How to stop yourself from stressing out?

Question

Lately I've had a ton of crap to do and I get really anxious and stressed out. I have down times inbetween everything I have to do but I just stress out about whats to come. I've tried taking baths and going on walks but I just think about how much I'm NOT getting done by doing those things. And I don't really have alot of money to spend on massages and crap and I live in a place where I know no one so I don't have a friend to go blow off steam with. Please tell me how to DE-STRESS myself!

Answer 1

In my first divorce I was becoming deeply deppressed at the financial straits I was in. I had taken care of all the bills ect and so all the credit cards were in my name ect. I would stress to the point of throwng up and even wondered if I could go on living seeing only a black hole in front of me. "How am I going to pay this or that?" "If I skip this month of paying this so that I can pay that then how will i ever catch up the month I missed?" Round and around I went. I finally went to a therapist. He asked me..."Can you pay all of your bills?" I shouted "NO!" Then he said....."So what are you worried about?" I looked at him and said "What???" He repeated himself and then said "Look, If you cant do anything about a thing...then what is the point of stressing about it? Will stressing over it magically fix it? No. So why worry about something that is out your control. Look at your situation and assess the things you CAN do something about and DO them. It will help relieve tons of stress to know that you are doing something proactive and productive to move on in life. And if in your down time you find yourself stressing again, remember.....AGAIN ......I can do nothing about this now so I'm erasing it from the board for the moment. Look at your board, is there anythng on it that you can do right this second. No??? Then take this second to sit back, relax and take a moment to praise yourself for all of the things that you WERE able to take care of successfully and know that in time everything will work itself out and that right now...at this very moment.....you are free from worry. Free to enjoy this moment of nothing.
There is a prayer they use in AA meetings something like "God grant me the ability change what can be changed, to accept the things I can't change and to know difference between the two. Or something like that LOL I am not IN AA but this can be said for all of us.

Answer 2

Just to put in My two cents worth - Why don't you go on Myspace or friendfinder.com Not adultfriendfinder. and meet some people in your neck of the woods.

And I have to agree with the above answer about erasing things you can't do anything about.

However, it just sounds like you've got a lot on your plate that you feel like you HAVE to take care of.

Take a minute or two, and sit down at the end of the day and write out your list of things to do the next. Then review the list and say, how much of this isn't necessary. If your kid has 3 sports, try and cut it down to 1. If you are a member of 2 groups, cut that back to 1 as well.

Just because you might WANT to do something, doesn't mean you have to, and you don't become less of a person or a mom if you don't.

Get it back down to a level you can manage by just slowly reducing one by one what you do until you CAN handle it.

Answer 3

Ok so it sounds like you have already tried the short-term, immediate things like taking baths / walks. I would also suggest that you take a look at your diet. Eliminate coffee and eat a banana once a day (potassium is good for your nervous system).

Otherwise, you need to take a longer term approach. This begins with figuring out what you really want out of life, and then trying to make sure that whatever you spend time on is part of that, or just a waste.

Stress can arise when we're just flapping our arms trying to do a million things and we don't really have a sense of what's important and what isn't. You can't do it all. Have an honest conversation with yourself about how you can narrow down to the essentials. Remind yourself of these every day. Use a diary, or meditate for 10 minutes and focus on your primary goals. Pray. Whatever works for you.

And look out for your health. Get enough sleep, stay hydrated, avoid caffeine, eat right....

Answer 4

You are in a very hard place to solve your problem I will give you that but all problems have answers and here is the answer. In order to relax physically you must first relax mentally. Relaxing your mind is the key in your situation. Like you said the thoughts of what your not getting done is the reason baths and walks wont work so you must first get your mind in order. With the alone time you have I want you to just sit or lie down. Close your eyes and focus on the emptness and scilence of your mind( not an insult just in case you took that way) its like a meditation. You must quiet all of the noises and destrations in your mind, find your quiet spot. Do this for about 3 weeks for as much time you can put towards it. It is not a quick and easy process but its effective.( I sound like Im your doctor or something dont I?) Remember mental relaxation is just as effective as physical relaxation.

Answer 5

I think planners really help a lot when there is lots to get done. When you plan out your day in the planner you have to be practical though. Don't schedule half an hour for something when it will take longer. Along with scheduling stuff you have to get done also plan in your down time. This will be time you scheduled for yourself, and if you stick to the plan you have made there will be plenty of time to get everything done so you don't have to feel like you are wasting time. When you get done with a chore or activity you can cross it off. This helps to feel as though you have accomplished something throughout the day. I also don't think you meed massages to help you relax, you can pick any activity that you enjoy, exercise is always a great way to blow off steam and feel like you are helping your body out as well.

Answer 6

Well, it's not easy, but it's easy. Boy, that makes sense?
Write REALLLLLY long letters to your soldier. Nothing special, daily stuff. Tell him about these quandries you're having and ask for his input. Trust me on this one. After two tours in Vietnam I can tell you he lives for these letters. It keeps him in the loop, and makes him feel like he's not TOTALLY letting you down by not being there to love and protect you. Emails are great, but there ain't nothing that compares to being able to pull out a letter and read about the silly little things you're doing at home. It lets him share those little things with you. For example: you tell him about trying chocolate milk with cereal. It's not for the timid. He'll remember that and bring it up a year later. The only sanity he has is you while he's over there. It can be sorta intense when people are shooting art you.

NOW, you then tell him you NEED letters, too. Most of his letters will be talking about what you wrote. First, he doesn't want to worry you, and second, he pretty well does the same thing every day.

Answer 7

You just don't do it. You have to actually consider what it is you are stressing about- ninety percent of the time that will convince you that stressing is not helping. It takes a while to get the hang of it, but forcing a laugh can help. That releases certain chemicals in your brain which can make you feel less stressed/frustrated/whatever (a tip I got before taking the SATs). In the end, you have to actively teach (essentially brainwash) yourself into understanding and accepting that you will not always finish your projects and that sometimes you will end up missing a deadline. In the end, life goes on and stress won't help you get that stuff done.

Answer 8

Okay this only helps a little, but a little is better than not at all. Breathe in through the nose, a deep breath from the gut. Hold it for a second and breathe out through the mouth. Do this a couple of times and you'll be suprised that it gives you a positive feeling for a moment.

Answer 9

Two things come to mind. One is that you are trying to maintain an ego ideal that may be unrealistic to maintain. Let yourself error. Adrenalin or epinephrine IS stress and comes in limited quantities, use it up in action. The timing of the stress, get stressed at the moment of your tasks start, that's when you need it. Use your imagination for what you plan to accomplish, do not allow hapstance of sensory memory reaction dictate your thought process.

Thanks Sgt. Bikes above....appreciate beauty, peace and when possible contentment. Remember that fear robs you of that goodness.

Answer 10

em....maybe if there is an arcade at ur area,u can try letting off steam at d machines (joysticks type) eg. street fighters, s'thing a bit more exciting i guess it doesnt cost much.....or do s'thing which will make u feel happy.....try not to think too much .....if its work just tell urself " work can never be finished " so dun bother bout it....(if its not important) let it hold till tomolo.....