Whats your advise on a very important matter to me...?

Question

I havent seen my son in since he was 14 he is not 18. I have been fighting in courts going nowhere. Havent heard a word, Father told anybody who brings me up to my children, he will not let them see the kids. Well, my dad, spoke to my oldest. And asked if he would ever want to talk to me again. He said not right now, but he does want to. What do I do next just wait, or try and contact him? (The courts say to hold on and wait because of the appeal, but he is 18 now and they were just afraid that the father would influence my son and have him put an order of protection on me which would make me look bad in court). I dont believe this is the case with my son. My husband said in court that my son wants nothing to do with me, obviously, that is not the case.
Advise please.

Answer 1

First of all, when a child turns 13 and he asks, he can be allowed to visit with his mom/dad that he's is not living with.
Second of all, since he's 18, like you said, then he has the right to live with you if YOU want, or have communications with you. In alot of states, the child has a right to choose what he wants unless he/she is brain washed into thinking otherwise.
What you need is a really good lawyer. If you want bad enough to have your child in your life then what's stopping you? First thing you need is to have visitation rights if your child cannot speak for himself. If you all sit down and everyone listens to what he wants then something will definately be resolved!
God speed

Answer 2

If your son told your Dad he does want contact with you at some point, I'd be more inclined to believe him rather than your husband. Because of the appeal, however, it might be wise to wait until things settle down. Reestablishing contact with your son outside of court proceedings may complicate things. If your Dad still has contact with your son, he can let him know how much you love him and think about him, and look forward to building a new relationship when this is over. For real advice, I'd probably contact your lawyer or a social worker/counselor.

Answer 3

this shouldnt be a desperate question, by abandoned mother, who asks for thin advises. this should be turned into a fight of one strong mother, of hard will, who will never EVER stop fighting. sorry about this, but it a truth.

it might seem like invisible, but just the most taughest characters among all the people are mothers. Like your mother was, mine, and just like you are.

You think that this is something you are afraid you won't accept the final solution. who knows waht's gonna happen. but, mom, if u r willin to stop right now, at this crucial moment, and turn behind and ask yourself and me can u do it, then say to yourself, that it was just a mistake...

Fight! and never again stop askin can you do it or not. You don't want to listen to you worries in your head. not anymore. that time has passed.
tell yourself, that it's a payback time. for everything. Fight! no matter will it hurt.

dear mom, if you just stop fightin for your son, even for a single second, then you will fall.

who is that man that should make you scared for the future events. does that man even exists??? how dare you leting a scam like him doing that to you?

you know how good mother you were. how much suffer while rising your son. but that cannot be compared to happines he brought, couldnt it?

no man, not even a God himself could stand between you and your son. no man.

in the end... if you have nothing left... trust trully into a goodness, that he got from you. that's how, he will do the major step.

no man, or court could stop you woman.

Answer 4

hang on a sec..I'm assuming what ever you did is old history.. where I live they'd rather give the children to an unemployable, welfare sucking, HIV infected crack whore than let an upstanding male with a good job have the children..so lets get back to Jr.. So dad is still bitter and probably has been filling the kids heads with exaggerated BS for years...2 great peices of advise..ONE NEVER talk the father down.. and 2 let them come to you.. they know how to find you and now your oldest knows you want to talk to him..when you meet him just go do something fun... DO NOT talk shop about old dirt and if he asks just try to steer him out of it with things like.. "Well I made some mistakes" or "let let dead dogs lay" and take him out for a fun day..

Answer 5

From what you say you had him in your life till he was 14 so all you can hope ..cause I believe at 18 he is legally an adult and can make his own descisions about who he sees ,is that he will seek you out sooner or later
You know best how you raised him ...maybe he is trying now but afraid of the reprecussions at his Dads if he does...and you know yourself what its like as a teenager ..your confused all the time ...I wish you the best whatever happens ...I hope you realise you did a good job ..and he knows you love him...best of luck in the future

Answer 6

i know it must be very hard on you. however pls be strong and hang on there because your son needs you. as your son is aldy 18, after a few years he will have his own rights to decide for himself which not even the father can decide who he wanne be with. so just endure.perhaps you shld think this way. your son has grown up to be a mature boy who has plans in his mind to communicate with you but tis is really not the rite time. perhaps he is still financially dependent on his father? so he has to wait till he is more independent. Sooo.., you should just continue to fight in court to show yr son u really care abt him and continue to be strong as god will always be with you.

Answer 7

Wait it out and hopefully things will be better. You must have rally pissed of the husband. What happened that long ago should be left in the past. Hopefully You have become a better woman and things will work out. Being active in church and civic things creates opportunities for the two of you to meet. Do not force things.

Answer 8

I think that if your son is 18 and old enough to see you if he wants to, he will contact you. I would think he could find out how to get in touch with you if you wanted to. He'll come around when he's ready. To push the issue might just make him pull away.

Answer 9

thats ur ex brainwashing him. you have two choices, both equally risky...

wait and see what happens, or keep trying, but in secret. use someone that is known only to you, nobody that they can recognize, and try to use them to get your son to contact you. make sure he is told repeatedly NOT TO TELL ANYONE ELSE! or you will be screwed, especially if the father finds out.

best of luck to you

Answer 10

give up :)