does anybody else have this problem?
2006-08-11 14:43:13 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
she did not smoke before we were married! I have tried talking to her about it and helping her quit but she doesnt want to.
2006-08-11 14:58:01 · update #1
Explain to her how you feel about it and and that you want to her to live into old age with her then support her through the process of getting the aids, medicines, etc she'll need to beat the addiction! Make sure you don't have a issues that need to be addressed also. If you do then put those on the table as well!
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2006-08-11 15:05:51 · answer #1 · answered by bigsho222 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've got what I call a deal-breaker situation on your hands. I can't stand that smokers smell either. I am now married but when I was dating I refused to date anyone that smoked. I turned plenty of fine fine guys down because they smoked. Back then, I would tell them, if you ever quit smoking call me.
Did your wife always smoke or is this a recent habit she picked up? Because this is definitely the type of thing you should have discussed before you got marriage. All I can tell you is to be honest with your wife. Let her know that it really turns you off and that you'll support her in quitting.
Until then go to the dentist and get some persciption strengh mouth wash. They have ones that will kill every scent in your mouth. If I can find out the brand I will post it later in additional comments.
Febreeze is also a great product for eliminating unwanted scent in fabric & the air.
2006-08-11 22:06:29 · answer #2 · answered by genuine1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This isn't meant to be offensive, but I can't help wondering why such a major change in her life like this happened. I don't know how old she is, but what causes a non smoker to become such an avid smoker that she won't give it up for her husband? That's such an interesting phenomenon that the educational value of it alone is fascinating, but of course it doesn't do you any good. I hate smoking and could not tolerate it in a wife, so I fully understand your position. I'm also at a loss on how to successfully resolve it, because there's so much medical data these days that supports the existance of an addictive nature to tobacco. It's sort of like a legal addiction, and breaking the addiction will require some cooperation from the patient, as in all successful addiction treatments.
2006-08-11 23:37:14 · answer #3 · answered by nothing 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be honest. Tell her that you love her but you don't like kissing her anymore bcs of the smoke-smell. Tell her you MISS the way you ENJOYED kissing her before and how clean she smelled. Be gentle....put your arms around her...kiss her gently on the lips and then say it...tell her you feel her smoking has a negative affect on the marriage and you are concern for her health. Offer to buy her the patch or other means of helping her. Yelling won't help and will put her on the defense. Good luck.
2006-08-11 22:15:56 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe this will send her a strong enough message to quit smoking. Tell her when you kiss her, it's like kissing an ashtray. Tell her you're worried about her health, and your health from inhaling the second hand smoke. Offer to take her to a clinical hypnotherapist to help her stop smoking.
2006-08-11 21:48:12 · answer #5 · answered by Ivy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no not with smoking, but my x drank all the time and he smelled like beer. It sickened me, i didnt want to have sex with him or kiss him. Well i told him to stop, ya no all of the above, but he didnt, and it just got worse, tell her the truth, that you really hate the smell of it, maybe she can use those breath mint thingies, or rinse after smoking. Be honest. Maybe she will cut down and you will help her stop.
2006-08-11 21:47:43 · answer #6 · answered by ms.mary 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One of my brothers died a few years ago from lung cancer and my other brother is in the final stages of emphysema. Trust me, lung disease is an ugly and painful way to die. Show her this note and tell her that not only is her smoking straining your relationship, it is quite simply killing her. If you love her, then you must do whatever it takes to convince her to quit for good.
2006-08-11 21:57:30 · answer #7 · answered by Owl Creek Observer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try and convince her that her smoking is not helping the relationship. Give up one of your bad habits in exchange for her smoking.
2006-08-11 21:46:17 · answer #8 · answered by Ray 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not me. Why did you marry her if you were turned off by her smoking?
2006-08-11 21:58:16 · answer #9 · answered by waney 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess you're both in an awkward situation. In my relationships, I've been fortunate enough to where my girlfirends didn't mind and I couldn't understand how they could kiss me but they didn't care. I guess us guys have a problem with kissing women smokers.
2006-08-11 21:48:39 · answer #10 · answered by brewbeer212 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋