how can you fix a very strained relationship between a daughter and a mother?

Question

we dont get along and always argue and cant even sit down and talk and have a decent conversation.

Answer 1

You're only going to ever have the one mother.Tape your mouth shut. Even if is only figuratively. LISTEN. Respond in a well thought out manner. Don't give in to your emotions. Don't assume that you know what your Mom is thinking. Don't cut her off and argue. Try to put yourself in her shoes. Respect needs to be earned.

Answer 2

I had a really terrible relationship with my mom for a very long time. The problem was that I felt like she was treating me too much like a daughter instead of another person. I understand that there will always be a tendency to view mother-daughter relationships as somewhat unbalanced due to the age and genetic positions of both parties. However, sometimes a mother does need to be a friend (granted this is not true in all cases). Listen without interrupting or offering advice. Instead, ask her what her opinion is and allow her to offer you her own advice. Kids are a lot smarter than most people think and they are rarely given the chance to show it. But above all, never assume that a child will give you respect just because of your position as an authority figure. You have to earn their respect, just like anyone else would. Good luck.

Answer 3

Me and my mother were like that, what happened was not a success story until I got older. While I was a teen I thought my mom was only out to get me or make me look like a fool, so of course we'd argue about everything, and anything. Your daughter probably feels the same way, she probably feels that you don't give her enough credit to make wise choices. You must understand that even though you are a mother you were once a child. Realizing that should help you understand your daughter a little more and maybe even give her a little space to learn from her own mistakes. You can advise her about things, but you must understand that you didn't always listen to your parents and she needs to make her own mistakes in life. She needs the freedom to travel her own road and fall down so she knows not to do those things again.

Answer 4

Like in the Trya Banks Show, they say that when asked who was the first person you fell in love with, the person would name the first boy or girl, but truly a person first love is THEIR mother's love...in other word the relationship b/w a mother and their daughter...i think you should try to talk to her even though that can be impossible[but there nothing impossible] also try to talk to other people she knew that could put ya together and have the friendship of a mother...you should also try to apologise for anything that you did wrong also ask for forgivness

Answer 5

Too hard to answer! The relationship between mother and daughter is difficult at best. Without a doubt, every mother to a daughter that I have met has seen herself in her daughter and then tries to control her daughter's life. It sucks for both....and I feel for both!

Don't ever stop disciplining her when she is being disrespectful...that is NEVER OK. If she is having a hard time talking to you or dad or anybody....she is a teen after all.... buy a very cute, soft-cover, feminine journal and put it on her pillow. Write her a note on the first page...kind of like a contract, stating something like:
We, your mother and your father (sign for the added dramatics) agree to read any question written in this journal, no matter what the subject matter and answer without judgment..... nor will we assume that just because you asked the question it is about you. We also agree not to talk about what was asked any further unless you approach us personally or with another question asking for us to help further.

My hubby and I did this with both of our teenagers and personally, I think it may have saved one of our kids lives. Also, we know who has tried pot, who is thinking of sex (please help me!), who thinks drinking is "mad gross" and who is in love with a friends girl! Now when we have dinner and we talk about personal experiences they really seem to listen and not just think that we are trying to tell them what to do! Good luck and let us know how things work out for you all!

Answer 6

Are you rebelling? You can sit and talk without arguing and yelling if YOU want to.

Answer 7

have you seen the movie stepmom?
well you need to, even if ur her real mom.
try to make her happy...........and even when you just want to yell and scream at her, dont. contain urself. count to 10 and then calmly talk. or just ignore her for awhile till she gets agrivated........

Answer 8

spoil her show her you care