Ladies, please help. My gf has a friend who's a guy...?

Question

My girlfreind and i are in love, no doubt about it. i love her, she loves me, we both know it. but she's had this friend since she was like, a baby, or really young. i trust her completely and everything, because i know she loves me and that she would never do anything with him, but i always just feel really weird whenever she talks about him, or whenever he's around, etc. is this normal? what should i do? should i talk to her about it? i want to, but i dont want things between us to get weird, and inside i know that she feels nothing towards him, but i dont know what to do. please help

Answer 1

i know what you're going through, i would mention it to her but not make a big deal about it. if she's the right girl things won't get weird.

just don't blow it up and make it a big deal, when it's simply a little thing that is bugging you.

Answer 2

From watching my hubby, I know how you feel. My best frined is a guy. We've been through thick and thin and I love him. We tell each other we love each other. When we each married different people- we got to know the other's soon to be spouce and all parties knew that we were a package deal. My hubby accepted it a long time ago. His wife isn't extremely thrilled with me- but she respects our friendship. And we have become better friends over the years. My friend is more like a brother and our moms are really close too. The best thing to do is get to know the fellow and respect the friendship that your gf has. Don't say anything- because this friendship isn't going anywhere. The sooner you realize that this is a package deal- the sooner you can move on and realize you've got a great gf and a new buddy.

Answer 3

It sounds to me as if this man is a close friend of your girlfriend and nothing more. I can tell you that were you to let jealousy interfere with what sounds like a special relationship in the life of your girlfriend, it would be a truly selfish thing to do. I would say that if it helps you, think of this friend as a brother to your girlfriend. (That may be how she thinks of him already.) This would also be a good way to gauge how on the up and up her relationship with him is. If she treats him like a sibling, then I wouldn't worry about it at all. If she behaves in a flirtatious manner towards him or does anything else with him that would strike you as an odd way for a woman to treat someone she considers like a brother, then maybe I would start to become concerned. Otherwise, don't panic when she talks about her friend. He has apparently been an important part of her life for a lot longer than you have and were you to act irrationally towards the situation, she would probably just become angry at you. Remember, she has had many years to develop a romantic relationship with this man and apparently there is none now, so I would be grateful to this individual for providing such friendship to your girlfriend for so many years. Accept that he will likely always be a part of her life and possibly yours should your relationship with her continue. Realize that were the two of you to part ways, she would probably always have him as a friend. Don't do anything to jeapordize the bond between the two of them, no matter what happens, even if you ever feel that for whatever reason you need to get out of the relationship with her at some point.

Answer 4

ok, let's evalute two angles here. Yes, there is the possibility of you being jealous, and if so, that is something you have to try really hard and overcome youself. But, if it's your gut, I do believe it's something that you should talk to her about. Sometimes, your gut feelings pick up on things that your mind is trying to ignore. I mean how much times have we seen those cliche movies about the girl fallling for that guy who has been her best friend since forever, leaving the current love trailing behind. I kno this is something you have thought about, and I would understand why it is something u would want to avoid. I have no doubt that your g/f love u immensly, this does not convince me however that she cannot have feelings for someonelse. Watch her for a while...look at the expression on her face when she talks about him, how often she talks about him..and if e'ry conversation somehow leads back to him. If so explain to her that u do trust her and u kno that there is real love b/w u guys..but note that..is u and her now...u are not expecting her to drop they guy...but be respectful of the time u have 2gether..when its u and her, its u and her...u need not be listening about something Mr. did earlier...ask her if she could not talk about him soo much. If she takes offense to this, just explain to her that u are a bit uncomfortable with him...u can't explain it but u are. If she loves u..she'd try and please u..but don't have urself for a fool..Trust ur instincts...they're usually right.

Answer 5

It's normal you feel weird when she talks about him cause she knows him since like forever. But if you really trust her there is nothing to be afraid of.... Anyways if you want to be completly honnest with her you should talk to her about what you feel. Tell that you know the two of you love each other that you understand that there is nothing between her and her friend but that is makes you feel kinda weird (or whatever you feel tell her) If she is intelligent and that she really loves you she will understand and probably try to make you feel better about it... I'm a girl and i would totally understand if I was your gf. it's just normal but the best is to tell her what you feel and explain it to her....

Answer 6

Ok my best friend is going through the same thing and she and her bf are in love and they trust each other but you know that If you are in a relationship you don't have a guy best friend. I mean before they were dating her and her current bf she talked to this guy every night... I understand how you might be allittle jealous, it is so hard... Even if you love the girl tell her that you feel like you aren't as important to her... she will understand and hopefilly back off the other friend.... If she doesn't back off of him... she obviously doesn't love you enough to care... about you... I know hard stuff I went through it too... Good luck I hope this helps you.. I am sort of a relationship girl... best of luck ...

Answer 7

You are going to have to expand your horizons a bit, on this one. You're feeling territorial over your girlfirend, which is an instinctive, animal reaction. Your brain needs to kick in here, and think about how she will react if you start pressuring her to freeze out a friend of such long standing.

If she is as loyal and trustworthy as you feel she is, then demanding that she cease to be friends with him could ruin your own relationship with her. You should probably keep your feelings about this to yourself. Treat him as you would her other friends, and don't try to become a wedge between them.

If you don't actually trust her, you're going to let this drive you nuts, and you're going to make an issue out of it at some point. That could be a huge mistake. If you absolutely must go there, you'd probably do well to admit to her that you're jealous of their history, and ask her to try and help you work through it.

Answer 8

If you feel weird about it, then yea go ahead and talk to her about it, you'll feel MUCH better hearing what she has to say. I have a friend like that and i love him to death, i also have a b/f, and i love him to death as well. But one is strictly my best friend, the other my b/f. Both of which i learn a lot from and whom i can count on for anything. Don't think anything else is going on. I only see him as a brother figure, i'm sure your girl does too.

Answer 9

Hello Friend..I am friends with a lady who is married and I have been her best friend for 30 years. We have had some problems with her hubby as should be expected, However after many years he has learned that friendship is all that it is. If your girl loves you, then you have nothing to fear..Stay true to her and do not give her any rules. I think you will find that her friend can help your relationship over time..

Answer 10

I am a guy who has a friendship with an ex-girlfriend, and I can assure you that if she does love you, you have NOTHING to fear! I've gone out with her & her boyfriend; and at the bar, she & I even dance (because he simply does not dance but we both like to). He was a little concerned at first, but she & I both are aware of it, and neither of us want our friendship to come between her & him. She is one of those 'touchy-feely' people, and I am known among my female friends for giving great (innocent!) backrubs & foot rubs; but we both understood that those behaviors are off-limits now that she's dating (without even having to hear it from the boyfriend).

Jealousy is normal; but if she likes him and she likes you (even though in different ways), chances are the two of you have enough in common that you'll get along pretty well once you know him well enough to let your guard down. Good luck.

Answer 11

Its normal the way you fell. My man feels the same way bout me and my friends. We talked bout it and got it all out in the air. He's not so jealous anymore. What helped was him getting to meet my friends and hang out with them a couple times. If you love her and she really loves you than you really have nothing to worry bout. Just talk. And if you guys cant talk about this.... than what can you talk about?