly. Good luck

Answer 5

Realize that u arent married anymore, tech yes but he breeched ur marriage the moment he decided to turn from u to be with another.... u realize that your children need a REAL MAN.. and obviously he isnt one. .. real men dont do this sort of thing, and real men dont come back just to reconsider if they want to be with their family or not.. i do realize that u love him.. but u dont really love him, not the person he has become u love the man he once was, and your scared.. because u dont know what the future would hold if he wasnt there.. but u deserve someone better, someone that will love u the way u love them.. and unfortunately it doesnt sound like he's the type to stop cheating, if he's already reconsidering.. he'll eventually cheat again... how much can ur sanity really take.. ??

Answer 6

14 yrs? What a waste! When your husband says "I'm not sure if that's what I want" means he's no longer interested in the marriage and probably wants out. There's nothing you can do to force someone into wanting to stay. He doesn't even seem interested in working on it at this point. I say, save yourself the headache and gather up the courage to move on yourself. You will only be wasting your time since the other party is unwilling to put forth effort in working on it.

Answer 7

My sister is going through a mirror image of this. Her husband of around 15 years had an affair, left my sister and his two kids. The he got the other woman pregnant. Now the baby is two. Since he left my sister he has led her to believe he wants to come back and then he woundnt be sure and he was confused. He recently wants to come back for real this time. But not until The first of the year. You know taxes. My sister says she handles it by truly believing that he knows he made a mistake. She feels bad for him. That he is living in his own hell, because he's not happy. [e-mail]

Answer 8

first of all gaining trust is hard to regain. you have to try tom forgive him in order to move on. even though it has been years since, you still feel like you cant let that guard down. you will not ever be comfortable until that trust is back. if he isn't sure if thst is what he wants, why are you letting him dectate your life? you were the one he cheated on. you make the decision. if you want him then take him with his faults, but it seems like he wants a reason to justify what he did, by makng you feel guilty. this is your life and your feelings so you have to take control, if you want to go on feeling uneasy creepin in his pockets, listening on the phone or staying up late trying to see if he sneaks out then you do it. having kids does not make a man want you more. remember that.

Answer 9

It will be hard to do, but I think I would give it up. You will never trust him again, so why put yourself through it. Fourteens years is a long time, but I think it's over. Good luck.

Answer 10

I'm so sorry that, that happened to you. My advise to you is to move on. Help your kids to be happy and yourself to be happy. It's not your fault or any ones but his. And just try to forgive.. I know it's a weird thing to say. but you don't want to be bitter. You are to good to give him that power.