Why is it that some people are scared to, or won't, help someone who's older or disabled?

Question

One of the things I notice a lot these days is that sometimes no one will help someone who is older or disabled, or ask if they need help...I can do for myself, but I've seen other people not even bother to help if they see someone older or disabled, and confined to a wheelchair, who's dropped something like their wallet and cannot reach it...or when they're shopping, no one will help them reach something on a high shelf like a box of cereal or a bag of cat food..even some store employees can be downright rude. Senior citizens and disabled people cannot always have someone go everywhere with them and assist them..I always try and lend a hand..or ask if the person needs help rather than just ignoring them. Why have some people become so self-absorbed and ignorant of everyone else but themselves?
I was raised to respect other people, and help those, especially senior citizens, who ask for help if I am able to do so.

Answer 1

I will usually only offer help if I see someone obviously needs it (like you described). Some people get all kinds of offended about you're offering; that's discouraging.

As for the bigger "why", part of it is a self-centered culture, and part of it is the group mentality that "someone else will do it". A woman shot in broad daylight watched by her neighbors blah blah blah.

Answer 2

I think sometimes people may be just ignoring the problem however some people may feel uncomfortable in a situation like that. If they offer help and the person doesn't actually want help, it could be embarrassing. When you are not around older or disabled people you do not always know how to respond in social situations. It is easier to just ignore the problem than feel embarrassed. I think things like this could be eliminated if disabled children were placed more in classrooms with other children who were not disabled. There would be more chances of social integration and people may be more likely to help when the time arises.

Answer 3

Well maybe some are afraid to because they just don't know how to help or what to do. Some might think if they bend over to pick up your little old ladies wallet that she dropped out of her wheel chair that she will yell robbery and they will be arrested. It would be her word against theirs and look who is holding the allegedly stolen wallet.

There are a lot of reasons why people don't want to help disabled or handicapped people and to some degree it is because these people are handicapped themselves by being prejudice or hatred or simply fear of not knowing the handicapped or elderly person or fear of obligation.

I can give you numerous examples of times where I have attempted to help people that were disabled and it came back to bite me in the ASP. I still do it but it isn't always the smart thing to do and remember, No good deed goes unpunished..

Answer 4

I've met several older and disabled people that, when I asked if they needed help, got an attitude and informed me that they didn't need any. After more experiences with that attitude than I would have liked, I prefer to wait and see if the person obviously needs help or asks for it. I know it's unfair to assume that all older or disabled people will get an attitude but it's also unfair to yell at someone that's just trying to be polite.

Answer 5

Some people don't care, and others don't help because they've never experienced that kind of adversity. Today I held doors for a lady in a wheelchair. She said I was being a "gentleman." (It's a light-hearted joke; I'm female.) We laughed and both of us felt better for a Friday afternoon.

On a sorrier note, I had a student in a wheelchair once who apparently fell over on campus because of a broken sidewalk and couldn't get back up. She told me that people walked by for over a half hour without doing anything to help her. Shame on them! Some people are just stupid, I guess.

And some are not raised as we were, to respect others.

Answer 6

This is so sad that people have become so caught up in their own lives that they just ignore everyone around them. I am disabled and believeme, I lost a lot of friends when this happened to me. I guess they just didn't know what to say to me anymore because I was not the same. As far as seniors, we should all pay more attention to them. They have lived through so much and are very interesting to talk to. It means so much to them when someone smiles and talks to them or just offers a little help.

Answer 7

Mostly, I think most people don't know what to do to help, or if the person might be offended if they offer. I have had some people tell me they are just uncomfortable. And, I think that is a shame.

My brother-in-law was a quadriplegic and I also worked with quads and paraplegics, so for me...it has never been any problem.

We are all people. We are just all challenged in different ways.

Answer 8

Sounds like your a nice kid. I am disabled and would like to meet you if I ever needed help. Thank you for being so aware of the needs of others. And the fact that you ask before acting is a sign of respect in itself. You deserve a pat on the back as there are many youth today who do not have the manners or morals that your parents have installed in you. Bravo!!

Answer 9

Just a few weeks ago, in the main street of our town, a man in a wheelchair (quadriplegic) asked me to help him reposition himself - he had had a spasm and his legs needed to be moved and strapped down. I knew this man vaguely - we had said hello a few times. I helped him. This was a new experience for me and I felt embarrassed and awkward as I was adjusting his body. I thought about it a lot afterwards. I was glad I helped him but why did I feel embarrassed? Maybe it's just that I was out of my comfort zone. I don't know for sure but I'm sure a lot of people would have felt the same in my situation.

I'm just glad I wasn't in his situation.

Whatever the reason for my discomfort, I am glad I helped him and will be more willing to assist in the future.

Answer 10

Our society as a general rule prefers to look the other way. It is the strongest evidence of Darwin's "Survival of the Fittest". We as a general rule do not want to help those who are older, sick, or disabled because it brings to our minds the realization that we are not immortal as we often prefer to think of ourselves. I am not saying that everyone is this way, but then there are exceptions to every rule. Basically it all comes down to fear.