lets say your in a very loving relationship but kids dont like your mate.........do you let them choose for you. by the way i think not but thought it was interesting question anyway.
2006-08-11 14:37:15 · 12 answers · asked by darkvale 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
No. You are marrying the lady not the kids. The lady's personality has to match yours not your kids. Your kids will grow up and have lives of their own, you and your mate will be sharing a life together. So it follows that your mate has to be compatible with you not your kids. It would be nice if they can get along.
2006-08-11 15:05:32 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I'm stuck in this situation. I've been dating this guy for a while.
My daughter can't stand him. There's a real problem. I feel as
if I'm in the middle. I know that I'm the adult and should be able
to pick the man I love- but it's so complicated when your kid
won't cooperate in any way shape or form.
He thinks I should be firmer and she'll just have to get over it.
But, it breaks my heart- and I can't seem to come to any conclusion. I know in the end, my daughter will have to come
first. But, it's still painful. No matter which direction I turn, someone is disagreeing with me.
So... truthfully, I don't know who should decide. I don't want to
break my daughter's heart and alienate her from me. Everyone says there are so many more men in the sea. But... I'm the
adult and what I say should go, right? Aye, there's the rub.
2006-08-11 14:46:18 · answer #2 · answered by Linda S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if it was me I know my children would always come first and I would keep my relationship with him separate from my life with the kids.
It's too bad that children are forced into these positions but they have been traumatized already by your breakup or divorce more than likely so adding a new "mom or dad" into the picture is a very upsetting thing to them. It's totally destabilizing thier reality and they are feeling lost already. Talk to your children and find out what is really behind their fears or anger or resentments.
If they are older it is easier for them to understand their feelings but if they are young, they can't even begin to tell you and will display thier emotions through fits or tantrums, moodiness, bullying and even illness.
2006-08-11 15:16:25 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he's 10, that's surprisingly youthful to place such an considerable determination in his palms. Plus, 2 hours isn't something. i'm bowled over he has turn flopped to and fro from week to week, usually that's a disaster and so annoying on the toddler. As a instructor, that's a nightmare for us too. possibly you reside on the brink of one yet another yet WOW, that's putting considerable stress on a toddler. i could physique it ias an experience and a few thing mind-blowing and notice how he responds. the main severe factor to stress is how 2 hours is somewhat not considered one of those huge deal so that's nto like he won't in any respect see the different companion and teenagers.
2016-10-01 23:25:05 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If they disliked him for a very serious reason, like he was verbally abusive or something than yes. If he treated them badly then I would not be with him. If they just didn;t like him because they were jealous or something, I would try to make more time for them or something. The first thing I ever tell anybody that I am with is my children come first, always no matter what.
2006-08-11 14:41:34 · answer #5 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dave, I would not let my children choose for me, but I would seriously take what they had to say about it and from there see how it would and could be worked out. Children will leave someday and marry so you have to be prepared for that if you allow them to choose for you. Plus it can be worked out if both want it too. I feel strongly never to allow children to choose someone just because they dislike them.
2006-08-11 16:32:32 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No it is your life and you need to be happy. There could be different reasons why they do not like your mate. 1. It is not their mother or father. 2 Maybe she is not nice to them while you around. 3. Maybe they see things that you are blind to. If she is good to the kids there is no reason for them to not like her. Your the Dad and you have every right to be happy.
2006-08-11 14:49:12 · answer #7 · answered by luvlisteningtomusic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, i would say find out the reason why your children don't like that person, it could just be that they feel like that person is taking there mommy away, (been there!) you just have to make sure you give them alot of extra love so they dont feel left out. sometimes children get jealous either because they feel like that person is trying to replace an absent parent, or they feel like that person is tying to take you away from them. Sit down with your children and explain to them that you want to be with this person and you are happy with this person.
2006-08-11 15:05:43 · answer #8 · answered by holly l 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, for me my mom dated someone once for a long time. I didn't like him, but my mom did...I didn't tell her about how he treated me second best to his daughter, or how he yelled at me. I waited like a year to tell my mom because I was scared. When he asked her to marry him, thats when I finally told her...Anyway, maybe you should talk to your kids and ask why they don't like her.
2006-08-11 14:58:40 · answer #9 · answered by Aris 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
kid's have a sixth sense they seem to know what is going on . i no my daughter See's things that i cant explain and they remember so much . but if this woman is nice and accepts your children i would go with it
2006-08-11 14:52:26 · answer #10 · answered by GYMBOY 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋