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take second best and convince ourselves that everything is ok for the sake of maintaining the illusion that life is allright? really there is nothing drastically wrong with my relationship, I miss him in the day and vice versa, we laugh at the same things, we have some happy times. but it still seems like maybe we are glossing over stuff, like it is very convenient? REALLY is there such a thing as life-long passionate love? or should I just ******* go it alone????? at least all my experiences would be real then(to me), without the suspicion that there is some kind of (maybe unconscious) role being played??!!!

2006-08-11 13:32:05 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture Other - Society & Culture

15 answers

surprising what goes on behind closed doors.people ive always thought were happy( and enviably happy)arent................it woudldnt be normal if anybody had a perfect relationship

2006-08-11 13:37:31 · answer #1 · answered by bmw.girl 2 · 0 0

Compromise is the spice of life! As you get older you will realize that there's no part of your life that you don't make some kind of compromise in. And no, that doesn't mean that life is an illusion. Remember that nothing in this world is perfect. If you go through life getting your own way all of the time, you'll end up a very lonely and unhappy person (like the dictators of the world). Love is not always about passion - it's about something deeper than that. I equate passion with lust, not love (not that there's anything wrong with passion and lust!).

I'm not trying to be negative here, but if you go through life thinking that the passion should/will be just as strong after 10, 15, 20 years as it was during the first year, then you'll be sorely disappointed. This kind of expectation isn't realistic. It takes a lot of hard work to maintain a long-term relationship, and by work I mean giving and taking (or in other words compromise). The problem is when there's only one person in the relationship making the compromises. The compromises must be balanced (meaning you both make compromises equally), or the relationship won't work.

Best of luck!

2006-08-11 13:53:57 · answer #2 · answered by monkeymom 5 · 0 0

I could take 5th best, and make a go at it!

Its not "whom your with, or want", its what you are willing to put into a marriage, or relationship!

If you have a nasty, I dont care attitude, he will know it! I guarantee it!

If you put your body and soul into a marriage or relationship, stop going over failed relationships and trying to correct what you might have done wrong there, but, just love the person your with, with all your heart, then you will have the best time of it.

Dont settle for "second best" feelings! Go all the way into this, or, just turn around and walk out, because it will do neither of you any good.

You will always harbor feelings of some one else being the "best" and you settled for "seconds", while he, will KNOW that you regard him as inferrior, and it will prey on his mind and he will eventually cheat on you because your making him feel inadequate!

I wish you well...

Jesse

2006-08-11 13:42:21 · answer #3 · answered by x 7 · 0 0

i think that there is such a thing as a long term happy relationship, but it does involve compromise. for all things to be successful or just 'happy' compromise must be an important element, as without it we are all just selfish ignorant people seeking out our own happiness and making unhappy people along the way.

2006-08-11 13:39:30 · answer #4 · answered by blue boy 2 · 1 0

I think sometimes we do compromise with our partners for lots of reasons, but when you truly love someone you will make those compromises with each other, if you feel your just glossing over things in your relationship then maybe its time to sit down and have a good old chat with him and see what he feels about this, his feelings are as important as yours are, but sometimes to move on you have to agree a middle ground, its what love and understanding is about and if a lot more of us compromised in relationships and life in general maybe there wouldn't be as much hassle in this world, good luck.

2006-08-12 02:55:42 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

We have to compromise as nobody's perfect, but I don't mean put up with anything. Passion tends to only be in the beginning of relationships then changes into a more lasting affection.

2006-08-11 13:40:22 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

All relationships are about comprimise or they wouldn't work at all. You should know within your self if you are just settleing for second best or not because of the way that you feel. if you are not happy then leave or things will just go from bad to worse good luck and don't just settle

2006-08-15 12:36:12 · answer #7 · answered by the strange one 2 · 0 0

As you mature and age, your priorities change. Compromise is a good way to deal with everyone, not just a life long spouse.

2006-08-11 13:35:13 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

go searching you. verify out video clips, verify out television, verify out commercials. What do all of them say? That genuine love will discover you, that in case you at the instant are not chuffed you will desire to leave, because of the fact Prince captivating of Goodlookingshire is physically powerful over the subsequent hill, and that genuine love does not require any artwork, because of the fact it somewhat is going to all in positive condition mutually completely. The media has brainwashed us into having an quite wrong view of what genuine love somewhat is, and so as that's what we assume, and whilst we don't get it, we give up, assuming that needless to say it replaced into no longer meant to be, if it did no longer artwork out quickly. on the different hand, love is so somewhat ordinary to fall into. We sense the slightest little bit of charm for somebody, and all of us be conscious of that's meant to be, and we block ourselves out from seeing their flaws, assuring ourselves that they are going to soften away after the marriage. then you definitely get farther alongside and comprehend... which you not at all somewhat had genuine like at the beginning. Is it everyone's fault? it must be the two, for no longer being waiting to tell in the event that they're in love or no longer, yet somewhat, love is a perplexing ingredient, and in case you locate everyone which could make you chuffed, even no count number if it is not love, you opt to adhere by utilising them no count number what. each and every from time to time, nevertheless, that may no longer sufficient, and the preliminary charm basically... melts away. You look to have an quite mature viewpoint on all of it, so basically shop that for the time of strategies as you progression with the aid of life. That genuine love does require artwork, and compromise, and giving and taking. Have I ever got here upon genuine love? i think of I even have. She replaced right into a ultimate lady, we've been loopy approximately one yet another, yet we had some problems in college, and we the two had to circulate away, exchange colleges, for the duration of a similar year. i attempted moving around the rustic basically to be together with her, because of the fact i could no longer undergo to be without her. yet issues disintegrate... she got here upon somebody else, i got here upon different women, and we at last moved on, because of the fact the area replaced into too super of an impediment to overcome.

2016-09-29 04:28:52 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0 0

We will always have to compromise and make sacrifices. Its only human nature.

2006-08-11 13:37:56 · answer #10 · answered by ~~ 7 · 0 0

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