I am pregnant and i am extremly high risk, with HBP and placenta previa, my husband insists that i go back to college, find a job as soon as i can after the baby is born. See he doesnt clean, or cook, or help out around the house at all because of his work he is only home weekends and all he wants to do is relax...i dont blame him but HOW am i suppose to do all this after the baby is born? College, work, clean, cook, study, and still have quite time for myself to relax too?
2006-08-11 15:20:35 · 13 answers · asked by peachy101 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
OMG.......my heart literally goes out to you!! Babies need their mothers and that is all there is to it! Why would he want to leave his newborn in the care of someone other than its mother? I am not saying this to sound mean, but seriously why would he? Did you two plan on having this child or wasn't it planned? What would happen if you decided that you did not want to return to college or get a job right away....it sounds like he isn't around to help other than on weekends and you say he only wants to relax! My only advice to you is do what YOU WANT to do and don't let him dictate to you how it will be. I did this after my first child and she was so unhappy.......needless to say so was I. I let my husband dictate to me how it would be and should have been strong enough to tell him otherwise. After my 2nd child I TOLD him I was going to remain home and provide daycare out of our home to help with finances. Our marriage didn't last due to my feelings always being 2nd to his own.....it was not a marriage, it was a dicatatorship and he killed any love I had for him due to his selfishness. I have remarried and found that a husband doesn't treat his wife or children in such a manner.
2006-08-11 15:35:20 · answer #1 · answered by Geez Louise 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tough cookies on your husband coming home and only wanting to relax on weekends. You work too, inside the home. You are keeping the homefires burning, that is also work. You are caring a child that hopefully he had a hand in making and he should want to make sure you can get through the rest of the pregnancy with both you and the baby coming out healthy. You can't tell everything in your question, but I sense signs of an abusive relationship here. Abuse isn't confined to physical or abusive language. It is also when one part of a relationship is ordering the other part to do this or that and "I'm only going to this". There is no way that you will be able to handle doing all that alone after the baby is born. If your pregnancy is high risk, very likely you will need more recovery time after the birth than usual. And your baby just might have some special needs. College is hard, keeping a house is hard and trying to do all will burn you out quick. Talk to your doctor, your priest or a counselor right away and get an objective opinion on this. Get together good information to present to your hubby on why he is demanding too much. And stop the "I don't blame him" stuff. Marriage is supposed to be a partnership, not a dictatorship.
2006-08-11 22:29:35 · answer #2 · answered by jiminycricket 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband can learn to cook and clean when he's at home. Show him how to operate the washer, dryer, and the vacuum cleaner. He can also learn how to take care of the baby. Insist on him helping you. Everybody would like to relax when they are off work. At times that just can't happen. He needs to learn to deal with that. A new baby is going to make big changes in both of your lives. I hope this helps.
2006-08-11 22:45:25 · answer #3 · answered by organic gardener 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do all of that too, I have 2 kids, work full time go to college full time..my youngest was a year when I started college though, but I only took 4 weeks off my job after he was born, but everyone is different if you feel you cannot do it all then don't, just be a good mother.
2006-08-11 22:57:19 · answer #4 · answered by hahaha 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's crazy! It's way too much to handle as soon as the baby is born. You need time to bond and recoup concentrate on just a couple of things at first. Maybe take an on line class, some of those you can do when you have time to get it done. Take care of yourself and your baby first, the job will come later. Good luck!
2006-08-11 22:29:17 · answer #5 · answered by Eric 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well like all of us mothers: we just do it. Its all about moderation and first off spend as much time with that little one as much as possible. Perhaps you should tell your husband he needs to stop living in the 1950s and help you out, your only one person...good luck
2006-08-11 22:24:27 · answer #6 · answered by lolli_pop69_2001 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell your doctor & have your doctor explain to your husband that it is simply too much to ask of you physically & mentally & that its best for both you & baby to have plenty rest & time together for the next year. If your husband still gives you a hard time, tell him too bad, you're not doing work or school until you're ready, end of story.
2006-08-11 22:26:29 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well now that there is a baby involved the baby is or should be top priority and your health. so don't be stupid and do something that will hurt you and the baby just because a man told you to. you have to think about the baby even if he wont. you take care of yourself because no one else will do it for you evidently. and you are responsible for another life. a baby!
2006-08-11 22:27:17 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
So your husband is off 2 days a week, but he expects you to work 7 days a week? And you didn't know this before you got pregnant? Tell him to get off his backside and help!!
2006-08-11 22:25:39 · answer #9 · answered by Lindy357 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
believe it or not !! it is possible that's how millions of women live their lives and i have a lot of RESPECT for them !!! i'm doing all of that execpt the newborn thing... but the question here is CAN YOU DO IT ????? do not give up too soon
2006-08-11 22:24:15 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋