It was my wife, but not my child, was I crazy?

Question

My wife and I had some issues and she found comfort in the arms of a married man whose wife was away taking care of her ailing mom. She and I went to counseling and the other guy turned out to be a jerk (which I knew anyway). She and I got back together and then she found out she was pregnant. I had a vasectomy so I knew it wasn't mine. She had a boy and I accepted him as mine. Was I nutz???

Answer 1

I think that's amazing what you did, But, you know this is not your child. That is hard to hear, and I'm sorry. Reality is though, your not. This man can come back into the picture at any time and want to be apart of this life. It will be a battle that you will all have to fight. I'm not saying it will happen, I'm simply telling you that in situations like this hope for the best, expect for the worst.

Answer 2

Absolutely not. You have taken the high road and done a very courageous, loving thing. This little boy is not to blame and he needs two parents who love him. Continue in counseling if you need to, either as a couple or just for yourself. I am sorry for your hurt and it will take time to heal, but you can rebuild your marriage and make it better than ever you imagined.
If you ever need any resources or help finding a counselor or just someone to talk to I recommend this website:
www.newlife.com
or 24 hour helpline: 1-800-NEW LIFE
They can assist you in so many ways. They have been a tremendous help to me.

Answer 3

No I don't think you were nuts but you obviously have some apprehensions about the situation. You should talk to someone about your feelings. I must say you are a good man!!! I DO NOT know any man who would stick around after what your wife did! They definitely don't make them like you anymore!

Answer 4

if you truly love your wife... your not nutz. just remember the baby... did nothing wrong. if you accept him now accept him always. never try to hurt your wife by hurting him. my uncle adopted his son when he and his wife got married. Josh was only 6 months old when they got married. my uncle and our whole family loved josh and treated him not different his whole life. My uncle and his wife divorced.. when josh was 10, she tried to keep josh from my uncle she even told him that charles was not his real father... she broke both their hearts. Josh is now 18 and lives with his dad my uncle. you can love a child who is not yours by blood but you can make him your heart child. I pray you can work things out. Good luck.

Answer 5

Well if you two truly worked it out then I would say no you are not nuts. Part of working it out is that possibility of bearing a child with someone else in your situation. As longh as you are at peace in your heart then more power to you. At least you are mature enough to realize that the child is innocent regardless of the situation.

Answer 6

..GOD BLESS YOU!! , you did what a noble man would do. You showed a big and compassionate heart. Father is not who puts the seed but the one who takes care of it, and Cherish it a long the way. Good Luck....ah! and you weren't nutz

Answer 7

No, you're a good man for taking that responsibility and for being able to forgive your wife.

Although, just because you had a vasectomy doesn't mean it's impossible that you're the father.

Answer 8

no it takes a real man to accept another man's child. you are wise enough not to take things out on the child. your wife on the other hand that is another story. hope things work out for you both.

Answer 9

No, I have an Uncle who did the same thing and truly loves his son. Plus not babes fault for having different chromosomes than yours. He'll love you wholeheartedly and that's a blessing!

Answer 10

Have yours and the baby's DNA tested, Sometimes guys who have a vasectomy, the surgery doesn't work. That is if you are that concerned.