I have been married for 5 years. The problem that I am having is that my marrage has become abusive more than once. I have never hit my wife when I was mad at her or when we were arguing, but she has hit me. This has happened a least once a year for evrey year we have been married. With the last couple of times that it has happened I have threatened to leave if it happenes again. I am still with her as of today. To add to it all she is wanting to have kids but I am scared to have kids with her. To me it seams that if she has no broblems with hitting me when she is mad what is she going to do with our kids. One pluse about being with her for so long is that she dose not hit me like she did she has learned to control herself some. The last time that she lost control and hit me was about 4 months ago. After it had happened she said that she would understand if i wanted to leave.
2006-08-11 15:12:44 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I know were some of it comes from. She was abused growing up by her mother. Her parents marrairge is about the same. Really i think that it is worse. We have gone to a councler about 2 or 3 years ago.
2006-08-11 16:01:09 · update #1
Leave the woman. You do not need to be a punching bag, and pleeeease do not have any children with her. Not good.
2006-08-11 15:19:50 · answer #1 · answered by leyte6519 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She has some serious issues!!! But, since you cannot control or change her behavior, you must think about what you want to do. You are right about hitting kids if she hits you. Once an abuser......always an abuser!!! If I were you......I would dump her hands down since this is what your future is. And, NO.......she is not controlling herself.....you are living in LaLa land if you think she is. You are an abused man and you need to leave if you hope to have any future thoughts of peace, harmony and children who will be safe!
2006-08-11 22:23:18 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i was in a similar situation, but i opt the other way and got a divorce. i am not condoning it at all. just get some counseling. anger management for her and you both. my ex went and it helped him, when he used to bang my head up, but this was alcohol induced.Then again he learned to mentally abuse me. she has to first recognize that she has a problem or going wont help.she will turn that hate she has for herself into a mental abuse towards you. you are correct about the kids issue. she needs to talk to a counselor so she can get help before kids and let her know that, not as a choice but a decision if she want to make it work, good luck
2006-08-11 22:45:03 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
1 things for sure she's not afraid of a man's natural superior strength to a women's. Call the cops, and scare her straight. But besides all that, talk to God about it, and tell him what you think about it, than give Him time to advice you what you should do about it. Read the bible and pray often. Divorce is so prevalent in our society. I do hope you work it out.
I like the fact that you haven't given up yet and that you really want help. Maybe you should also go to a marriage counselor to help her and you.
2006-08-11 22:22:55 · answer #4 · answered by Pricklyash 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her that counseling must take place before you will consider children. You are on the right track. If she can't control herself with you, there is no guarantee that she could control herself with a kid throwing a temper tantrum. Stick to your guns on that one. If she refuses, then say no. If she continues to hit you, then tell her to hit the road. No body deserves abuse, man or woman.
2006-08-11 22:18:28 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
abuse is unacceptable, whichever direction it occurs. the fact that your situation is rarer than women being the victim does not make it any more acceptable.
do not have children yet. have her go to a professional. if you still love her and think she'll stop then have the children (only when you're certain because you don't want the children to be abused either).
2006-08-11 22:46:59 · answer #6 · answered by kenko 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't have kids. RUN!! Get the hell out as fast as you can. Call the credit card companies and be done with her. It isn't worth it.
OR get her some drugs. She's got a problem.
2006-08-11 22:17:23 · answer #7 · answered by auntiegrav 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are smart. Good thinking. She can't control her self with you? Do you know how hard it is to control the children? You are going to end up single father.
2006-08-11 22:24:02 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't have kids. Seek counseling. If she will not seek help...the marriage is over. Abusive situations is not a family.
2006-08-11 22:16:54 · answer #9 · answered by rcpaden 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
one solution Anger Management classes and some counseling for you both
2006-08-11 22:15:52 · answer #10 · answered by cwgrlmeiniowa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋